Flowers for a Ghost
by aliceinwonderbra
Summary: Buffy leaps into Glory's portal knowing it means certain death. She wakes up in the hospital, but something is not quite right. Buffy/Faith pairing. This is a completed story. New chapters will be posted each Friday.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: *Please do not distribute or post this story anywhere without my permission.* Thanks to cookiesarefood for her betaing skills.

This story was inspired in a very broad sense by a Wiffy fic I read many years ago. It was called You Used to Be Mine, by Chimera Bloom. I don't think it exists on the web anymore, but if anyone's familiar with it, I think you'll see what I mean.

FLOWERS FOR A GHOST

Chapter 1

Her perception of the outside world was foggy, as if she was fighting her way through endless clouds. Gradually, sound came to her. First, the gentle hum of electronics. Then, the intermittent beeping of monitors. The deep breathing of two people, matching their slow and steady heartbeats. Buffy's eyelids fluttered, trying to adapt to the dim lighting of the hospital room.

Her ribs ached as she inhaled, reminding her of the circumstances that led her to the room she was in. Glory. _Dawn_. Darting around the room, her eyes landed on her sister, curled in a chair by the window. Dawn's long, dark hair wrapped around her like a cocoon. If she didn't feel like every muscle in her body was exhausted, Buffy would be climbing out of bed and moving to her sister. _Dawn_. Dawn was alive and safe. Buffy: one, Hell Bitch: zero. Buffy won, in fact. The realization brought a smile to her face. She'd been ready to die when she jumped in that portal. Making it through relatively intact was just icing on the 'Glory Lost' cake.

Across the room, Giles was sleeping uncomfortably in a chair. His glasses had slid down the bridge of his nose, and his hair stood up in several directions. He looked as tired as Buffy felt. It wasn't hard to guess why. No watcher should have to see his slayer die twice, after all. Buffy made a mental note: take Giles out for watcher/slayer bonding. Something English, all Giles-y fun, no demons. Somewhere out there, there was a Keats reading with Giles's name on it.

"Giles," Buffy called quietly. Her throat felt thick and scratchy.

The watcher stirred slowly, blinking awake.

"Morning," she managed to croak, "or maybe evening, I'm not sure."

"Buffy!" He cried, leaping from his chair to her bedside. "You're awake!"

She nodded, immediately wincing at the stiffness of her neck. "Awake girl, that's me."

Awakened by the noise, Dawn practically launched herself into Buffy's arms. It hurt her ribs, but Buffy didn't care. She gripped her little sister as hard as she could without damaging the girl's bones.

Dawn sobbed, and Buffy ran soothing hands over her hair. "It's okay. It's okay."

"I thought you weren't going to wake up," Dawn cried, tears streaking freely down her cheeks.

"Hey," Buffy tried to joke, though she had tears in her own eyes, "you thought a little portal to hell was gonna kill me? Where's the faith?"

"Right here," a gravelly voice interjected from the doorway.

Buffy froze, her sister still tightly clasped in her arms. She looked at the woman at the door. Faith's pale, tired face stared back at her. A look of relief painted her features.

"Buffy?" Dawn winced. "You're hurting me."

"What is she doing here?" Buffy demanded, only lessening her hold slightly.

Giles cast a surprised look between the two slayers. "What do you mean, Buffy?"

Before the blonde could answer, Willow and Xander pushed past Faith and crowded around the hospital bed.

"Buffy!" Willow cried, happy tears in her eyes.

Xander touched her shoulder, his joy at seeing her awake obvious in his face.

Buffy ignored all of them, still staring daggers at Faith. "I mean, why isn't she in jail?"

"Why would I be in jail?" Faith asked, confused. She took several steps toward the bed.

Buffy practically leapt from the bed, shoving her sister behind her. All her muscles screamed in protest, but she didn't care. What the hell was going on?

"Stay away from us!" She shouted a warning. She was in no condition to fight Faith, but if it came down to protecting Dawn, she'd do what she had to.

Holding up her hands non-threateningly, Faith took two steps backward. "Okay, B, it's okay. Just calm down."

"Don't tell me to calm down!" Buffy bit back. "How'd you get out?"

Trying to help, Dawn spoke over her sister's shoulder. "Buffy, it's just Faith. It's okay."

"Why is everyone saying it's okay?" Buffy looked at the faces of her friends, all of whom were staring at her in concern, instead of watching Faith like they should have been. "She's tried to kill us before!"

"What?" Faith gaped at her.

Wheels were turning in Buffy's head and she didn't like the conclusion they were leading to. "Oh my God," she murmured, as the most likely scenario occurred to her. "You put a spell on us, didn't you?"

"Spell?" Faith repeated, flabbergasted. She looked to their watcher in distress. "Giles, what's wrong with her?"

"What's the matter, Faith?" Buffy glared at the other slayer. "Thought your little spell would work on me, too?" She was growing lightheaded from how fast her heart was pounding. Leave it to Faith to show up here and try to kick her when she was down. Closing the portal to hell wasn't enough; now she had to deal with the psycho slayer on top of it.

Shaking her head slowly, Faith tried to keep her voice even. "There's no spell, B. I don't know what you're talking about."

Ignoring Faith's protests, Buffy continued, "Haven't you done enough? Now you're getting my friends involved? My sister?"

"I…" The other slayer looked toward Giles, as if he could tell her what was going on. "What?"

Buffy had to hand it to Faith, the brunette looked genuinely confused and horrified. "You know exactly what," she hissed back. Her legs trembled underneath her, and she struggled to keep herself upright. If Faith saw one moment of weakness, she'd attack.

"Dawn," Giles called calmly, "why don't you go and get something from the vending machine?"

His motives were transparent, and Buffy knew she couldn't trust Giles right now. He was under some sort of spell! Who knew what would happen to Dawn without Buffy to protect her?

"No," Buffy insisted, reaching for Dawn's arm when the girl tried to step around her.

Dawn winced in pain, trying to free her arm. "Buffy, let me go!"

Willow and Xander stepped forward, trying to get between the sisters.

"Stop!" Buffy cried, trying to keep a hold of Dawn. Black spots swam in her vision. She was overexerting herself too soon, but she had no choice.

Xander pulled at her waist while Willow tried to tug Dawn's arm free. Struggling furiously, Buffy accidentally elbowed Xander in the jaw. He fell against the bed, gripping his face. It was becoming hard to breath, but she couldn't let her sister go.

"Buffy! Buffy, let her go!" Giles's voice came to her as if from through a long tunnel.

She felt Dawn slip away from her grasp as she sank to the ground.

As the room faded into a blur, Faith's panicked face appeared above her. Buffy's last thought as she lost consciousness was puzzlement. Faith had never been a very good actor.

XXXXX

Faith anxiously gnawed on her fingernails as she paced outside the room she shared with Buffy. Giles emerged, looking exhausted.

"Is she okay?" Faith asked immediately, peering over his shoulder at the unconscious slayer.

"In a manner of speaking," Giles replied. He placed a caring hand on Faith's shoulder. "I have some ideas about what may have happened to her. Let's go downstairs."

The slayer nodded, digging her fingernails into her palm to keep herself calm. "I'll be right down."

As Giles walked away, Faith cautiously entered the bedroom. Buffy was lying on her back with the covers pulled up to her shoulders. Having no idea how long she would be out, Faith took a cautious seat beside her. Gently brushing some hair away from Buffy's face, Faith studied her. She'd been so elated when she'd heard Buffy awake and talking, but it had all gone to shit so quickly. Buffy was acting like she didn't even know who Faith was. Whatever had happened to her when she jumped in that portal had obviously done a real number on her. Bending down, she pressed a gentle kiss to the other slayer's forehead.

Faith closed the door behind her, heading downstairs to join the gang. Dawn sat alone on the love seat, and she quickly snuggled into Faith's side when she joined her. Buffy's little sister was growing up so fast, but in some ways she was still very young. Especially since losing her mother, Dawn always seemed to want affection from Buffy and Faith. It couldn't be easy for the kid, losing her mom and knowing that her surrogate parents were out risking their lives every night. Faith slipped an arm around Dawn's shoulders, squeezing. "What's up, Giles? You said you had ideas?"

"None of them good, I'm afraid." Giles pinched the bridge of his nose. "That was why I insisted we should—"

"Kidnap Buffy from the hospital?" Xander put in.

"Well, I hardly think it qualifies as kidnapping," Giles protested mildly.

"I have an idea," Anya announced. "Buffy could have spent several years in a hell dimension before we saw her exit the portal."

Dawn immediately shrunk against Faith in horror.

"Thank you, sweetie," Xander interjected, before Anya could add anything further. "Let's wait to hear what Giles has to say."

Anya beamed, happy to have contributed.

"As much as it pains me to say so," Giles's voice was grim, "there may be some weight to Anya's theory. I noticed a rather large scar on Buffy's neck… I would say it was a vampire bite."

"From the Master?" Willow asked.

"It's more recent," Giles replied. "Definitely not the Master's."

Faith's emotions warred between pure, unadulterated rage and horror. The slayer in her was repulsed by the idea of a vampire sinking his teeth into a Chosen One. The part of her that was all Faith was furious. Buffy had been hurt, possibly horrifically and over a long span of time, if Giles was right, and Faith hadn't been there to protect her. Her throat felt tight, and she wished she were alone so she could break down. As much as she loved the gang, she hated for people to see her cry. Swallowing hard, Faith asked, "What are the other possibilities?"

"Well," Giles answered, "she may not be our Buffy at all."

"What do you mean?" Dawn asked in alarm. "Whose Buffy is she?"

"Glory opened a portal between multiple dimensions, including her own."

Faith nodded impatiently. She knew that already.

"That could have included any number of worlds quite similar to ours, in which Buffy is a slayer, and she jumped into that portal."

"All the Buffys jump into the portal at once…" Xander began.

Willow finished his thought with a frown. "It's like musical slayers; everybody ends up in a new dimension."

Faith wasn't sure which possibility was worse, that Buffy had been in a hell dimension, or that she actually came from another world. One in which Faith was apparently evil, and had tried to kill her. The rest of the Scoobies appeared to be pondering the same question.

"Any other ideas?" Oz asked. "Less scary ones?"

Beside him, Willow brightened at the possibility.

Thinking it over, Giles said, "Well, there's the possibility that the energy from the portal has, well, driven her insane."

Dawn started to cry softly, and Faith glared at Giles. "Way to be optimistic, Giles."

Sitting down tiredly, Giles rubbed a hand across his eyes. "I'm afraid I can't think of very many good scenarios. We need to face facts."

"All right," Xander agreed, before the slayer could reply. "So, how do we know what happened to her?"

"We'll have to wait until she wakes up."

"When she does," Faith said, "I don't want Dawn around her alone."

Dawn immediately sat straight up. "What? Come on, that's ridiculous." She looked around the room for an ally, but only found the others refusing to meet her gaze.

Finally, Giles spoke up. "I think that's probably for the best." He held up a hand when Dawn opened her mouth to protest. "Just until we figure out what's going on."

"She might not even be our Buffy," Faith added. "I don't want her to hurt you." She pressed the faint hand shaped bruise on Dawn's arm for emphasis.

Wincing, Dawn nodded reluctantly. "Buffy wouldn't hurt me on purpose, though. She was just scared."

That wasn't up for debate. Faith had seen the fear that under laid Buffy's harsh words. Someone else might have missed it, but she'd been with the blonde slayer for almost two years, and loved her even longer. She was an expert in Buffy Summers.

XXXXX

"Hey," Oz poked his head cautiously in Buffy's bedroom door.

Looking up from the book in her lap, Willow gave him a strained smile. "Hi."

"Want some company?"

Nodding, Willow stood up from her chair. Oz closed the door quietly behind him and walked to his girlfriend, taking her in his arms.

Trembling, the redhead struggled not to cry.

"It's gonna be okay," Oz murmured, rubbing her back soothingly. "We'll figure it out."

"I know," Willow sniffled, pressing the back of her hand against her nose indelicately. She pulled back from Oz's embrace. "It's just hard… seeing her like this."

Oz nodded in understanding. Taking a seat in the room's armchair, he gently pulled Willow into his lap. The two held each other for a long moment before Oz nodded to the book in her hand. "That one, again?"

"Hey," she pouted. "It's my go-to book for sad times!"

"Why don't you read us some?" Oz asked. "Maybe it'll be Buffy's go-to book, too."

"Okay." She could tell he was just trying to take her mind off worrying about her best friend, but it _was_ a good book. It gave them a way of passing the time, anyway. Opening to the first page, Willow began to read, "The unicorn lived in a lilac wood, and she lived all alone..."

XXXXX

"The Last Unicorn again?" Buffy's tired voice asked, startling Willow so badly she nearly dropped her book.

"It's my go-to book!" The redhead cried, jumping from Oz's lap and rushing to her best friend's side.

"I know," Buffy assured her. "Maybe next time I'm unconscious, pick another book. I just spent several dream hours running from the Red Bull. Who looked suspiciously like Faith, by the way."

Willow stared back at her with a nervous look.

Buffy continued, "I was nearly saved by Prince Lir, who was Faith again," she added dryly. "I know I slept through most of Psych, but I'm thinking this means something." Looking up at Willow, she frowned. "Please tell me I dreamed that Faith is here."

"Afraid not," Willow grimaced, expecting the slayer to leap from the bed. She cast a pleading look over her shoulder. Oz came to her rescue, moving to stand beside her.

"Hi, Oz," Buffy greeted calmly. She began to ask Willow something further, but her eyes flew back to Oz. "Oz!"

"Hey, Buffy," he greeted with his usual nonchalance.

"What are you doing here?"

"Sorry," Willow interjected, thinking Buffy was upset about Oz being in her room. "He was just keeping me company."

"But," the slayer's gaze flicked back and forth between them, taking in Oz's arm wrapped around Willow's waist, "when did this happen? What about Tara?"

Shaking her head in confusion, Willow asked, "Who?"

Buffy was beginning to feel very uneasy. On top of Faith being there and up to who knew what, Tara was… not there? And Oz was. She pushed herself into a seated position, intent on getting out of bed. Even her room looked strange.

"Get Giles," Willow said to Oz, as Buffy climbed to her feet. Nodding, he ducked through the door.

Buffy muttered to herself, moving around the room. Her eyes lingered on unfamiliar items, boots she wouldn't wear, cluttered cosmetics strewn over the dresser top when she kept hers neatly packed in her makeup bag, a… vibrator?! She was _positive_ that was not hers. "That's _not_ mine," Buffy declared, thrusting a finger in its general direction.

Flushing bright pink, Willow shielded her eyes. "I know!"

"Will," Buffy sat heavily on the edge of her bed. "This… is this Faith's stuff?"

Nodding tentatively, the girl took a seat next to her best friend. "But Buffy, it's not what you think. It's not a spell."

"It has to be," Buffy protested. "Faith was definitely not living in my bedroom yesterday!"

"Buffy," Willow gazed longingly toward the door, hoping Giles would show up to help her explain, "umm, the thing is, this might not be your bedroom, exactly."

"Huh?"

Giles stepped through the doorway, followed closely by Dawn and Oz. "What Willow means," he clarified, "is that we think you may be from another dimension."

This did not compute. "I say again, huh?"

From outside the bedroom door, Faith listened to Giles explain his theory on the world swapping again. It seemed clear, to her at least, that this was definitely what had occurred. Buffy was calmer now, listening to Giles's thoughts.

"So, Faith, your Faith, she never went bad?" Buffy seemed stuck on this point.

"No," Giles replied. "Faith has been working alongside you, err, Buffy, since she arrived in Sunnydale."

Risking showing her face, Faith stepped into the doorway.

Buffy looked up at her, seemingly dumbfounded.

"Hi," the brunette said, "I'm non-evil Faith."

Flushing, Buffy mumbled back a hello. It was clear she didn't trust this information completely. Faith wondered how bad she'd been, in Buffy's world, to make the blonde distrust her this much.

Putting that out of her mind, Faith moved on to more urgent questions. "Okay, so we got some other Buffy. Where's my B?"

The blonde slayer's eyes flashed, having picked up on the possessive wording Faith used.

Faith didn't even notice. She was looking at Giles, waiting for him to respond. "We have to get her back."

Giles nodded emphatically. "Certainly, we'll get both Buffys back where they belong," he trailed off, his voice less certain when he continued, "somehow."

"Great," Faith responded. "Any ideas?"

Each face was completely blank as she looked around the room. Buffy was the only one meeting her eyes. Looking at this imposter, sitting on her bed, Faith felt the first twinge of hopelessness enter her mind. She tried to feel positive, but Faith had never been a very positive person. Even as the gang began brainstorming, she couldn't escape the little voice in the back of her mind asking, _what if Buffy never came back?_


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: *Please do not distribute or post this story anywhere without my permission.* Thanks to cookiesarefood for her betaing skills.

FLOWERS FOR A GHOST

_She tried to feel positive, but Faith had never been a very positive person. Even as the gang began brainstorming, she couldn't escape the little voice in the back of her mind asking, _what if Buffy never came back?

Chapter 2

Buffy arrived at the Magic Box already on edge. Faith had driven (apparently, Buffy's driving skills were well known in all dimensions), and the ride had been almost entirely silent. She didn't mind not speaking to Faith, not in the slightest. The fact that Faith was allegedly not evil, and apparently dating her counterpoint in this dimension, was giving her a major wiggins. It wasn't that she _wanted_ Faith to be evil. Buffy was firmly on the side of people remaining non-murderers. It was just weird seeing _Faith_ in the non-murderer club. The thing that was bothering her was the new policy of silence Dawn had instituted. To add insult to injury, she had no problem talking to Faith. Buffy had heard them speaking in low tones earlier in the day. Faith was probably conspiring to get Dawn to hate her. Buffy was sure she was up to something. A person wasn't just evil in one dimension and Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm in another.

She stepped through the entrance of the Magic Box first, quickly taking a seat next to Willow at the table. Books were open everywhere, and it looked like the gang was already hard at work. "Tell me you have good news," she said, by way of greeting. The box of donuts she set down was quickly opened and passed around.

Giles took a jelly, careful to keep the powder from dropping onto the books, and he shook his head. "The information available on alternate universes is extremely limited." He tried to muster up an encouraging look. "We're not giving up, of course."

This was the second morning she had woken up in this strange dimension, and now that she was actually able to get out of bed and remain mobile, she was ready to dig into research. Unfortunately, Buffy's hopes of getting back home were already dwindling. She said, "But you can open a portal to other dimensions. Like when we sent vampire Willow back. That happened here too, right?"

Beside her, Willow shuddered, thinking of her vampiric alter-ego. "Yeah, it happened here, too."

The watcher nodded. "But that was different. We were opening a portal into a specific dimension, and she had come through the same way."

Having taken a seat next to Anya, Faith asked, "So? What does that matter?"

Surprisingly, Anya answered her question. "Buffy came through a multidimensional portal that was open to all dimensions. If we tried to send her back, we'd need that same kind of portal." She looked to Giles for approval.

"Anya has been most helpful on this subject," Giles acknowledged dutifully.

"Thank you, Giles," the former vengeance demon basked in the glory of being helpful. "Perhaps now would be a good time to give me a raise."

Faith waved a hand in Anya's direction, cutting off further commentary. "I don't get it. Why do you have to open such a big portal? You've got her," she jabbed a finger in Buffy's direction. Ignoring Buffy's bristling, she continued, "Can't you just like… magically lojack her?"

"I'm afraid it doesn't work that way." Giles frowned. "Moving objects and people between dimensions is no simple task."

Faith felt like a tremendous weight was settling into her chest.

Buffy spoke up in protest, "But that can't be it! I can't be stuck here!"

Giles tried to sound reassuring. "As I said, we aren't giving up, are we, Anya?"

"Well," she replied with a practiced lack of concern, "I've told you all I know."

Shooting Anya a dirty look, Willow reached for Buffy's hand. "We're all helping with research. We'll find something to get you back where you belong."

"Sure," Buffy agreed, letting Willow hold her hand, "we'll find something." She wanted to believe her own words, but she'd seen the look on Giles's face. He was no better at false reassurances than her Giles was.

"We will," Dawn said, sounding more hopeful than Buffy. She reached into the stack of books on the table and plucked one out. Buffy and Faith followed suit, each of them searching desperately for the smallest of clues.

XXXXX

Walking through Restfield Cemetery, Faith was preoccupied with thoughts about the afternoon they'd spent researching. They were all feeling disheartened, but Dawn and Faith most of all. The younger girl had gone immediately to her room when they got back to the house, shaking off Buffy's hand and ignoring her attempts to get her to talk. Faith knew she should go after her, but she was barely keeping herself together. Giles had requested several rare books on loan from a friend in England, and he seemed optimistic that they would find something in one of them. Faith's optimism was dwindling. She'd suspected from the beginning that there might be no way back. The passing days had not buoyed her spirits in any way.

She supposed Buffy could be feeling equally upset, but there was no way of telling that. The blonde walked with her, several feet of distance between them, with her stake at the ready. She was quiet and focused, so different from the bubbly, playful girl Faith had known and loved. Faith didn't know what she would do if they couldn't figure out how to get Buffy back home. Could she really stay in Sunnydale, forced to interact with someone who looked just like her Buffy? The alternative didn't sound that appealing either. Sunnydale was her home now, and Dawn and the others were her family. She couldn't imagine picking up and starting fresh.

"Faith!" Buffy's voice cut into her thoughts, and she looked over, just in time to see a large gray demon hurtling toward her.

It tackled her before she could move. Faith rolled with the momentum, trying to come out on top of the thing.

Buffy was grappling with her own demon, dodging its snapping jaws with expert speed. Kicking its kneecap, she brought the demon to its knees.

It grabbed for her ankle, yanking forward so she would fall. Bringing her other foot up, Buffy kicked off its chest and executed a back flip.

She landed in front of the surprised demon, smiling widely. The gray scaled demon roared in displeasure before bringing a strong fist into her stomach.

"Oof," Buffy exhaled as her breath left her chest. Maybe she had deserved that hit. She'd been showing off just a little bit. But who could blame her? You didn't see Faith getting acrobatic. In fact, now that she looked, Faith wasn't doing very well at all.

The brunette was hit with a vicious backhand and went sprawling to the ground. The demon leapt after her, jaws open and ready.

Before Buffy could move to help, the jagged teeth sunk into Faith's shoulder. She cried out in pain, whipping the heel of her hand into its chin.

Buffy's demon was on the move now, so there was no opportunity to help Faith. The blonde swung into action, ducking the first punch directed at her face. She drove her fist into the demon's side.

It bellowed in pain, and Buffy used the momentary distraction to plunge her stake into its chest.

Crumpling to the ground, the demon let out a last feeble cry. Then its body lay still.

Brushing her hands off on her pants, Buffy turned to assess Faith's situation.

Faith was bleeding freely, her denim jacket appearing almost black from the lost blood. She was trying to hold her own, but beginning to sway on her feet.

"Hey, ugly," Buffy called, trying to draw its attention to her.

Just as the demon looked over to her, Faith managed to land a punch to its jaw. Its attention was immediately called back to her.

Buffy narrowed her eyes in annoyance. Did Faith have a death wish or something?

Faith leapt over the demon's leg as it tried to sweep her off her feet. As she landed, she brought her elbow down against the back of its neck.

The demon stumbled forward, and Faith followed. She moved in for the kill, but the ridged-backed thing wheeled, driving its shoulder into her chest.

Faith landed hard, her stake rolling from her grasp.

It swung a giant fist downward, and Faith only barely managed to avoid her skull being crushed. She seemed dazed, shaking her head as she struggled to sit up.

Buffy had stayed back since her help was so obviously unwanted, but seeing the thing bare its jaws again; she knew she had to step in. Sprinting forward, she kicked it square in the head, forcing it away from the fallen slayer.

Pursuing it relentlessly, Buffy jumped on its back as it struggled to stand. She wrapped an arm over its shoulder and plunged her stake into its torso. The demon groaned, sinking to its knees.

Pleased, she retracted her stake and stepped firmly back on the ground. Faith was on her feet, pale and unsteady.

"You don't look so good," Buffy told her. Even to her own ears, there was a note of condescension there.

Pressing her palm to the wound in her shoulder, Faith managed to nod. "That's why I'm leaving before they get up."

"Get up?" Buffy repeated, alarmed.

"Voynok demons," Faith replied, beginning to walk away. "Nine lives."

Buffy followed in her stead, keeping an eye on the still unmoving demons as she did so. "You know who doesn't have nine lives?"

"B," Faith began, intent on telling her to shut up. Apparently one thing both Buffys shared was a desire to nag Faith about sloppiness during patrol. She realized a moment too late that she'd called Buffy the affectionate nickname she had always called her girlfriend. Just like that, all desire to argue with the other slayer was gone. She felt heavy and exhausted.

Not realizing anything was wrong, Buffy continued talking, "Slayers. Slayers don't have nine lives. You almost got killed back there."

Annoyed, the brunette ignored her, exiting the cemetery and starting in the direction of Revello. Her shoulder throbbed, and her skin felt clammy beneath her wet jacket.

"Are you listening to me?" Buffy demanded.

Faith was, unfortunately, and she was growing more tired of Buffy's harping with every passing moment. Her feet felt heavy, and they were still so many blocks from home. "What do you care anyway?" Faith finally bit back.

Buffy cast a withering glance at her. "Believe me, I don't."

"Then do me a favor, and shut up."

"Gladly," Buffy agreed, stalking a little faster so that Faith was left trailing behind.

XXXXX

"What happened?" Dawn squealed as she leapt from the couch, sending schoolbooks plummeting to the floor.

"Just a little accident on patrol," Faith tried to down play the extent of the injury.

Knowing Faith's penchant for minimizing, Dawn looked to Buffy for a response.

"The blood loss probably would have been less serious if you hadn't tried to finish it off yourself," Buffy directed at Faith, happy to have someone else on her side of the issue.

To her surprise, Dawn's eyes narrowed in her direction. "This is your fault!"

"My fault?" Buffy repeated incredulously.

Faith tried to protest, "It wasn't her fault, Dawnie."

"_My_ sister would never have let this happen," the teen replied angrily. "She watched Faith's back!"

"Hey!" Faith growled defensively. "My back doesn't need watching!"

The more Buffy heard about this dimension's version of herself, the more she thought she disliked her. She had questionable dating taste; that was a given. She obviously indulged Faith's tendency toward dangerous, thinking with her fists slaying. Her clothing style was nothing to write home about either. Buffy wrinkled her nose at the memory of some of the clothing in the closet upstairs. "Look," she responded, upset that Dawn was blaming her for this, "I tried to help her. She wanted to do it herself." Buffy shrugged. "That's not my problem."

Dawn was peering under the shoulder of Faith's jacket, trying to assess her wound. She looked up angrily. "Of course she did, because you've been treating her like crap since you got here!"

"That's not true," Buffy argued immediately.

Her sister merely glared at her, as she herded Faith toward the stairs.

Once the two were out of sight, Buffy looked around the empty living room, frustrated. If she was honest with herself, she could admit that if it had been anyone else out on patrol with her who obviously needed help, she wouldn't have stood back when she knew she should intervene. And she had been ignoring the other slayer as much as possible. Maybe Dawn was a little bit right with what she said.

Buffy didn't know what they expected her to do. This wasn't her world! She didn't fit in here. She was trying to find a way to deal with the changes in this dimension. But these things took time! Finding out you were dating Faith? There weren't enough years in therapy that could make that okay. Civility was a reasonable goal for about six years down the line. At the moment, it seemed like a lot to ask. Faith had tried to kill people she loved, hurt her mother, stolen her body, and slept with her boyfriend. Possibly two of them (Buffy wasn't clear on that point). She'd betrayed Buffy and she'd betrayed their calling. These weren't the kinds of things a person just got over.

With a sigh, Buffy started up the stairs to her room. From the bathroom, she could hear Dawn scolding Faith about her injury. It brought a small smile to her lips. It was just so _Dawn_ to befriend someone like Faith. The kid had a definite weakness for people just slightly this side of evil. Exhibit A: the other Dawn's friendship with Spike. At least some things remained the same across dimensions. Looking at her bed, which still smelled uncomfortably foreign, Buffy's smile faded. Small things stayed the same, but so many important things were different.

XXXXX

Dawn sat cross-legged on her bed, hugging a pillow against her stomach. Periodically, she could hear the thumping of Faith's footsteps moving down the hall.

Buffy had been in their dimension for several days now, and with Giles getting no closer to finding a solution, their living situation had become a problem. As comfortable as the couch was, Faith was a little sick of sleeping on it. With Joyce's room empty, she had decided to make use of it. Dawn had pointed out, fairly, she thought, that Buffy could sleep there, but Faith disagreed.

"Dawnie," she sighed, "Buffy's a guest."

"She's not a guest," Dawn huffed.

Shaking her head, Faith insisted, "She's not our Buffy. That makes her a guest."

"So she gets to kick you out of your room?"

"She's not kicking me out," the slayer defended. "She just needs her own space, and that room is the most familiar to her. Come on, Dawn, don't make this harder than it already is."

Crossing her arms, the teenager sat angrily on her bed. "It's not like she's making it easy. She doesn't even talk to you."

Faith took a seat beside Dawn, bumping her shoulder lightly into the girl's. "She wants to talk to you, you know?"

"Yeah, but that's not the point."

She found it sweet, in a way, that Dawn was directing so much attitude at the imposter Buffy, on Faith's behalf. Faith had never had a real family, and certainly not a little sister. Coming to Sunnydale had been a turning point for her. Here, she had people who truly cared about her, and Dawn was one of the most vocal about it. She had been just 12 when she met Faith, and she instantly idolized the new slayer. As hard as it sometimes was for Faith to accept that people cared about her, she never had to guess with Dawn. The younger girl clearly adored her, and in the case of recent events, was taking sides.

"Look, squirt," Faith ruffled her hair as Dawn gave her an irritated glare, "I appreciate what you're trying to do."

"But?" Dawn asked, moving her head away from the slayer's fingers.

Faith let her hand drop back to the bed. "But she's your sister… sort of. No matter where she came from, she loves you. She's having a hard enough time here without you giving her the cold shoulder."

Not responding, Dawn merely crossed her arms.

"Think about it," Faith told her, getting up to leave.

Dawn had thought about it, and she'd come to the conclusion that Faith was wrong. This Buffy was ruining everything. She was forcing Faith to move into her mom's room, making everyone tense and upset whenever she was around, and she was mean. She couldn't even manage to hold a conversation with Faith without saying something rude. So Dawn would not be helping with this move. And she definitely would not be talking to this Buffy any time soon. She would just stay in her room until the real Buffy came back. However long that took.

XXXXX

"So," Faith paused awkwardly in the doorway to the bedroom, "that's it for now, I guess." She jiggled the box she was holding.

"Okay," Buffy replied neutrally. She was perched on the side of the bed, picking at fuzz on the comforter.

When she didn't say anything further, Faith turned on her heel and moved down the hallway. In spite of what she'd told Dawn, she found being around this Buffy barely tolerable. She was just so different than the real Buffy. She avoided Faith as much as possible, and when she was forced to interact with her, she barely spoke.

Placing her box down on the bed, Faith closed the door to her new bedroom with a sigh. Ignoring the haphazard pile of clothes on the bed, she settled onto the empty section. She pressed the heels of her hands against her tired eyes. She'd known it was a possibility she would lose Buffy when they went in to the battle with Glory. The blonde slayer had sworn she would do anything to avoid sacrificing her sister, including letting their world bleed into Glory's hell dimension. These weren't the kind of statements that gave a girl a lot of hope in all of them surviving. Faith knew a lot about loss and grief. She hadn't always handled it well, but she did handle it. She knew she could go on without Buffy, and vice versa. They were slayers, and slayers had steel in their veins. They would keep going, no matter how badly their hearts were broken. She had thought she was prepared for anything.

But she hadn't considered that she would get the wrong Buffy back, and have to live with that. They had the same face, the same dainty hands, and the same laugh that Faith loved. There was just one big difference. This Buffy didn't love Faith. She didn't even like her. She didn't know how to begin to grieve for her girlfriend when she had to face her twin every day. She just hoped they would find a way to fix things soon.

Reaching into the last box she'd carried, Faith plucked out a framed photo of the slayers. The two were grinning widely, Buffy tucked under Faith's arm. The blonde's head lay on her shoulder, and Faith was looking away from the camera, down at her girlfriend. Tears pricked her eyes as she studied their image. She thought in some ways, it might be easier if she knew Buffy were dead. Instead, she could be anywhere, in any dimension, doing who knew what. Faith's fingertips gently touched the glass over Buffy's cheek. Looking at their happy faces, her brave façade began to crack. A few stray tears trickled down her cheeks, and her throat burned. She missed everything about Buffy. Her smile. Her snoring. Her slaying quips. The murmurs of happiness she made when Faith kissed the back of her neck in the morning. Where was Buffy now? Was she having trouble sleeping alone, like Faith was?

A knock on her door caused her to quickly wipe her cheeks dry. "Yeah," she cleared her throat, "what's up?"

The door opened slowly, and Buffy peeked in, her eyes sweeping the room quickly. "Giles called," she informed Faith. "The gang's coming over here to research." It was sure to be another fruitful day. "I got the feeling he wants to escape Anya."

"Makes sense," Faith replied. "Thanks for the heads up."

Buffy nodded tersely, closing the door again as she left. Faith looked at the frame in her hand again, placing it carefully on the bedside table. With a sigh, she stood up to get ready. The room was a mess, with her stuff strewn everywhere, but hopefully she wouldn't be in it long enough to care.

XXXXX

Leaning on the railing of the back porch, Buffy gazed across the yard. With Dawn silently occupying the kitchen, she'd decided to snag a glass of juice and beat a hasty retreat. She knew she had to talk to her sister eventually. They were from different worlds, but they were still sisters. Looking at the younger girl, Buffy felt the same overwhelming love and protectiveness she had for the Dawn of her own dimension. Unfortunately, this Dawn was every bit as stubborn as her Dawn, and the girl was not going to make it easy for her. A lot of effort was in order to get into this Dawn's good graces, but Buffy didn't feel up to starting just yet. She needed more time to process everything. She'd never imagined traveling to another dimension, let alone getting stuck there. It was weird and a little bit cool, but mostly just frustrating. The people here were so similar to her friends, but everything was just a little bit off.

From inside the house, the sound of Giles arriving could be heard. He spoke to Faith about their patrol, took a look at her shoulder, and accepted a cup of poorly made tea. Finally, he stepped through the backdoor, closing it gently behind him. "Good morning, Buffy."

She nodded in recognition, sipping her juice. "Dawn tell you all about how I caused Faith to get almost eaten?"

The watcher smiled faintly. "She might have mentioned something about that, yes."

Buffy looked speculatively at him for a long moment, before deciding to say what was on her mind. "Faith… did things to me, Giles. Bad things. Things I think are unforgivable."

"Your Faith," he pointed out gently. "They're not the same person."

"Aren't they?" The slayer replied. "There are similarities there. I can't help it; I look at her and I see a person who attacked me and my family. I go into defensive mode."

Giles nodded in understanding, but he tried to reassure her, "Whatever similarities you think you see, you should know that Buffy trusted her implicitly."

"What about you?"

Giles gestured toward the porch swing, and the two sat together. He took a sip of his tea and winced at the taste. "I'll admit," he finally said, "that I had my hesitations at first. Faith was so unlike you."

"Buffy," the slayer corrected.

"Yes, of course. She was so unlike Buffy. I found her difficult to work with."

"You eventually changed your mind?"

"Yes," Giles replied emphatically. "She might not always use the methods I would prefer, but she's devoted to her calling." He looked down into his cup before finishing his thoughts. "And she was devoted to Buffy."

"Right," the blonde replied awkwardly, "the Buffy and Faith thing. Gotta say, that's really wigging me out."

Giles looked a little uncomfortable, but continued on topic nonetheless. "I take it that you never had, err, feelings for her, in your dimension?"

"Giles," Buffy said, "I'm not even gay in my dimension." Realizing how that sounded, she quickly clarified, "Or at all. In any dimension. I'm not gay. Gay free really. I have boyfriends. Not boyfriends as in plural, like at the same time—"

The watcher reached over to pat her hand, cutting off the babble fest she was engaging in. "I understand."

Relieved, Buffy nodded. "It's just all so weird."

The two sat together in comfortable silence, sipping from their drinks and thinking about the circumstances they had found themselves in. Giles gathered his thoughts for several minutes before speaking again. "I know that you and I don't really know one another," he began, "but I see a lot of the same traits in you that I saw in our Buffy. I think you're more similar than you think."

"So you think I'm going to start dating Faith?" Buffy grimaced in horror.

"No," the watcher chuckled. "I'm merely saying that you see the good in people, Buffy. I think if you give it some time, you'll see the good in her, too."

"And until that happens?"

"Pretend," he advised, completely seriously. "Dawn is still struggling to cope with your mother's passing, and with who she is and how she fits in the world. Whatever you may think of her, Faith is a big part of Dawn's life."

Buffy nodded unhappily. That much was obvious from seeing the two of them interact.

"I know it won't be easy, but I also know you will adjust," Giles said, then he hastened to add, "for however long you may be here. The Buffy I know is an extraordinary young woman, with great personal strength that I admire. I have a feeling you've got that in common as well."

Tears shining in her eyes, Buffy wrapped her arms around Giles. The watcher didn't hesitate, hugging her back quickly. Whatever the differences were between their worlds, the bond they shared seemed to be intact. There was no one Buffy trusted or relied on more than Giles, and it seemed that would stay true in this reality as well.

"Thank you," she managed to say, swallowing the lump in her throat.

"You're quite welcome."

The doorbell rang again, and Giles stood up. "I guess we'd better get started."

As she followed Giles inside, Buffy decided she would have to try harder to get along in this new world. Giles was right. Dawn needed her family intact right now, and as much as Buffy couldn't understand why, that included Faith. She was going to give this her all, really try to get along with the other slayer. She was The Slayer. She defied prophecies of her death, defeated hell gods, and managed to graduate high school. She could handle one seemingly not evil slayer. Couldn't she?

XXXXX

I know people are curious about the differences between the worlds. More on that next time! Hope you enjoyed it. :)


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: *Please do not distribute or post this story anywhere without my permission.* Thanks to cookiesarefood for her betaing skills.

FLOWERS FOR A GHOST

_She was going to give this her all, really try to get along with the other slayer. She was The Slayer. She defied prophecies of her death, defeated hell gods, and managed to graduate high school. She could handle one seemingly not evil slayer. Couldn't she?_

Chapter 3

Buffy placed her cup onto the high table and hopped easily onto the stool. She glanced around the coffee shop, pushing her hair self-consciously behind her ears.

Willow appeared a moment later, cup in hand. Her mouth gaped open slightly. "Wow," she said, staring at Buffy. "I almost didn't realize that was you."

"I know," Buffy agreed. "It's horrible."

"No!" Willow protested immediately. "It looks good! It's just a change, that's all."

"Well, this change is about to get changed back," Buffy said defiantly. "I made an appointment for later today."

Willow studied her friend across the table. Buffy continued to toy with her newly brown hair. In addition to being brown, it had also grown several inches, spilling down Buffy's back in loose waves. "What happened?" Willow asked.

"Giles's big spell about restoring the natural order of my life," Buffy answered sourly. "Apparently nature wants me to be a brunette." She grimaced and then added, "And hairy. Very hairy. See what you missed out on by skipping the a whole weekend of wacky magic hijinks?"

"I'm sorry," Willow said sincerely. "It's just that we RSVP'd to Devon's wedding months ago."

"I know," Buffy relented, picking up her cup and sipping. They were all getting burned out on the constant research with little result. Willow and Oz deserved a break. "Thank God mochas are the same here," she said, changing the subject. "I was half afraid mochas didn't exist in this reality."

Smiling, Willow replied, "I think they exist everywhere. It's one of the laws of the universe."

Buffy laughed. "You're probably right. " It felt good to be hanging out with Willow, away from the increasingly depressing group meetings. With the exception of Oz still being in the picture, the redhead was pretty similar to her other world self. "I'm glad we did this. I was starting to have Willow withdrawal."

"Me too! Well, you know, Buffy withdrawal." Willow frowned. "I can't really have withdrawal from myself." Cutting off her babbling, she asked, "How are things at home?"

Her best friend was nothing if not perceptive. Was it that obvious that things at home were troubled? Buffy had to admit, Willow hang time wasn't the only reason she'd wanted to get out of the house today. She was trying hard to live up to the promise she had made herself, and keep things civil with Faith. But it was so hard. "Not that great," she admitted.

Frowning sympathetically, the redhead said, "Oh, Buffy. I'm sure it'll get better soon."

"I hope so," the slayer replied, not feeling very convinced. "I mean, it's not all bad. I think I'm slowly working toward a point where I can stop sleeping with one eye open."

Willow chuckled. "It's still so unbelievable to me that Faith could have gone bad. I mean, she's a slayer."

"We found it kind of hard to believe at first, too," Buffy's voice was dry.

Hesitating for a moment, Willow finally said, "I know it's probably hard to talk about, but if you ever want to…"

Buffy thought about this. She knew Willow was looking for information. That was only natural, but she didn't especially want to divulge the details of what Faith had done. That meant thinking about them. Thinking about Faith was something she tried very hard not to do. "Thanks," she said, putting the matter to rest.

"Is it getting any better with Dawn?" Willow asked, thankfully moving on from the topic.

"Well, yesterday she spoke about 10 words to me. So that's an improvement over silence."

"Yikes," the redhead shook her head in sympathy. "Dawn's going to come around. She's been kind of difficult since she figured out the whole key thing. Maybe your Dawn is a little more mature than ours."

"My Dawn?" Buffy snorted. "Definitely not. She's a lot like Dawn here, actually. But there I get to pull the guardian-of-you card."

"Not so successful here, huh?"

Buffy sighed. "That's a negative."

Willow winced in sympathy, but her curiosity had been peaked. "It seems like our realities are pretty similar," she pointed out.

"I guess so."

"There's one thing I can't figure out," Willow said. "How did you beat Glory without Faith?"

"Jumped in a portal to hell, remember?" Buffy lifted a handful of her dark hair for emphasis.

"Well, yeah," Willow agreed, "but how did you even make it that far? Without Faith running interference and trying to get to Dawn, I mean."

Buffy considered the events of the last day she'd spent in her world. "Well I had you guys helping me, plus Spike."

"Spike," Willow repeated, surprised. "Really?"

"Yeah," Buffy laughed at her friend's astonishment. "I take it Spike's not holed up in a crypt somewhere local?"

"I don't know where he is. He disappeared after we took down the Initiative." Willow looked at her expectantly. "Spike was a friend there?"

Buffy considered this for a moment. She thought of Spike, enduring hours of torment from Glory, just to keep Dawn safe. _I know that I'm a monster, but you treat me like a man. _"Yes," she said at length, deciding to use the simplest explanation, "he was." Spike was obviously evil, creepy, and gross; that went without saying. It was just that he had the capability of truly good actions. He'd cared for her and Dawn, in his own way. "When you say you 'took down the Initiative…"'

Willow nodded enthusiastically. "Went in, kicked their butts, and showed them not to mess with the real slayers!" She beamed proudly. "You didn't meet them?"

"No, we did," Buffy clarified. "I worked with them for a while, but they tried to have me killed," she finished causally. "Plus they were drugging Riley and building a super monster they unleashed on the town. The government shut them down after they found out about that."

"Wait," Willow interrupted incredulously. "You worked with them?"

Buffy nodded.

Willow shook her head, totally amazed. "Here, they were mostly interested in capturing a live slayer to study. Them drugging Riley would make sense though. He seemed really nice when we first met him. By the end it was like he was a totally different person."

Buffy tried to follow the course of events. "But, if you never found out how they were drugging him, how did he get out?"

"He didn't," Willow said, again looking apologetic at breaking bad news. "I don't think he wanted to. He was Walsh's right hand. Your Riley turned against Walsh?"

"My Riley," Buffy began, her words scraping along the wound of her recent break up with him, "was good. He helped us bring them down."

Willow reached for her friend's hand. "I'm sorry, Buffy. I guess there are more differences than we thought."

Buffy nodded, trying to process all this information. Their worlds had crossed paths at a similar junction, but each had taken different roads to arrive there. Trying to put Riley out of her mind, Buffy decided to ask some questions of her own. She wanted to start small, with something she was pretty curious about. "Did you guys ever meet another wolf? A girl named Veruca?"

"Yeah," Willow replied easily. "She wasn't like Oz. She actually went out and hunted people." She shuddered. "You and Faith caught her."

"And then what happened?"

"We had another cage in the crypt Oz was using, and we put her in there. Giles figured we could talk to her when she was herself again. But she got loose. Faith was watching them that night, and she shot her with the tranq gun, but I guess wolfy adrenaline was working overtime."

Buffy waited for a conclusion to the story. "So you guys never saw her again?"

"No," Willow bit her lip thoughtfully. "Although now that I think about it… we found out about the Initiative not too long after. Maybe they captured her."

"Yikes," Buffy said, shuddering. She had no real concern for Veruca, not after what she'd done to Oz and Willow, but the slayer didn't like the idea of anyone or anything being locked up by the Initiative.

"What made you ask about her?" Willow wanted to know.

"Oh," Buffy said airily, "in my world, Oz had kind of a wolf crisis. It started around the time that she appeared."

"Is he okay?" Willow's forehead creased with concern over this other Oz.

"I think he's doing okay," Buffy couched her words. She didn't want to outright lie, but she didn't think anything good would come from telling Willow too much about what happened in her world. Quickly changing the subject, she said, "I was kind of wondering about how your Buffy and Faith… happened. I mean, I remember when Faith came to town, and it wasn't exactly sparks a'flying, you know?" _Not romantic ones, anyway._ There had been sparks, if you counted annoyance as a spark.

Willow blushed a little bit. It felt weird talking to Buffy about the other Buffy's relationship with Faith. But maybe it would help them get along if Buffy understood this world's Faith a little more… She figured it couldn't hurt to give the slayer some of the details. "I think things started happening between them right after Gwendolyn Post came to town. Did that happen for you guys too?"

Buffy nodded, thinking about the watcher who had tricked them and tried to turn Faith against her.

"She really did a number on Faith. I mean, she lied to her and made her feel like you, I mean, Buffy, sorry, didn't want her here. So when it came down to it, the two slayers ended up fighting over that glove. Buffy knew that Post was lying and trying to get the glove for herself. But Faith didn't know what to believe."

"Sort of the same in my world, go on…"

"After that, Buffy felt really horrible about everything. She went over to her place to talk and apologize, and, I'm not sure exactly what happened, but they were together after that."

"Wow," Buffy replied, trying to integrate this scenario into her memories.

"I think she already had a crush on Faith," Willow confided. "She was so upset about the fight. It just seemed like there was more there, you know?"

"Yeah." The slayer still couldn't really see why this Buffy would go for Faith. She remembered how she had felt when Post was in town. She'd been so screwed up over Angel, she hadn't known up from down. Then Faith had threatened him. Buffy had felt really bad about having to kick Faith's ass too, but when Faith wouldn't accept her apology, she'd gone back to business as usual. She had too much on her plate to worry about the other slayer all the time. "So your Buffy… she didn't try to get back together with Angel?"

Willow stared back at her, puzzled. "Huh?"

"Did he just move to LA earlier?" Buffy tried to think of an explanation for why she would have stayed away from the vampire.

"Buffy," the redhead's voice was cautious, "Angel's dead. He went evil, killed Ms. Calendar, and tried to end the world. You had to send him to hell."

"And then he came back," Buffy finished.

"No." Willow looked upset now, and Buffy couldn't blame her.

"Angel came back during our senior year," she insisted. "Right after Faith got here."

Face clearly distressed, Willow said, "I'm sorry, Buffy. That didn't happen here."

The slayer's mind was reeling. Angel had never come back. There was no Angel in this reality.

She realized dimly that Willow was saying her name. "Buffy? Buffy, are you okay?"

"I have to go," the slayer replied, ignoring the worried look on her friend's face. Without another word, she slid from her seat and walked out the door of the Espresso Pump. Her feet carried her back toward the house on Revello Drive. Not home, she wouldn't call it home. With every day, it was becoming clearer how very far away home was.

XXXXX

With the house to herself for a rare change of pace, Buffy locked herself in her room and cried until her eyes ached. She tried to console herself with the knowledge that Angel was alive and well in her own world, but somehow that didn't help. No matter how many worlds Angel was alive in, she would never be able to see him again. That knowledge hurt like she hadn't expected. It was like their break up all over again. She pressed her hands to her chest, trying to calm her breathing. She was 21 years old and had already nursed herself through more heartbreak than she cared to remember. Buffy felt like she could handle almost anything, but to lose everyone and everything she loved all in one moment was too much, even for her. The people in this reality were good people. They shared the same core personalities with her friends at home. She could trust them and rely on them, even love them. But still her heart ached. No matter how sweet and kind this Willow was, she wasn't the one who'd held Buffy in her arms while she cried. This wasn't the Giles that drove her home on one of the darkest days of her life, when Angel had lost his soul, and offered her his unwavering support and respect. This wasn't the little sister who'd cried in her arms on top of the tower, bleeding and ready to sacrifice herself for the world. These weren't her people. Her people were gone.

Downstairs, the door closed loudly. Buffy sat up in bed, quickly wiping her cheeks. She reached for the tissues on her bedside table and blew her nose. She didn't think they would try to talk to her, but she didn't want to be caught crying if they did. She could hear the sound of voices now, Faith's and Dawn's. They were chatting easily, moving through the first level of the house to the kitchen.

Moving to her door, Buffy opened it a crack so she could listen.

"How'd you do on the English test?" Faith asked, rustling through the pantry.

"A-," Dawn replied, her tone sour.

"That's great!" The slayer's voice was thrilled.

"I should have gotten an A," the teen said. "It was Romeo and Juliet. Who can't ace that test?" Buffy nodded in agreement. Even she had aced that one.

There were clinking sounds. Buffy imagined Faith was serving them both something. "You're too hard on yourself, Dawnie. You did good."

"Not good enough," the younger girl muttered.

"Hey," Faith said in a serious tone, "with all that's been going on around here? The fact that you even read the book and showed up to school is amazing."

Dawn was quiet for a long moment before she responded. "It's just that school's kind of my thing, you know? Buffy had the slaying, and I wanted something that was just mine."

A stool scraped against the floor. Faith had seated herself at the island. "I get that. B's kind of hard to compete with."

"Yeah," the younger girl agreed quietly.

Spoons scraped their bowls for a few moments before Faith cleared her throat. "Well, A- or not, you're the smartest kid I know. I'm real proud of you."

"Thanks," Dawn replied, her voice a little choked.

Pretending not to notice the younger girl's emotion, Faith said, "You gonna finish that?"

There was a clattering of spoons as Dawn tried to defend her ice cream. "Yes! Yes, I'm going to finish it!"

"Better make it quick. I'm still hungry."

"You're a pig," Dawn declared, laughing.

Buffy heard Faith oink before she closed her door. Sitting on her bed, she wrapped her arms around herself. Of all the weirdness that came with swapping worlds, the differences in Faith were the weirdest. As much as she'd looked for an ulterior motive to this Faith's actions, she was beginning to think there wasn't one. It was a big pill to swallow. Huge actually. Like horse tranquilizer size. The Faith she knew was manipulative to the core, and Buffy wouldn't have trusted her around her baby sister for a second. She was starting to think this one was different. It seemed crazy, but Buffy actually thought that this Faith loved her little sister.

Giles had said Dawn needed the stability of having Faith around right now, but Buffy hadn't realized how deep that relationship went. She had to admit, it hurt her. Dawn was hardly speaking to her, but she was willing to open up to the other slayer. Even at home, Buffy struggled to understand and get along with her sister. She wondered what kind of relationship the other Buffy had with Dawn. Was the teen open with her sister too? Or was this unique to Faith?

A gentle knock on her door startled her. "Yeah?" She called, scrambling off the bed.

Faith cracked the door, looking at her cautiously. With Buffy, she never knew what kind of response she was going to get. "Hey," she said.

"Hi," Buffy replied, trying to sound friendly. It was marginally successful.

"I'm gonna patrol early tonight," Faith told her. "Got work early in the morning."

"Okay."

"Just… if you want to come with, I mean, you're welcome to."

Buffy bristled. Who did Faith think she was, inviting her to patrol in her own town? She managed to get a hold of herself before she snapped anything back. "Okay," she agreed. "I'll come."

"Great," Faith said neutrally. "Let's go at sunset then?"

Buffy nodded in agreement, and Faith left, closing the door behind her.

If she stayed in her room any longer, Buffy knew she would only start crying again. Instead, she headed down to the kitchen, in search of fuel before going to get her hair fixed. Dawn sat at the island, school books spread in front of her.

"Hi," Buffy greeted cautiously. She was never sure how her sister would react to her.

Dawn barely looked up from her books. "Hi."

"Homework?"

The teen barely managed to suppress an eye roll. "Yup."

"What are you working on?" She leaned her elbows on the island, craning her neck toward Dawn's books.

Scowling, Dawn folded her arm over her notebook. "I'm trying to get stuff done, so is there something you want?"

A wave of impatience washed over Buffy. If Dawn mouthed off to her like this, she'd been spending the weekend on lockdown. Grounding was definitely in order for this. Refusing to let the girl bait her, Buffy took a deep breath. "I just want to talk to you."

"About what?" Dawn asked suspiciously.

"Anything," the slayer responded sincerely. "I miss my sister. I'm thinking maybe you miss yours too."

The younger girl seemed to waver for a moment before a careful look of disinterest took up residence on her face. "I do, and as soon as she gets back, I'm sure I'll talk to her."

"Dawn," Buffy began, but Dawn was already closing her books and standing up.

Shaking her head, she fled the kitchen, leaving a disappointed Buffy behind. Buffy sighed, slumping against the island. If her day so far had been any indication, patrol was sure to be a nightmare.

XXXXX

Faith watched Buffy from the corner of her eye as they battled a pair of vampires. When they were out together like this, just them and the night, covered in the dust of battle, it was so easy to forget who the other slayer really was. Buffy spun and whirled, her long, once again blonde, hair flying behind her. Faith watched the curve of her neck, the flash of grin when she got in a particularly good hit. Buffy was the picture of gracefulness, every move flawless. Faith lost herself for a moment, thinking about them going home together, touching the smooth muscles in Buffy's back, and pressing her lips to that soft neck.

"What?" Buffy asked, after staking her vamp.

Faith snapped back to reality, realizing she has been staring. "Nothing," she lied.

Buffy looked irritated, as she so often did when she was forced to interact with Faith. The brunette barely noticed, however, lost in her own sad thoughts. The more time she spent around this Buffy, the more it made her heart ache for her girlfriend. More than just a girlfriend actually, Buffy had been her partner in every sense of the word. The two were a perfect slaying team. They shared responsibilities at home, helping Joyce during her illness, and later, caring for Dawn together. Faith worked to supplement what little money Joyce had left them, and Buffy, forced to take leave from school to deal with the Glory situation, was planning to go back the following semester. Faith hadn't ever pictured herself as particularly domestic, but everything had changed for her when she'd gotten together with Buffy. She'd been sharing her life with someone. She'd been _happy_, which made it really hard not to resent this other Buffy, just for being here when the real Buffy wasn't.

"So… you work?" Buffy asked, trying to make conversation as they walked through the cemetery. She'd be just as happy not to speak to Faith, but she was determined to make good on her promise to herself.

"Uh," Faith muttered, surprised to be addressed, "yeah. I work construction. We got a project right now, turning a couple of the old factories into loft apartments."

"Industrial chic," Buffy replied without enthusiasm. "Who would wanna live in an old factory?"

"Some people I guess." Faith shrugged. She was surprised that Buffy was trying to talk to her, no matter how insignificant the topic. Curious about the world Buffy had come from, she asked, "Did the other me work? Before the whole prison thing."

"Only in the service of evil," the blonde said matter-of-factly.

"How long's she been locked away?" Faith inquired, ignoring the acid in the other slayer's tone.

Buffy was uncomfortable with this line of questioning. The last thing she wanted to talk about, or think about for that matter, was the Faith back home. She glanced at the slayer walking beside her. "About a year," she answered.

"So you must have known each other a while before that," Faith deduced. "Been friends or something before she..." She trailed off.

"Went evil and tried to kill me?" Buffy supplied helpfully. "No, not really. She was in a coma for a while before she went to jail."

"A coma?" Faith gawked. Even with the little crumbs of information Buffy doled out, she was intrigued by the other world. "How'd that happen?"

"I put her in it," Buffy snapped back, causing Faith to stop walking.

Raising her palms defensively, the brunette said, "Chill out, Buffy. I was just wondering. If you don't want to talk about it, fine."

Knowing Faith was right only irritated Buffy further, and she seized on something else that was bothering her. "Why do you keep calling me Buffy?"

Faith stared at her like she was crazy. "Because that's your name?"

"But _you_ don't call me that."

"What did she call you?" Faith asked, ignoring the fact that Buffy was referring to her and the other Faith as the same.

"B," Buffy answered. "She calls me B. I've heard you say it too, so what's with the full name thing?"

Faith looked across the cemetery, searching for any possible threats that would give her an escape from this conversation. Unfortunately, no evil was afoot. "You ready to head home?" She asked, delaying her answer.

Buffy nodded her assent, and the pair moved toward the exit. A cool breeze ruffled through her hair, and the slayer turned her face toward it. How odd that she could travel across dimensions, stand in a totally new world, and yet some things were still the same. It looked like home, smelled like home even, but it wasn't. This wasn't the cemetery she'd spent hours patrolling. They weren't even the same stars peeking through the tree canopy above her. The thought of living out her life here, with familiar strangers, was hard to wrap her mind around. She realized Faith hadn't responded to her and glanced over to her.

The dark haired woman was watching her unabashedly.

Buffy felt her cheeks go red.

Faith tore her eyes from the woman in front of her. "That was what I called her," she said, her throat dry and tight. "Doesn't feel right to use it with you."

"Oh," Buffy said, for the first time feeling a tinge of sympathy for the other slayer. The grief in Faith's face and voice were clear.

"Funny that she called you B, too," Faith pointed out, trying to move the conversation away from herself.

Buffy hadn't thought about this. What did it mean that the Faith in her world called her what was essentially a pet name between two lovers in this world? Not wanting to think about it, she said, "Faith uses nicknames for everyone."

Picking up on the defensiveness in her tone, Faith just replied with a low, "Hmmm." The two walked in uneasy silence from the graveyard and toward Revello.

As they neared home, the younger woman looked up at the big house in front of them. It was the only real home she'd ever known. Somewhere inside, was a teenager she loved fiercely. Dawn would be watching TV, or maybe talking to a friend on the phone, maybe preparing a little post-slayage snack as she sometimes did when she was feeling generous. The thought brought a wistful smile to Faith's face, which lasted only as long as it took for Buffy to step onto the bottom step of the porch, and back into Faith's line of vision.

There was the reason home felt less and less so, wrapped up in a tiny, blonde package.

At the door, Faith put her hand on the knob before Buffy could, and stood blocking the way for a moment.

Buffy looked at her expectantly.

"Maybe it would be better," Faith said hesitantly, still unsure herself, "if I stayed somewhere else while you're here."

Buffy didn't immediately reply. She was taken aback.

"Or if you we can't figure it out, and you're here for the long haul," Faith added, hating even the thought of it, but recognizing it was a possibility. "I just don't see how this is going to work. You and me… we don't know each other, and neither of us really want that to change."

"But Dawn…" Buffy protested, remembering her conversation with Giles.

"Dawn's gotta learn that you're family."

Fidgeting under Faith's stare, Buffy pondered this suggestion. Faith was handing her exactly what she wanted on a silver platter. Getting along here would definitely be easier without constantly seeing someone who was the doppelganger of one of her most lethal enemies. As an added bonus, there would be no more reminders of the apparently amazing romance between the two slayers here. She and Dawn would learn to get along. If there was no way back, maybe Willow could move in, just like at home. She'd even take Oz. The basement had plenty of room for a wolf cage.

"If you're worried about Dawn, I can tell her," Faith offered magnanimously.

And that was the bottom line, wasn't it? Faith could talk to Dawn. Faith was the one who could break bad news and not be hated. She was the one her little sister trusted and relied on most right now. Could Buffy really take that away from her? She thought of her own little sister, so fragile under her bratty exterior. That girl had lost her mom, been hunted by a bitch from hell, and found out she wasn't even real, all in the space of a year. If there was anyone who deserved stability and happiness, it was Dawn. This Dawn was stubborn and even a little mean, but she was still just a girl. A girl who obviously adored her big sister's girlfriend. Buffy didn't understand it, but she didn't have to. "You should stay," she said, before she could change her mind, "if you want to, I mean."

"Buffy," Faith began, warily.

"Dawn doesn't know me yet," Buffy told her. "We could probably use someone to buffer."

"I don't know," the brunette hedged.

"Look," Buffy said, "If it's too hard to be here, I get that. I'm just saying… don't go on my account. I'm fine with this."

Snorting, Faith shook her head.

"Okay, maybe not _fine_," Buffy admitted, "but I'm working on it."

Faith exhaled harshly, thinking it over. Buffy was looking at her with earnest eyes, clearly sincere, which was part of the problem. It was hard enough being around the blonde when she was irritable and distant. Faith didn't know how she'd handle things if the two of them actually managed to become friends. There was Dawn to consider, and her lack of other living prospects. At the very least she could admit she was being rash. They didn't have to make any decisions yet. "Okay," she agreed, "I'll stay. For now, anyway."

Buffy nodded as if she thought this was fair. "Thank you," she said, acutely aware of how weird it was to be thanking Faith for agreeing to cohabitate with her.

"Sure," Faith acknowledged, opening the front door. She gestured for Buffy to enter first. Following her inside, she closed and locked the door, wondering what she had gotten herself into by agreeing to stay.

XXXXX

More Buffy and Faith interaction to come next chapter. ;) Hope you're hanging in there with me. Thank you for reading! Reviews are always appreciated. :)

Also, I don't know how many of you also use BNF, but if you do, you know the alerts system is not working more often than not. I've started a twitter to link new fic and updates to ongoing ones. Every update to BNF will be linked there, as whatever else I come across that I like. If anyone is interested, it's FuffyFicAlerts. Thanks!


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: *Please do not distribute or post this story anywhere without my permission.* Thanks to cookiesarefood for her betaing skills.

FLOWERS FOR A GHOST

"_Sure," Faith acknowledged, opening the front door. She gestured for Buffy to enter first. Following her inside, she closed and locked the door, wondering what she had gotten herself into by agreeing to stay._

Chapter 4

Giles watched from the doorway to the training room as Faith furiously wailed on the heavy bag. Sweat soaked through the thin cotton of her shirt and plastered loose tendrils of hair to the back of her neck. She'd been sequestered in here for most of the afternoon, with a steady stream of thumps and curses leaking out through the closed door. Out in the store, Giles, Dawn, and Xander had spent the last several hours fruitlessly searching for a method of sending Buffy back to her own dimension. Anya, true to form, had declined to help, choosing to man the cash register and occasionally offer pessimistic comments on their search.

Giles hated to admit it, but he had all but lost hope. There didn't seem to be any way of safely and accurately getting Buffy back where she belonged, as well as getting their own Buffy back home. There were just too many variables at play, and he didn't see how they could possibly try to open a portal between all dimensions and have any hope of controlling it. Even if they managed to deal with the variety of hell beasts that would be released, there was no way of knowing where Buffy would end up, or who would take her place in this dimension. Giles knew their task was hopeless, but the thought of giving up, telling the kids that their Buffy was gone for good, broke his heart. Although they were all adults now, with the exception of Dawn, Giles still thought of them as the young, brave-hearted teens they'd been when he'd come to Sunnydale. There was nothing in the world he wouldn't do for them, but now he was facing something he couldn't fix. It was his worst nightmare.

Sensing Giles had been watching her for several moments, Faith brought her brutal assault on the heavy bag to an end. Wiping her forearm across her dripping forehead, she glanced at him. "Anything?"

"No, I'm afraid not," the watcher answered gently. He was worried about how Faith in particular would handle the end of their research. The others would struggle, but would eventually be able to cope. The two Buffys were not altogether different, and already Willow seemed to quite like this new Buffy. Giles found that he felt the same. It was rather like interacting with Buffy had she developed selective amnesia. Many of the core memories remained, and certainly they acted similarly, but many of the small moments that made up a relationship between two people had been lost. In Faith's case, she had lost much more than the others. Her relationship with Buffy was one that wouldn't be able to continue, at least not in the way it had been before.

"It's over, isn't it?" Faith asked, in a small, wavering voice. "There's no way back."

Giles was surprised that she had come to this conclusion on her own, but he respected her too much to perpetuate false hope. "I think it may be," he admitted.

Faith's chest heaved as she sucked in a heavy breath. For a moment, Giles thought she was going to hold herself together, and his fears had been misguided. Then her mouth opened, and a raw scream poured from her. She turned to the bag beside her, hitting and kicking it with more viciousness than he'd ever seen. Tears openly streamed down her face, and all the while the screaming continued. It was the most pitiful and simultaneously frightening thing Giles had ever seen. The others rushed from the store, crowding next to him in the doorway. He tried to catch Dawn's slim waist as she bolted past him, but he needn't have worried. Faith was fading now, sinking to her knees on the training mat, sobbing hysterically. Dawn knelt beside her, wrapping her arms around Faith's shoulders. If the tears on her face were any indication, she understood without being told what the slayer's breakdown meant.

Xander turned exhausted, pained eyes toward Giles. Before the watcher could say anything, the younger man reached for his hand, gripping it tightly. Grief was, unfortunately, one of the emotions Anya had become more familiar with in her time as a human, and she moved to Xander's side, pressing her cheek to his shoulder. The three of them stood in the doorway, a silent vigil over the devastated family on the floor.

XXXXX

It was the first night since she'd been in Sunnydale that Faith didn't go out on patrol. Buffy hadn't seemed to mind. Faith figured she was processing the news that she was definitely not returning home in her own way. They both needed space. Dawn was spending the evening with Willow and Oz, in an effort to take her mind off things. This left Faith at home, alone with her thoughts. After her breakdown earlier, she was exhausted and borderline numb. Her chest and throat ached from how long and hard she'd cried. She found herself sitting on the couch, knees pulled up to her chest, as if she were physically trying to pull herself together. The TV was on, but she wasn't paying it any attention.

When the front door opened, Faith looked up to find Buffy arriving home. The blonde looked a little worse for wear, with dirt visible on her clothing and a deep jagged cut slicing into her hairline. She stiffened slightly upon seeing Faith, but managed to form a small smile. "Hey."

Faith nodded in response. "Rough night?"

"This?" Buffy's eyebrows raised, and she winced in pain. "That's nothing. You should see the other guy."

"I bet."

"That was sarcasm," Buffy clarified, wincing further as she walked into the room. "He got away."

"Oh," Faith said, not overly interested.

Managing to sink into one of the armchairs without causing herself too much pain, Buffy let out a sigh of relief. Across from her, Faith had gone back to zoning out. Buffy studied her surreptitiously. She was surprised to find she felt sorry for the other slayer. When she and Willow had arrived at the Magic Box, it had been obvious something big had gone down. Dawn and Faith both had red-rimmed eyes, and the slayer's knuckles were split clean open. After the gang all cleared out, Giles had told her the news. If it weren't for his steady arms enfolding her, Buffy might have had her own slayer meltdown. Instead, she buried her face in his jacket, had a long cry, and managed to keep herself together.

But that didn't mean it didn't hurt. Knowing that she was doomed to remain in this dimension, separated forever from her real friends and family, was a new kind of heartbreak. She knew Giles, Dawn, Will, and Xander were devastated too, but they'd only lost one person. She'd lost her whole world. Oddly enough, the only person she thought could really understand that was Faith. It seemed like she'd lost her whole world too.

"How are you?" She ventured to ask, wincing at how stupid it sounded. She expected Faith to roll her eyes or lash out. She was surprised when the brunette only glanced at her, dark eyes practically overflowing with grief.

"Feels like my heart's been ripped out my chest," she answered honestly.

Buffy wasn't anticipating a real answer, but that was because she was still expecting this Faith to react like the slayer in her home dimension. She had to keep reminding herself they were different people. This Faith was innocent of the other slayer's crimes.

With obvious pain in her voice, Faith said quietly, "I just want her to come back."

Buffy wasn't sure how to respond. She'd never comforted someone over the loss of an alternate dimension version of herself before.

"Sorry," Faith muttered, pulling herself up straighter before the blonde had a chance to respond. "Shouldn't have said all that."

"No," Buffy reassured her, "it's okay." She reached across the space between them, tentatively placing her hand over Faith's. "I'm sorry," she said sincerely.

Faith looked at Buffy's hand on top of hers for a long moment, before she turned her palm to curl around the other woman's. "Me too," she replied, her voice quivering. Her free hand came up to cover her eyes, and Buffy could see her shoulders trembling.

The pair squeezed each other's hands, each of them wrapped up in their own private thoughts. Buffy's back and head were aching after her injuries on patrol, and she felt only moments from breaking down the way Faith was. Still, she wished there was something she could say or do that would stop Faith's body from shaking with barely contained grief. Her motives weren't entirely selfless. Buffy didn't like seeing the other woman so clearly distraught. It reminded her of the last night she'd seen her Faith, in Los Angeles. Secretly, in a tiny little corner of her mind, Buffy had been wondering about Faith since she'd arrived in this dimension. Was she okay in prison? Had Buffy done the right thing when she'd gone to LA? Did she share any responsibility for the choices the Faith had made? These weren't questions she liked to think about, but seeing this version of Faith so vulnerable brought them up. How different could people be between worlds? Everyone else here was pretty similar. Maybe this more together, less stabby Faith was hiding somewhere deep inside the girl she'd known. As quickly as these thoughts had crept up, Buffy shook her head, forcing them down. There was no sense in thinking about the other Faith now. The past was the past, and the present had enough problems of its own.

Faith was trying very hard to hold herself together. When Buffy took her hand, the connection between them rumbled gently along her spine. It was different than it had been with her Buffy, but still good, like the difference between lavender and violet. The connection between the lovers had been soft and soothing, blanketing her nerves in calm. She'd always felt Buffy there, anchoring her. The spark she felt now was more volatile. It was brighter, prone to spikes in intensity from Buffy's side, but still familiar. Confusion didn't begin to describe how she felt. Buffy was so familiar, and yet so foreign to her at the same time. As much as Faith tried to separate the two in her mind, it was really hard. She was exhausted and aching, heartbroken, and she was ashamed to find herself wishing Buffy would hold her. Faith knew she would only be fooling herself by taking comfort from Buffy, but part of her still wanted to feel those strong arms fold around her.

When Faith began to shake harder, clearly getting more upset, not less as she'd hoped, Buffy hesitated for a moment. Should she put an arm around her? Or was she only making it worse by being here? From the way Faith was still clinging to her hand, it seemed like leaving wasn't the right course of action, but the idea of hugging Faith seemed, well, insane. Holding her hand awkwardly was one thing, but a hug? Did Faith even tolerate hugs? Uncertainly, Buffy moved her sore frame from the chair over to the couch, perching next to Faith. She gently slid an arm around the brunette's shoulders, half expecting to be shoved away.

Instead, Faith's turned toward her, looping her arms around Buffy's waist immediately.

Buffy had to force herself not to push Faith off. The two slayers were uncomfortably close. Faith didn't seem concerned with their proximity. She was crying quietly, holding on to Buffy tightly, head facing over her shoulder. Buffy swallowed her discomfort, placing her other arm around Faith and gently sliding her hand up and down the brunette's back. She wondered what her friends back home would think if they could see the two of them right now. They'd probably think she'd lost her mind. She was beginning to think she had too, as the awkwardness slowly faded. She'd intended to comfort Faith like she would any totally non-murderous person, but she hadn't expected the brunette to be so receptive to it. Buffy couldn't imagine the Faith at home ever letting someone see her cry like this.

It was kind of hard to believe, but things were actually beginning to feel less weird. Buffy raised her palm, slowly stroking her hand over the other slayer's dark hair. It was silky and soft, far better cared for than she ever remembered. Apparently, living in motels and spending a year in a coma didn't do much for a girl's personal care routine. Buffy squeezed her eyes shut for a long moment. Her Faith just kept creeping back into her thoughts, no matter how many times she tried to expel her. She needed to concentrate on the now, on the Faith who was still quietly crying in her arms. This Faith was a good person, and Buffy wanted to comfort her, like she'd done with Willow through all of the redhead's sorrows.

Faith shifted slightly, and their chests felt more tightly pressed together than before. Buffy was suddenly, horrifyingly, aware of the pressure of Faith's breasts against hers. This had become a decidedly un-Willow-comforting like situation. A wave of discomfort rushed over her. Why was she even thinking about Faith's boobs? Faith's boobs touching her boobs. Faith's boobs, which had probably touched the other Buffy's boobs a million times. Oh, God, had Faith noticed how much boob touching was happening?

The more she thought about their position, the more hyper aware Buffy became of other things. Like the way Faith's hot breathing was ruffling her hair and playing across the side of her neck. Goosebumps erupted down her arms when she noted that. Goosebumps of awkwardness, she assured herself. She noticed that her hand had stilled against the small of Faith's back, and one, tiny bit of fingertip was touching exposed skin below the hem of Faith's t-shirt. Buffy's stomach clenched. That was a clench of uncomfortableness, she was sure of it. But there was no reason for it! Touching the small of someone's back was totally not intimate and not worthy of a freak out. There was no reason to act crazy, especially not now that Faith's face had turned ever so slightly toward her, and her mouth had accidentally brushed the side of her neck.

"It's going to be okay, Faith," she blurted out, needing to hear herself speak just to cut down the spiral of crazy going on in her brain.

Faith stiffened slightly. She pulled back, nodding as she left the circle of Buffy's arms. "Yeah. Thanks."

Now that the two slayers were able to look one another in the eye, Buffy felt her face grow a little warmer. "Uh," she said nervously, trying to keep her concern for Faith ahead of her discomfort, "are you okay now? I mean, if you, umm, if you need me to—"

"No," the brunette cut her off smoothly. "I'm okay."

"Okay."

"I think I just need to… lie down," Faith added, almost jumping to her feet.

Noticing Faith's cheeks seemed pink also, Buffy quickly agreed. "Yeah, me too. Gotta do something about this," she gestured to the cut on her face, trailing in to her hair.

"Oh," the other slayer murmured, looking a little closer at the cut, "right. Sorry. You should've taken care of that already." This whole time Buffy had been trying to help her while she was injured, and Faith had barely even noticed. She felt like a jerk now. "You want any help cleaning that up?" She asked, halfway hoping Buffy would say no. It wasn't that Faith didn't want to help her. She appreciated the blonde extending the proverbial olive branch to her tonight. The issue was what had happened on the couch. It had felt so good being held by Buffy. Faith hadn't intended for it to happen, but she'd found herself moving in a little closer, pressing a little tighter against the other slayer. She was embarrassed and wracked with guilt. All she wanted to do was escape to her bedroom, away from Buffy's flushed cheeks and twitchy posture.

"Thanks," Buffy answered sincerely, "but I can handle it."

"Right," Faith said, relieved. "I guess I'll see you in the morning then."

"Yep," the blonde agreed. "Goodnight, Faith."

"Goodnight," Faith responded, watching as Buffy left the living room. After a moment, she headed upstairs, prepared for another night of sleeping alone.

XXXXX

Faith stood in front of the mirror in her bedroom, looking herself over carefully. Her hair was utterly disheveled from patrol, but otherwise, she thought she was presentable. She had changed into yoga pants and a tank top, trying to look more relaxed than she felt. Downstairs, Buffy was waiting for her. Things were still awkward between them, but it was more of a benign awkwardness—the way you felt when you were hanging out with someone you'd just met. Buffy had suggested they hang out after patrol tonight and try to get to know one another better. Faith didn't know why she felt so nervous about it, but she did.

It had been a few days since Giles had confirmed her worst fears, and in that time, the slayers had only really seen each other for patrol. Faith hadn't been avoiding the other slayer per se, but she hadn't felt any great need to see her either. She was still embarrassed about how she'd broken down in front of Buffy. On top of that, she was experiencing some serious guilt. How would her Buffy feel if she knew that Faith was cuddling up to her doppelganger?

Trying to quell her nerves, Faith left her room, padding downstairs on bare feet. Buffy was in the kitchen, heating up some leftovers from dinner. "I thought we could use a snack," she said, as Faith entered the room.

The brunette nodded in agreement, slipping in to a stool at the island.

Buffy had obviously spruced up too. Her hair was hanging down her back, free of tangles and detritus from patrol. She'd changed her clothes, and even appeared to have freshened her lip-gloss. "You want a beer?" She offered, mostly for something to say.

"Sure," Faith agreed, "thanks." As Buffy moved to the refrigerator, Faith slid from her stool and circled the island, intending to get the bottle opener out. As she opened the drawer it was in, Buffy turned back, bottles in hand, and smacked into her.

"Sorry," she said, as Faith reached out to steady her.

"S'okay," Faith muttered back, still gripping her arms. The pair stood for a moment staring at one another before Faith dropped her hands as if she'd been burnt.

Cheeks flushing, Buffy handed her a bottle. Why did she feel like such a spaz whenever Faith touched her?

Faith opened both their bottles and then leaned casually against the island. "So…" She fiddled with the label on the bottle. "This is weird."

That proved to be the icebreaker they needed. Buffy laughed and agreed, "Yeah, it is."

"How do we make it unweird?"

The timer on the oven beeped, signaling their food was done. "Stuff our faces to avoid talking?" Buffy suggested, sliding oven mitts over her hands.

"I can get behind that."

Buffy pulled out their plates, and the two sat down across from one another. In spite of their agreement to avoid talking, the blonde thought she'd better at least try to converse. "How was work?" She asked, between bites.

"Good," Faith answered, glad that they weren't going to eat in silence after all. "I'm starting to get the appeal of the whole industrial thing. The lofts look pretty cool." She glanced across at Buffy, trying not to let her eyes linger too long. "What about you, what have you been up to?"

"Will's been helping me search the web for jobs," Buffy sighed. "Would you believe being a vampire slayer doesn't qualify you for that many jobs?"

Faith was surprised. "What about school?" She asked, waiting for the other woman to finish sipping her drink. Without any conscious decision on her part, Faith's eyes lit upon a tiny bead of perspiration rolling down the side of Buffy's neck. She watched it migrate slowly across the blonde's collarbone, before dipping into the barest hint of cleavage Buffy's shirt revealed, and disappearing beneath the black cotton.

"Faith?" Buffy asked, snapping the brunette out of her daze.

"Huh?"

Blushing, Buffy repeated herself, "I said, I need some income." There was no way she could have missed the way Faith's eyes had traveled over her throat and down her chest.

"Why?" Faith asked, clearly dumfounded.

"I can't let you keep paying for everything here," Buffy pointed out.

"I'm not," Faith protested. "You've got some money from your mom."

"Yeah, but that can't be enough to keep us afloat."

Faith thought for a moment. Buffy was right; the money from her mother wasn't enough to keep up with the bills and still feed them. "Well, you own the house though, and you're letting me live here. I'm paying you rent."

"Okay," Buffy agreed, "but how long are you going to be here?"

Faith bristled. "If you want me to go, just—"

"That's not what I mean," the blonde cut in. "I'm saying you might not always want to live here. What if you meet someone, or something?"

The idea alone made Faith grimace.

"I'm sorry," Buffy said, immediately realizing the error of her words.

"Look, even if I met someone, and that would be a long way off, I'm not gonna move in with them immediately and just forget all about you and Dawnie. You guys are… I mean, Dawn is…"

"I know," Buffy answered gently, reaching across the table to touch Faith's arm. She squeezed it lightly, trying to calm the other slayer, who was visibly upset now. "Forget I said it."

Faith stared at the small hand resting on her forearm for a moment, before nodding tightly.

"Let's start over, okay?" Buffy suggested, taking her hand back. With exaggerated pep she said, "Hi, Faith, good to see you again right after patrol."

"You're a nut," Faith remarked, finally beginning to smile again.

"Well, this nut could use another beer, if you wouldn't mind," Buffy jiggled her empty bottle in Faith's direction.

Faith swiveled on her stool, taking two more beers from the fridge. Popping their caps off, she handed one to Buffy. "You feel like getting some air?"

"Sure," Buffy said, following the other slayer out to the front porch. Faith took a seat on the porch swing, and the blonde quickly joined her. "Cheers," she offered, holding her bottle out to clink with Faith's.

Determined to make up for her earlier gaff, Buffy began the conversation by talking about more innocuous topics, like movies they both liked and Faith's apparently deep and abiding love for college softball. They polished off several more drinks while they talked, and by the time there was a lull in the conversation, Buffy felt a little tipsy.

The two slayers sat on the swing together, their shoulders touching lightly. Faith swirled the last of her beer around, before lifting the bottle to her lips and drinking it down. Finished, she let out a burp with gusto.

"Charming," Buffy said dryly.

Faith merely shrugged, but she did look a little sheepish. She pushed her feet against the floor of the porch, gently swinging the two of them back and forth. "Nice night," she muttered, when the silence started to make her antsy.

Buffy nodded in agreement, gazing out into the quiet street in front of the house. It was a nice night. She felt strangely at peace, rocking back and forth on the swing with Faith. "This is nice," she said, "sitting here, talking."

"You're not even packing any weapons," Faith agreed dryly.

The blonde didn't bother to deny the fact that she'd been, what some might call, paranoid about being around Faith. Buffy preferred to think of it as cautious. She shrugged.

"Can I ask you something?" Faith ventured, deciding to capitalize on Buffy's good mood.

Buffy gave her a guarded nod, hoping the question wouldn't be too probing.

"What'd she do to make you hate her so much?"

Okay then. Faith was definitely playing hardball. "I told you, she went evil, aligned herself with the Mayor, and wanted to kill me." She glanced at Faith. "Isn't that enough?"

Faith watched her with eyes that were a bit too knowledgeable for Buffy's tastes. Finally, she shook her head. "If you're not ready to tell me, I can wait."

"I did tell you!" Buffy protested.

"Plenty of people have tried to kill you, Buffy," the brunette pointed out. "It comes with the gig. You tend not to take it too personal."

Not liking the way Faith's eyes bored into her, Buffy looked away, out across the yard again.

"What I wanna know is, what did she do that got under your skin so much?"

Buffy gnawed her lower lip for a minute, ignoring the question. Faith wondered if she'd gone too far. In the short time she had known this slayer, Buffy had proven that she was quick to anger, at least when it came to Faith. One night of a little more comfortable hanging out probably hadn't changed too much. She was about to back off and apologize for bringing it up, when Buffy answered her.

"It _was_ personal," she said, "with her. Somebody tries to end the world like every six months, and they have to try to kill me to do it. I'm used to that. But Faith… she wanted to hurt me." She shook her head sadly. "All the years I've been doing this, and nobody has ever made me the victim, except her."

Faith was studying her as she spoke, trying to read between the lines of what Buffy was saying. "You cared about her," she said quietly.

Buffy blinked, surprised to find her eyes were welling with tears. "I wanted to save her," she admitted. "I tried so hard, and she just…" Her voice trailed off.

Not knowing what to say, Faith looked away, giving Buffy a moment to collect herself.

When Buffy spoke again, her voice was very quiet. "Sometimes I wonder if I tried hard enough." She looked at Faith, her eyes clearly pained. "She can't have been all bad; look at you."

Faith shook her head. "You can't blame yourself, B." She flinched, and then immediately added, "Buffy. Everybody makes their own choices."

Hearing Faith absolve her of responsibility should have made Buffy feel better, but it didn't. "Maybe I made the wrong ones."

"We all do, sometimes."

Buffy took a deep breath before finally telling Faith the thing that weighed most heavily on her mind. "I stabbed her. She poisoned Angel, and the only cure was slayer's blood. I, "she cut off, swallowing hard before continuing, "I went to her apartment to kill her. So Angel could feed on her."

If Faith was disgusted by this revelation, she didn't show it.

"So now you know," Buffy said quietly.

Faith considered this for a moment. "Probably not the best way to convince somebody to defect from the dark side," she said lightly.

Laughing weakly, Buffy agreed. "I know."

Taking a more serious tone, the brunette said, "Not saying you didn't make mistakes. Sounds like you both did. But she's living with hers, and you'll have to live with yours. That's all you can do."

Buffy nodded. Faith was right, but that didn't make it any easier to do.

XXXXX

Long after Faith had gone to sleep, Buffy laid alone in her room, thinking about their conversation. She'd never admitted her guilt about Faith to anyone before. Who could have predicted that interdimensional travel would be therapeutic? Although it was a relief to finally face those feelings, Buffy was still stuck tossing and turning in bed. She made a mental note not to have any more psychological breakthroughs immediately before bed. Resigning herself to her insomnia, the slayer sat up and switched on her bedside light. If she couldn't sleep, she would at least be productive.

Bags of new clothing sat on the floor, waiting to be unpacked and put away. In order to do that, she'd have to tackle the dresser, clearing it of all the other Buffy's clothes. Climbing out of bed, she padded over to the dresser and started the task. She felt like a pervert, rifling through the layers of lacy lingerie this world's Buffy had a penchant for. It certainly wasn't Buffy's style. She was more in to cute undies suitable for butt kicking, but then again, she didn't have a girlfriend to impress.

Opening one of her recently emptied shopping bags, Buffy scooped several handfuls of undergarments out and placed them in the bag. The next drawer held tops, some of which Buffy would have worn, but she felt awkward sharing the other Buffy's clothes. She wanted to start fresh. She continued through the drawers until she reached the bottom one, which contained some clothing she recognized as being old. Emptying the contents, Buffy ran her hand through the drawer to make sure nothing had been left behind.

Her fingers bumped something hard, and she slid it free. In her hand was a small book, bound in well-worn leather. Curious, Buffy flipped it open. The book was only partially filled with handwriting that looked exactly like her own. She flicked the cover shut immediately. It was a journal. She placed the book in the bag of clothes, intent to just store it away.

As she unpacked her new clothes, the slayer's eyes periodically drifted back to the small book. The temptation was unbearable. She told herself she should respect the other Buffy's privacy. It wasn't really an invasion of privacy, was it? They were practically the same person, other than this whole relationship with Faith. Realizing that there would probably be details about their relationship made Buffy drop the clothing she was carrying, and grab the journal from the bed. Just a little peek couldn't hurt.

Flipping it open to the first entry, dated November 18, 1998, she began to read.

_I fought Faith last night. I hated doing it, but we had to stop Mrs. Post from getting the glove. Faith acted like she understood, but I could tell she was still upset when she went home last night. So today, I went over to her place to see if we could talk. _

_I wanted to cry when I saw the bruises on her face. Faith's not really big on the emotional displays, and I knew that would probably freak her out, so I tried to play it cool. I told her I was really sorry, and I hoped she knew she could trust me. I don't know what I expected her to do, but she gave me her typical 'we're five by five, B' stuff and I just lost it. I was mad, and I asked her why she's always pushing everyone away. She said I was the one who didn't want her here, and I pushed her away all the time._

_We were both yelling, but that shut me up. I didn't know what to say. I mean, I've been trying to keep distance between us, but that's only because I didn't want her to be weirded out if she figured out how I feel about her. I'm still wigged about it, and I'm the one with the huge crush. I know Faith's not exactly relationship-girl. I've heard enough of her stories to get it. So I've been trying to act like I'm not in to her, and instead now she thought I hated having her around. _

_I told her the truth. There was rambling. I've pretty much decided to repress the memory of my 8 million minute ramble, but the point is I told her that I was attracted to her, and I knew she didn't think like that about me, so I was trying to keep some space between us, so she wouldn't be uncomfortable. She stared at me for a minute like I was crazy, and then she actually laughed. I really wanted to cry then. She got up from her bed, walked over to me and she said, 'B, are you blind?' Then she grabbed me, and kissed me. Faith kissed me! _

_She's an amazing kisser. I never wanted it to end. We stayed in her room all day, lying in her bed and talking. I kept touching her—it was like I couldn't stop. I couldn't believe I was getting to do it! She said she liked me too, well, actually, she said she __wanted__ me. I'm pretty sure she heard my heart start racing when she said that. Stupid slayer senses. I think I smiled the whole time I was with her. I would feel like such an idiot except she seemed really happy too. I've never seen Faith smile that much. _

_Will said I should be careful because Faith and I will still have to slay together if it doesn't work out. I know that's good advice, but I have a really good feeling about this. After all my un-luck in love, I think the love gods owe me this one. I'm going to go get ready for patrol now. I can't wait to see her! _

That was the end of the entry, and Buffy's curiosity was nowhere near sated. Turning the page, she began to read the next one.

XXXXX

The sun was just peeking over the top of their house, to reach the backyard, when Faith sat back on her haunches, dusting her palms off. The large Lavender plant was packed gently down with fresh soil. Sitting right beside it was a flat, circular stone. To the passerby it looked like only a stone, but the bottom was marked with a small, carefully painted 'B.' Buffy had loved the smell of fresh Lavender, and the delicate but wild stalks with their fuzzy purple blooms. It was impossible to have a grave for her—not with her exact duplicate walking around town. Faith needed to mark the loss with something tangible, something she could look at when she needed to remember that Buffy, her Buffy, had lived here and was gone. Faith wasn't much for ceremony, and none of the words she thought of sounded quite right. Instead, she patted the soil smooth one more time, and climbed to her feet. She needed to get ready for work.

Buffy knocked on the doorjamb to Faith's room, shortly after she'd showered and finished dressing for work. She waited for a nod from the other slayer before she entered. She'd decided that Faith should really have the other Buffy's diary. It might make her happy to have a reminder of how much Buffy adored her. "Hey," she greeted.

"Hey, what's up?" Faith asked. She was sitting on her bed, lacing up her boots.

"Uh, I found this." The blonde held up the book for Faith to see. "It's Buffy's journal. I thought maybe you'd like to have—"

Before she had finished her sentence, Faith jumped up, practically snatching the journal from her hands. Unconsciously, Buffy's muscles tensed for an attack.

"Did you read this?" The brunette demanded, holding the journal protectively against her chest.

Buffy hesitated before responding. "Only a little. I wanted to see—"

"You had no right to read it!" Faith's voice practically exploded from her body, and the blonde took an involuntary step back.

She had no idea why Faith was so bent out of shape about this. It wasn't like she'd read _Faith's_ journal! Plus she thought they had made some progress the night before, and they were becoming friends now. "I'm sorry," Buffy replied, although she didn't feel particularly sorry. "I just wanted to see what she was like."

Faith's shoulders shook from the effort of keeping herself together. "You mean what it was like between her and me."

Knowing she was busted, Buffy nodded. "I guess," she admitted. "I was curious." She took a step out the bedroom door, not in the mood to fight with the other slayer. She didn't see what she'd done that was so wrong. After all she _was_ Buffy, and this was her life now. It seemed only fair to know more about the other Buffy.

From behind her, Faith said in a bitter voice, "You don't get to be curious about it."

"What?" Buffy looked back.

Faith held the book up. "This; us; me and her; this is none of your business."

"Okay," Buffy was taken aback by the emotion in the other slayer's voice.

"You're living in her life, but you are _not_ her," Faith's eyes bored into hers, brimming with anger. "Don't you ever forget that."

Before she could respond, Faith stepped forward and slammed her door closed, leaving Buffy alone in the hall.

XXXXX

What did you think? Would you have read the diary? :) Thanks for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: *Please do not distribute or post this story anywhere without my permission.* Thanks to cookiesarefood for her betaing skills.

FLOWERS FOR A GHOST

"_You're living in her life, but you are not her," Faith's eyes bored into hers, brimming with anger. "Don't you ever forget that." _

_Before she could respond, the other slayer stepped forward and slammed her door closed, leaving Buffy alone in the hall. _

Chapter 5

Dawn stared out the car window at the passing scenery. She'd spent the day at the Magic Box, stocking the shelves and manning the register whenever Anya released her death grip on the counter for a few minutes. Knowing that Dawn needed some space from the adjustments at home, Giles had generously offered her a part time job for the summer. She had eagerly leapt at his offer. Even after having been at work for the last several hours, she was dreading going home. Faith tried to put on a good show for her, but it was obvious how deeply she was grieving. Buffy was probably just as sad, but Dawn didn't know for sure since she was still avoiding her like the plague.

Giles pulled the car to a stop as they arrived at her house.

"Can I work again tomorrow?" Dawn asked, eyeing her home with little enthusiasm. Faith's ancient Jetta wasn't in the driveway behind the Jeep that had once belonged to her mother, so that meant Buffy would be inside alone.

"You know, you don't have to work every day," Giles remarked. "You should enjoy your break from school."

Dawn shrugged, looking down at her lap.

Giles understood exactly why the young girl wanted to spend so much time working, so he relented. "We can always use your help, Dawn. No matter what Anya may say."

Dawn smirked. "The only time she lets me near the register is when she and Xander go downstairs to—" She quickly cut herself off, realizing who she was talking to.

"Go downstairs to what?" The watcher asked, narrowing his eyes. He had an unpleasant feeling that he knew what she'd been about to say.

"Catalog new shipments!" Dawn finished quickly. With a too bright grin, she opened her door. "See you in the morning, Giles! I'll ask Faith to drop me off!" She left Giles forming new frown lines and darted up the walkway to the house.

As she opened the door, the sound of quiet crying was immediately apparent. The noise was coming from the kitchen. Knowing it had to be Buffy, Dawn was reluctant to head for the kitchen, but she couldn't quite manage to ignore her not-sister's distress and go upstairs to her room. Sighing, she closed the front door behind her and dropped her purse on the table. She made her way to the kitchen.

Buffy's back was to the door, and she was sniffling now, obviously trying to control her crying. The island between them was in disarray, strewn with discarded cooking utensils and bits of food. A charred thing that might once have been pot roast sat smoking on a trivet.

"Buffy?" Dawn asked gently.

"Hi," Buffy replied, without turning around. "How was work?" Her voice was thick, and she punctuated her question with a loud sniffle.

Rather than answer, the younger girl drifted a little closer. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, Dawnie, I'm fine."

Ordinarily she would have bristled to be called this pet name by her not quite sister, but this time Dawn let it slide. Closing the distance between them, she leaned against the counter so she could see Buffy's face. "What happened?" She asked.

Buffy tried to smile, but fresh tears leaked down her cheeks. "I burned dinner."

Dawn glanced at the ruined food on the island. "Umm, we can order pizza. Don't worry about it."

"No, I just," Buffy hiccupped, cutting herself off. "I was trying to make something special, and I ruined it."

"Well, I know, but—"

Buffy continued right on as if she hadn't been interrupted. "Faith and I had another argument. You barely speak to me, and I just…" she dissolved into a sob before she could finish her thought. Bending at the waist, she leaned on the counter and rested her head on her hands.

Dawn could feel her stony façade breaking down. Seeing this Buffy cry was just as bad as seeing her real sister lose it. Reaching out slowly, Dawn put her hand on Buffy's back. "You just what?" She asked.

From behind her hands, Buffy answered, "I just wanted to make dinner tonight and feel normal, or as close to normal as it can be anyway."

Dawn rubbed her back gently, thinking about what normal would be. For her it was her mom's home cooked meals, with Buffy and Faith seated at the table with them, all of them joking and talking. For Buffy she guessed it was pretty similar, only without Faith.

"I'm sorry," Buffy said, finally pulling herself together. She wiped her tears away and tried to force a smile. "I'm being stupid."

"You're not stupid," Dawn told her quietly. She glanced around the messy kitchen. "Let's start over. I'll help you cook."

Buffy looked surprised by the offer, but she quickly agreed.

"Okay," Dawn said, moving to wash her hands. "First, toss that in the trash." She wiggled her elbow toward Buffy's pot roast.

The slayer picked up the burnt pan. "Do you think any of it is salvageable?"

"No," Dawn told her frankly. "It looks like tar."

The blonde's face was wounded. "It's not that bad."

"There's probably a wooly mammoth trapped in it," Dawn scoffed. "Chuck it; it's dead."

Frowning sadly, Buffy did as instructed. "So where do we start?"

Together, the two cleared the countertop of debris. Dawn put Buffy in charge of chopping a salad, a task she was pretty sure the slayer could accomplish without ruining their dinner again. Poking around in the fridge, she produced some chicken breasts. As she began to prepare them, she glanced at Buffy. "What did you guys fight about?"

Buffy's cheeks immediately flushed. She wondered whether to tell Dawn, knowing that she could lose the fragile peace that had settled between them. "I read Buffy's journal," she confessed, deciding to go with the truth.

Dawn's attention remained on the chicken as she placed the pieces in the baking dish. Finally, she slipped the dish into the oven and looked at Buffy. "I've read it, too," she said.

"Dawn!" Buffy was shocked.

"What?" The younger girl shrugged. "I'm a little sister. It goes with the territory."

"How long have you been reading my—I mean _her_—journals?"

"Pretty much since I could read."

"Oh, my God!"

"'Angel is so dreamy,'" Dawn said in a breathy voice, clasping her palms together and fluttering her eyelashes.

"I never sounded like that," Buffy protested.

"Did so," the brunette said matter-of-factly.

"Maybe your Buffy did, but not me! I am so much cooler than that!"

"I'm sure you are," her sister agreed, clearly patronizing her. Setting a pan on the stove, Dawn drizzled a little oil in it and flicked on the burner. "You can see why Faith would be upset about that, right?"

Buffy dumped her newly chopped lettuce in the salad bowl. "I can now, I guess."

"You totally invaded her privacy. Buffy's journal is like a gush-a-thon about Faith."

Giving her a pointed look, Buffy said, "Thank you, Pot. Kettle got the memo, courtesy of Faith's door in my face."

"Can you chop this?" Dawn tossed a head of garlic in Buffy's direction. As the slayer caught it, she said, "She'll cool down."

"I hope so," Buffy replied. She began peeling the garlic. "Thanks for listening," she said, keeping her voice carefully light. Dawn was acting uncharacteristically understanding, and Buffy didn't want to point that out in case she'd stop.

Dawn didn't acknowledge her thanks, but neither did she go back to ignoring Buffy. Instead, she launched into a detailed explanation of how insufferable Anya was to work with.

Over the sound of her sister's chatter, Buffy heard the sound of tires crunching over pavement outside. Faith was home.

XXXXX

She was covered in sawdust and dirt when she climbed out of her little car. She loved her job. The labor was strenuous enough to work out some of her excess energy, and there was something that made her feel so accomplished about building things. It was good to know that all her power wasn't for destruction. She could create, too. Pausing at the front door, she unlaced her work boots and toed them off. Placing them neatly to the side of the door, she unlocked the door and let herself inside. She was surprised to hear Buffy and Dawn in the kitchen, actually speaking to one another for once. Not wanting to face the other slayer, Faith gently closed the front door and walked soundlessly upstairs to her room. She was tugging her shirt up over her head when a soft knock sounded on her door. "Yeah?"

"Hey," Buffy said, as she opened the door. She immediately flushed when she noticed Faith's state of undress.

Unconcerned, the brunette tossed her soiled shirt into the hamper and tugged the tie that was holding her hair back loose. "You need something?" She asked bluntly, when Buffy still hadn't said anything.

"Uh," the other slayer muttered, "yeah. Dinner's almost ready, if you're hungry." She fidgeted in the doorway.

Faith's eyes barely flicked toward her. "Thanks."

"Sure," Buffy replied, trying not to be irritated at Faith's obvious attempt to blow her off.

"You need something else?"

Buffy was tempted to say she didn't. After all, Faith certainly wasn't doing anything to smooth things over between them. She knew that someone had to give first, and given that she'd, in Dawn's words, majorly invaded Faith's privacy, she figured that someone should be her. Taking a deep breath, she said something that didn't come easy to her, at least not when Faith was involved. "I'm sorry."

Now, Faith did look over at her.

"I had no right to look at her journal. I knew there were private things," Buffy blushed fiercely as she remembered those things, "about her, and about you, in it. I'm really sorry." Having said her piece, the blonde looked at the other slayer, hoping Faith would accept her apology.

Faith stared at her for a beat. She wanted to hold on to her anger. Anger was definitely a better emotion to have than attraction to the blonde slayer. Plus Buffy's actions had been really invasive. She probably didn't deserve to be forgiven quickly. Faith could see what it took for the other slayer to come and apologize, though. The Buffy who had arrived here several weeks before would not even have thought of apologizing to Faith. She wouldn't have cared. Knowing all this, Faith felt her anger begin to subside. "I'm gonna jump in the shower," she said, relenting. "Then I'll come down to help with dinner."

"Oh," Buffy said, surprised to see her apology seemed to be accepted, "okay." It seemed that whatever differences existed between the Faith in this world and the Faith back home, neither of them were very much for talking about their feelings. She put her hand on the knob, prepared to leave. Glancing back at Faith again, she risked a question. "Are we... okay?"

Managing a small smile, Faith nodded. "We're five by five."

XXXXX

In spite of the rocky start, the three of them sharing a meal went better than Buffy had hoped. Thanks to Dawn's involvement, the food was edible. The teen had beaten a hasty retreat from the kitchen as soon as dinner was over, pleading summer schoolwork.

"Homework," Buffy muttered, up to her elbows in greasy dishwater. "Who does she think she's kidding? She just didn't want to help clean up."

"Well, she did cook the whole thing," Faith pointed out, happily dumping some more dishes into the sink. Water sloshed up over the side, seeping in to Buffy's shirt.

Frowning sadly at her now disgusting shirt, the blonde protested, "Hey! I chopped stuff!"

"Mhmm," the other slayer hummed agreeably, as she finished clearing the table.

"How do you know I didn't cook the whole thing?"

Faith came to stand beside her, crossing her arms with a smirk. "My B couldn't boil water without nearly burning the house down. I'm betting you didn't exactly get the gourmet gene."

"Hmmph," Buffy pouted, not bothering to lie about her cooking skills.

Faith's eyes were drawn to Buffy's jutting lip before she could stop them. On some women, pouting like a little kid would be unattractive. When Buffy did it, Faith wanted to kiss her so much it made her stomach ache. "Anyway," she said, looking away quickly, "I'm helping you, in spite of the fact that I worked all day." Her tone was long suffering, but teasing.

Buffy smirked. "Tomorrow, I'll make sure to greet you with your slippers."

Faith nodded her head. "You do that," she answered, unconsciously leaning closer to Buffy.

The look she got back was pure sass. "Would you like me to rub your feet, too?" Buffy asked, taking her hands from the sink and turning toward Faith.

"Might be nice," the brunette agreed. She leaned her hip against the counter, which propelled her upper body further in to Buffy's space.

"Oh really?" Buffy said, in a dangerous voice.

"Well, you know what I always say about slaying," Faith drawled. Her gaze dropped suggestively, eyes centering on Buffy's mouth.

The blonde flushed. Strangely, she wasn't tempted to move away, in spite of the fact that the two were now standing much closer than was necessary. "What's that?" She asked, although she was all too familiar with Faith's theories on how slaying affected one's appetites.

Faith detected a slight hitch in the other slayer's breathing and looked up from her mouth. Buffy was staring back at her, waiting on a response. "It makes your feet hurt," she said, giving herself a mental slap. What the hell was she doing? Flirting with Buffy? Jesus.

Buffy laughed, flicking her dripping hands at the other woman. "Get a massage then," she said.

"Maybe I will," Faith agreed, all teasing gone from her voice. She took a step back, putting some space between them. "You need any more help?"

"No," Buffy said, confused by Faith's quick change in attitude. "I'm okay."

"Great," Faith said, pushing herself away from the counter. "I'm gonna grab my stuff for patrol. Xander called, said something about stopping by before we head out."

"Okay." Buffy watched as the brunette quickly darted from the room. What the heck was that all about? They'd been playing around, getting the kitchen cleaned up, when Faith suddenly went cold. Absentmindedly washing the dishes, Buffy replayed the scene in her mind. Faith was joking, leaning in close to her, being her usual sarcastic self. Remembering the way Faith had looked at her brought some heat to her cheeks.

"Buffy?" Dawn called, interrupting her thoughts.

Buffy looked up as she placed the last plate in the dishwasher. "What's up?" She asked.

"Willow's here."

Buffy rinsed her hands and turned off the tap. "Are we having a Scooby meeting I don't know about?" She asked. Xander was on his way over and now Willow?

Dawn shrugged. "Like anyone would tell me."

After drying her hands off, Buffy headed for the living room. The doorbell rang just as she made it to the hall, and Buffy opened it, expecting to see Xander. Instead, Giles gave her a small smile.

"Come on in," Buffy gestured, stepping aside. "Why am I beginning to feel like you guys are having some sort of intervention?"

Giles shook his head. "Xander asked me to meet him here. I assumed you knew what was going on."

"Same with me," Willow said, joining them in the hall. "Do you think everything's okay?"

Faith came bounding down the stairs, joining the rapidly growing crowd in the foyer. "He sounded okay when I talked to him."

A knock sounded on the door, and Dawn swung it open. Xander and Anya came in. "Party in the foyer?" Xander asked, rather than greeting them. "Did you guys get tired of actually being able to sit down?"

"We're all just wondering what's with the cloak and dagger," Faith said, extending her arm behind Xander on one side and Buffy on the other. She stepped forward, herding everyone to the living room. As they all took a seat, their eyes turned to Xander and Anya, who remained standing.

Xander looked nervous to be the center of attention. Anya caught his hand, and he glanced at her, a small smile instantly crossing his mouth. When he looked back at them, Xander grinned confidently. "Anya and I… we're getting married!"

"We're engaged!" Anya added, quickly thrusting her hand forward to display the beautiful ring on her finger.

"Oh, my God!" Dawn squealed.

A round of congratulations sounded. Willow practically bowled Xander over as she leapt to her feet and hugged him. "Wow!" She cried. "You, and, and," she looked at Anya, "you! Married!"

Anya's grin lit up the room. "Married," she repeated. "And we want all of you to come to our wedding and bring us many gifts." She looked at Buffy happily. "I'm told I can go to the store, add anything I want to a list, and our friends will have to purchase it for us."

"A bridal registry," Buffy said dryly. "And you do know we don't have to get you _everything_ on the list?"

"What?" Anya asked with a frown.

Her question was lost as Buffy and Dawn joined Willow in squeezing all air out of the newly engaged couple.

"Can I try on your ring?" Dawn asked.

"When's the date?" Buffy wanted to know.

"You! Married!" Willow crowed, still stuck on this point.

Showing some restraint, Giles merely smiled happily at the group from his perch on the couch. Next to him, Faith was grinning too. Knowing her as well as he did, Giles detected a slight strain in her smile. He didn't need to ask what was wrong. He knew from personal experience how difficult it was to see a happy couple after you'd lost the one you loved. Reaching toward her, Giles briefly laid his hand on Faith's forearm.

"I'm fine," she told him automatically. In fact, she was far from it. Her throat was burning from the effort of not breaking out into sobs. She was happy for Xander and Anya, really, she was. It just reminded her of the opportunities she no longer had with Buffy. She and Buffy hadn't really talked marriage; they'd thought they had time. Faith could say without a shadow of a doubt that they would have gotten there eventually.

Giles gave her another pat, before releasing her arm. "I know you are."

Eager to get away from Giles's all too knowing gaze, Faith climbed to her feet. "Who wants a beer? We need a toast!"

The group agreed, still bubbling with questions, and followed Faith toward the kitchen. The brunette opened each bottle and passed them around the group. "To Xander and Anya," she said warmly, raising her bottle.

"To Xander and Anya," they all repeated.

"We'll have to have another party for you," Dawn suggested. "We didn't get to decorate or anything."

"Will," Buffy asked, "can't you whip up something?"

"Huh?" The redhead asked.

"You know, some witchy decorations?" Buffy wiggled her nose, imitating Samantha from Bewitched.

"Floating pencils doesn't exactly scream 'Engagement,'" Anya pointed out.

Willow and Buffy stared at one another in confusion for a moment, before the redhead's eyes widened. "Your Willow, she's good with magic?"

Realizing the issue, Buffy nodded sadly. "You're not in to it?"

"I am!" Willow clarified, "I am, but sometimes things…"

"Go boom," Xander supplied, grimacing.

"Oh," Buffy said. Everyone was standing in silence now, and Buffy knew why. It was easy to forget, day to day, that she was not their Buffy, and they were not her friends. Her bringing up Willow's magical abilities had reminded everyone of the truth. She felt her face go hot, and for no reason at all, she thought she might cry.

"So, we'll have a shindig next weekend," Faith offered, getting the conversation going again. "And Xand, we need to be talking Bachelor party."

"Xander's not having a bachelor party!" Anya protested.

The group erupted once more into discussion. Satisfied that she had resolved some of the tension, Faith made a beeline for Buffy. "You okay?" She asked, quietly enough that no one else could hear.

Buffy nodded, knowing that the other slayer understood why she was upset. "Yeah," she said. "You?"

Faith considered lying, but in the end, she gave a small shake of her head.

Behind the island, where no one else could see, Buffy reached out and squeezed Faith's hand.

XXXXX

What did you think? :) Thanks for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: *Please do not distribute or post this story anywhere without my permission.* Thanks to cookiesarefood for her betaing skills.

FLOWERS FOR A GHOST

_Satisfied that she had resolved some of the tension, Faith made a beeline for Buffy. "You okay?" She asked, quietly enough that no one else could hear. _

_Buffy nodded, knowing that the other slayer understood why she was upset. "Yeah," she said. "You?"_

_Faith considered lying, but in the end, she gave a small shake of her head. _

_Behind the island, where no one else could see, Buffy reached out and squeezed Faith's hand. _

Chapter 6

"Serious question," Buffy said, in between sharp punches to Giles's padded hands.

"All right," he agreed, wincing with each contact between her fists and his palms.

"Could switching dimensions be causing changes to my," she paused, glancing around as if someone could be watching them, and then blurted out the rest of her sentence, "sexual orientation?"

"Excuse me?" Giles asked, utterly taken aback. He unconsciously dropped his hands, causing Buffy's fist to meet empty air.

Flushing with embarrassment, Buffy muttered, "Could trading places with my wacky identical twin from another dimension make me gay?"

Abandoning training for the time being, her watcher tried to answer the question with a straight face. "I don't think that's possible."

"Are you sure?" Buffy asked, unsure whether she was hoping for him to say yes or no. Yes meant that dimension hopping wasn't having an weird effects on her, but it also meant that some new issues popping up were all coming from her.

"Well, no," Giles admitted, "but I really don't think your dimension hopping would alter your, err, sexual preferences." He looked as though it pained him to use the word 'sexual' in a sentence. "If I am gay here, I would most certainly be gay in any other dimension I were transported to."

"You're gay, too?" The blonde asked, in shock. "See, Giles, this is what I'm saying! This is the gay dimension. Faith's gay; you're gay; I'm turning gay! Everyone's gay here except Willow, and she's supposed to be gay!"

"Wait," Giles held up a hand. "Your Willow is gay?"

"Giles! Focus!"

"Right, of course." Giles shook his head, trying to stay on task. "I'm not gay, Buffy. I was merely making a point, which is that I don't see how moving in to this reality would have any effect on your orientation." He studied her troubled face, hoping she would provide more information on what had caused her to ask this question. When she didn't offer any, he prodded, "Do you want to tell me what's got you thinking like this?"

His question prompted her to think of a scene from the patrol she and Faith had done several nights before. _Faith dove off the gravestone she was standing on, directly at the vampire Buffy was fighting. The blonde's stake hit home and the vamp disintegrated, leaving Faith falling through empty air. She collided with Buffy, sending the pair tumbling to the ground. _

"_Ow," Buffy mumbled feebly, from her spot underneath Faith._

"_Shit," Faith muttered, pulling herself into a sitting position atop Buffy. "Are you okay?" Her hands reached down to feel for possible head wounds. _

_Buffy didn't hear the question. Faith's knees were on either side of her thighs, her dark hair brushing against Buffy's jacket as she leaned in closer. It looked for a moment like Faith would kiss her, and Buffy found her chin tilting up, ready and waiting._

"_Buffy?" Faith asked, becoming concerned by her lack of response._

_Buffy snapped out of it. "What? No? I'm okay." _

The slayer shook her head, trying to focus on the conversation. "That would be a no, topped with extra no," she answered unhappily, "but I guess I let the cat out of the rainbow bag so…"

"So," Giles prompted once more. He stripped the pads from his hands, sensing that their training had wrapped up.

"It's, well, it's Faith." And her incredibly soft looking mouth. And her breasts that were always on the verge of heaving from whatever tank top she'd clothed them with. And the way they always seemed to end up touching more than was necessary. Buffy and Faith. Not the boobs.

"_Stop!" _

_Faith's order was promptly ignored by Buffy, who continued to fling pieces of popcorn at her. The brunette's choice in movies left a lot to be desired. Dawn was snoring softly on the loveseat, and Buffy had had to turn to other amusements._

"_I'm warning you," Faith growled, as another kernel hit her squarely on the nose. _

"_I'm so scared," Buffy said, in a mock trembling voice, just before sending another kernel flying. _

"_That's it!" Faith told her, leaping across the couch and landing ungracefully in Buffy's lap. The popcorn bowl tumbled to the ground, followed quickly by the two grappling slayers. _

"_Ow!" Buffy whined immediately, attempting to trick Faith into releasing her._

_Not falling for it, the younger woman pinned her wrists to the floor. "You're fine, you big baby."_

_The blonde thrashed futilely, her chest pressing up against Faith's as she attempted to squirm free. "Let me go!" _

_Faith looked down at her speculatively. "What are you gonna give me if I do?" She asked, her voice sounding throaty._

_Buffy stopped struggling, her mind quickly filling with pictures of things she could give Faith, most of them at least R-rated._

"_You know you two are ridiculous, right?" Dawn asked, having been awoken by the pair crashing to the floor. "And people say_ I'm_ immature?"_

_Faith quickly rolled off Buffy, brushing her pants off as she got to her feet. "She started it," she declared. _

_Buffy took a moment to calm her racing heartbeat before she got up too._

Giles seemed to be waiting for her to elaborate.

Keeping her gaze anywhere but on the watcher, Buffy continued, "My Faith—I mean, not _my_ Faith, but the Faith in my world, umm, she was pretty big with the innuendos and the touchy feely. Faith here, not totally unlike Faith there, but the difference is me."

"How so?"

"I'm doing it back," Buffy squeaked. Having this conversation with Giles was so weird.

"I don't mean to! It just happens. Hence, gay dimension."

"Buffy," Giles said, stifling a smile, "I'm quite certain that this isn't supernatural."

"How do you explain my sudden attraction to leather and monosyllabic conversation then?" There had to be a supernatural explanation; she knew it!

Giles considered how to tactfully phrase his words. "The simplest explanation is just that being around Faith is allowing these feelings to come out now."

Buffy considered this, gnawing on her bottom lip. She'd never felt even a hint of attraction toward another woman before, and that included Faith. Even as she thought this, a little voice in her head was pointing out the night she and the other slayer had gone off the rails, the night Allan Finch was killed. It had been fun, before the unthinkable had happened. It had felt good to lose control, to be a little bad. She thought of the two of them in the Bronze, Faith's sweaty palm sliding down her forearm, her other hand tucking in to the back pocket of Buffy's pants. They'd been dancing close together, and at the time Buffy hadn't thought a thing about it. Looking back… she flushed. Maybe things hadn't been as clear-cut as she'd imagined.

Giles looked at her in concern. Buffy's mind was clearly spinning. "Does Faith know about this?" He asked.

"I don't know," she answered, with a wrinkle of confusion in her brow. "She's not blind, so…"

"Right." Giles considered all this information. He didn't find it very surprising that Buffy had developed an attraction to Faith. The two Buffys were quite similar in most ways, and something like sexual orientation was a basic part of one's personality. It also didn't surprise him to hear that Faith seemed to reciprocate these feelings, whether she was ready to admit that or not.

"Giles," Buffy began, but was interrupted by the door to the training room opening.

"Buffy," Anya said, "Faith called. She says you have to get home as soon as possible."

"Did she say why?" The slayer asked, alarmed.

Anya shook her head. "No, but she sounded worried."

Buffy glanced around the messy training room.

"Go," her watcher told her. "I'll clean up."

"Thanks," she called, hurrying out the door.

XXXXX

Buffy's mind was racing with horrific possibilities by the time her Jeep squealed to a halt in front of the Summers' house. Demons, vampires, the other Buffy back from who knew where… any crisis was possible. Practically flying up the stairs to the porch, the slayer opened the door while calling, "Faith?"

"In here," the other slayer shouted from the kitchen.

Buffy went in that direction, noticing that the house looked curiously neater than when she had left that morning. She found Faith frantically scrubbing down the kitchen counters.

"What's going on?" Buffy demanded, alarmed.

Faith threw her sponge in the sink, already looking around the kitchen for anything else in need of cleaning. "Dawn's social worker called. She's coming by."

"Tonight?"

"Yeah," Faith said, picking up the broom and starting to sweep. "She wants to check in, with school starting and everything."

"Okay." The blonde was relieved. Compared to the possibilities she'd been imagining, a visit from Social Services sounded like a walk in the park. "I'll go straighten up upstairs."

"There's a problem," Faith told her, before she could leave the kitchen.

Buffy glanced at her inquisitively.

"This isn't our first visit," the brunette said. "Mrs. Hudson was here right after Mrs. S passed."

"Let me guess," Buffy said, dread filling her voice, "it didn't go well?"

"Actually, it was fine. She thought B and me were doing a real good job taking care of Dawn."

"Oh." Buffy was beginning to see the issue.

Faith paused in her sweeping. "Yeah."

"So she thinks that we're…"

"Yeah."

"Faith, it's fine. We can handle this."

"You think she's really gonna buy that we're," Faith gestured in the air between them, as if the very idea were ludicrous, "a couple?"

Buffy blanched. "We could be a couple."

Faith rolled her eyes. "Yeah, right. We're toast."

Swallowing some hurt she didn't want to analyze, Buffy put steel in her voice. "Look, this is for Dawn. She's the most important thing to both of us. We can pull this off."

The doorbell rang.

"Oh, God," Faith groaned. She quickly stowed the broom away.

Dawn darted in to the kitchen, nervousness in her eyes. "She's here."

After calmly instructing her sister to open the door, Buffy turned to Faith. "We can do this," she repeated.

Faith nodded, seeming more convinced. In the foyer, Dawn was greeting the social worker. With Faith in the lead, the slayers left the kitchen to join the pair.

"Mrs. Hudson," Faith greeted, holding out her hand. "How are you?"

"Doing well," the social worker replied, shaking Faith's hand. "And how is everything here?" Her gaze moved to Buffy as she asked.

"Uh, you know, same as always." She tried to sound airy. "It's a little hectic right now with school starting."

Beside her, Faith winced.

Mrs. Hudson's shrewd gaze lingered on the blonde. "I hope it's not _quite_ the same old story, Buffy. Dawn did miss an awful lot of school last year."

"Right," Faith cut in. "I think what Buffy's trying to say is that we've gotten in to a groove over the summer. Things are going pretty smoothly, and Dawn's not going to have those kinds of problems this year." She glanced at Buffy pointedly. "Right, B?"

"Right," Buffy agreed, with a smile that she hoped didn't look as fake as it felt. "That's exactly what I meant."

"Why don't we have a seat in the living room," Faith suggested, ushering their guest forward. "Mrs. Hudson, can we get you something to drink?"

The older woman seated herself on the couch. "No, thank you."

Dawn disappeared upstairs to finish straightening her room before the social worker would come and talk to her. Buffy quickly sat on the loveseat opposite her. Faith sat down next to her, closer than she normally would have. Her arm draped casually behind Buffy's waist. The blonde's cheeks felt warm. She deliberately leaned closer to Faith's side, trying to appear comfortable with their closeness.

Smiling at them, Mrs. Hudson pulled a notebook from her bag. "So," she began, "tell me more about how things have been going since our last visit."

"Good," Faith supplied immediately, taking the lead in the conversation. As she spoke, Buffy focused on trying to relax. Faith seemed totally at ease, talking animatedly. Her fingers pressed gently against Buffy's side, and she looked to the blonde frequently as if checking for her agreement. Faith looked every bit the doting girlfriend, and Buffy hoped she looked the part as well.

Faith explained their summer activities, which were largely being fabricated at this moment. In truth, their summer had had a very rocky start, but they couldn't very well explain that, due to an inter-dimensional portal, Dawn was now being parented by her sister's doppelganger and her real sister's ex-girlfriend. Some parts were true though, like the family dinners they were having more often, and the improvements in the relationship between Buffy and Dawn.

Looking to Buffy, Mrs. Hudson asked, "Would you agree with that, Buffy? I know there was some tension between you and Dawn the last time I was here."

There was? Buffy glanced at Faith, in surprise. The way Dawn had talked about it, her sister was a saint and the Buffy she was now saddled with was a poor substitute. Faith's fingers pressed a little harder into her hip, prompting her to speak. "Um," Buffy said, struggling to say the right thing, "yeah, I would agree." Mrs. Hudson seemed to be waiting for more, so Buffy just kept talking, not really sure where she was going. "I just never expected that I would be raising my sister. It's like I'm this whole new person to her now, you know? And it's… honestly, it's _really_ hard. I don't always know what I'm doing," she confessed. "But Dawn is the most important person in the world to me. I'm trying my best, and I think she knows that. I think things are getting better every day." She laid her hand gently on Faith's knee. "And of course I have Faith here to help me. I think that's good for Dawn too. Having two of us here taking care of her, I mean." Buffy trailed off, realizing she was rambling.

"Buffy does most of the work," Faith said, passing the credit back to her fellow slayer. She smiled affectionately at Buffy.

The social worker nodded sympathetically. "No one knows what they're doing all of the time," she assured them. "Considering what you've been through, I think you're doing an excellent job here."

"Thank you," Faith said quietly, moving her hand to rest on top of Buffy's. Buffy was just relieved her musing had made sense and seemed to resonate with the social worker.

"And how are the two of you doing?" Mrs. Hudson asked. "I hate to pry… but the loss of a loved one, inheriting responsibility for a partner's minor sibling, this kind of thing can really strain a relationship."

The two slayers looked at one another.

Faith spoke first. "It hasn't all been a walk in the park, but we're a team. I think our relationship is even stronger now." She looked at Buffy, forcing what she hoped was a bright smile.

Buffy nodded along, smiling right back at her. "Yeah, I mean, we have our good days and our bad days. There have been a lot of changes, but, like Faith said, we're a team. I can't imagine doing this without her."

Faith blinked in surprise, but quickly covered it with a grin in Mrs. Hudson's direction. "Now she's just trying to butter me up so I'll clean up after dinner tonight."

The social worker laughed. "If only my husband would butter me up once in a while!"

Buffy laughed, relieved that the focus was off them for the moment.

"Well," Mrs. Hudson said, still smiling. "I just need to speak with Dawn for a few minutes, and then I'll be out of your hair."

"Sure." Faith quickly stood up. "Let me take you up to her room."

As the pair left the living room, Buffy sagged back against the couch. She hoped their performance had been convincing.

XXXXX

After leaving Mrs. Hudson with Dawn, Faith quickly ducked inside her bedroom and closed the door behind her. She rested her head back against the wood, taking a deep breath. She thought they'd put on a pretty believable show. It was almost a little too believable for Faith's taste. Holding Buffy's hand, seeing the blonde pretend to love her… it made Faith's heart ache. She hoped this was the last visit they'd be getting for quite a while, because she wasn't sure how much more she could take of pretending to be dating Buffy.

It didn't help matters that touching the blonde made her pulse race. She didn't want to be attracted to Buffy, but it was almost impossible not to be. She was gorgeous of course, but she also had all these annoyingly cute things she did. The way she wrinkled her nose whenever it was her turn to wash the dishes. The fact that her puns were somehow even cornier than B's had been. The way she liked to tease Faith about winning their sparring. She was tougher than B had been, and more sarcastic, because she'd been carrying the weight of the world on her own for the last few years. The more time she spent with Buffy, the more subtle differences between the two she noticed, but somehow the attraction didn't lessen.

It felt wrong, really wrong, on two different fronts. On one hand, it felt bad to be attracted to the similarities between the two blondes—like she was minimizing the loss of her girlfriend. It also felt wrong to be attracted to the qualities about this Buffy that were all her own. That felt suspiciously like moving on to someone else, and Faith was not about to do that. No matter how many times she found herself somehow landing on top of Buffy on patrol.

Knowing she needed to get back downstairs to finish out the visit, Faith quickly strode to her dresser. She checked herself in the mirror, fixing her hair and trying to will herself not to look stressed out. Satisfied with her reflection, she strode to the door and opened it.

Mrs. Hudson stood in the hallway, just leaving Dawn's room. She looked questioningly at Faith, noticing the clearly lived in room behind her. "Do you have a houseguest?" She asked, surprised.

"No," Faith answered, without thinking about it, "that's my stuff."

The social worker's eyebrows rose.

Catching herself, she hurriedly added, "Mine and Buffy's, I mean. We decided to move in to the bigger bedroom." She quickly closed the door behind her, gesturing for Mrs. Hudson to walk toward the stairs with her. "It seemed silly to waste the space."

The older woman nodded in agreement. "Well," she said, as they reached the foyer, "thank you for letting me stop by."

Coming from the living room, Buffy quickly joined them, standing close to Faith.

Faith brought her hand up to touch Buffy's back. "So, your talk with Dawn went well?" She asked the social worker.

"I don't see any cause for alarm," Mrs. Hudson said, with a wide smile. "It seems like you're doing a fine job with Dawn."

The slayers both smiled in relief, murmuring their thanks.

"I'll be in touch if we have any follow-up questions." Their visitor stepped toward the door, giving them a kind smile before she took her leave.

With the door safely closed behind her, Faith dropped her hand from Buffy's back.

They stood in silence for a few seconds, processing the visit. "I think it went well," Buffy finally decided.

"Yeah." Faith raked a hand through her unruly hair, trying to calm her still ragged nerves. "She saw my stuff in Mrs. S's room, but I said we were moving in there. I think she bought it."

Before Buffy could reply, Dawn was hurrying down the stairs. "What did she say? Was it okay?"

"She said everything was fine," Faith assured her.

The younger girl grinned in relief. "Yay! Group hug!" She threw her arms around both slayers, dragging them all together.

Buffy laughed, surprised and pleased by Dawn's reaction.

Faith wrapped the two sisters in her arms and squeezed, laughing too.

"Okay," Dawn wheezed from the inside both their arms, "breathing is becoming an issue."

They stepped apart, all smiling. "So," Faith said, "ice cream to celebrate?"

XXXXX

Willow listened to Buffy's recounting of the social worker's visit with great concentration. It sounded like everything had gone well. Buffy told the story in great detail, although most of her detail seemed to focus on the parts of the story where Faith was touching her. The actual words of the social worker were reviewed quickly. "Wow," the redhead said, as Buffy's story drew to a close, "so you guys really pulled it off."

"Yeah," Buffy agreed, sipping on her mocha happily, "we did. Faith was great. She really took the lead."

Willow considered this for a moment. She wanted to say something, but wasn't sure Buffy was ready to hear it. Finally, she decided to just plow ahead. "I bet you didn't hate that."

A tiny crease appeared between the slayer's eyebrows. "Huh?"

"Buffy," Willow began, with a gentle look, "we're not blind. Everybody knows something's going on with you and Faith." Ignoring the fact that Buffy's mouth was now opening and closing like a trout's, Willow amended her statement. "Well, everyone except you and Faith."

"I say again, huh?" The slayer was dumbfounded. There was nothing going on with her and Faith! She rushed to defend herself. "Okay, so maybe there's a little bit of flirting! But that's all Faith! She's flirty!"

"And you're flirty back!"

Buffy opened her mouth to deny it, but quickly crumpled in the face of Willow's resolve face. "Okay, I'm flirty. But it's some inter-dimensional gay thing! I was straight before I came here!"

Laughing, Willow reached across to pat her friend's hand. "Buffy, it's okay."

The blonde looked utterly miserable. "No, it's not."

"Why not?"

"I'm supposed to be straight. And Faith's totally hung up on the other Buffy anyway. I don't _want_ to be flirty with her."

"Forget about what you're supposed to feel like, or what you think Faith feels, what do you actually feel, Buffy?"

Looking confused, Buffy shrugged. "I'm not sure."

Not willing to give up, Willow persisted. "Yes, you are. Are you still convinced she's evil and going to turn on you at any second?"

"No," Buffy denied immediately. She hadn't worried about that for a very long time. She'd accepted that Faith in this reality was different than the one in hers.

"Then how do you feel about her?" Willow repeated.

"Well, I trust her now," Buffy hedged.

Giving her an exasperated look, the redhead persisted. "That's not an answer! Come on, Buffy, don't think about it, just say it, how do you feel?"

Toying with the lid of her coffee cup, the slayer took a moment to process. She knew what she was feeling, but wasn't sure she was ready to admit it out loud. Out loud seemed scary. It was all audible and stuff. Taking a deep breath, she met Willow's eyes. "There's definitely something there. I don't want there to be; I don't think _Faith_ wants there to be. But there's definitely something." Out loud was definitely scary, but she figured she might as well finish her thought now. "There is so much more to her than I ever would have imagined, you know? And I think about what the two of them had together, and honestly, it makes me jealous."

"Jealous?"

"That I didn't get to have that," Buffy clarified. She looked down at her hands and then added, in a small voice, "That I won't get to."

Far from feeling satisfied that she'd gotten the slayer to admit her feelings toward Faith, Willow felt bad when she saw the obvious upset on her friend's face. "Oh, Buffy, I'm sorry."

Buffy shrugged, trying to pull herself together. "It's okay, Will." She glanced at her watch and said, "I should probably be going. I told Dawn I'd be her sous chef tonight."

Willow nodded unhappily. She felt horrible for making Buffy so sad. She didn't know how to fix it, but she tried anyway. "Okay, but for what it's worth?"

Buffy looked at her.

"I've seen how Faith looks at you. It's not exactly platonic."

"That's because I look like her," Buffy pointed out, as she slid from her stool.

Willow stood too, still trying to convince Buffy. "That's not all it is."

Buffy paused, feeling a tiny spark of hope at her best friend's words. "Do you really think she could…" she trailed off, unsure what she wanted to ask.

Willow seemed to get the point anyway, and she nodded enthusiastically. "She could."

Buffy managed a small smile for her friend, and the two walked out of the coffee shop together. Their conversation had given her a lot to think about.

XXXXX

No ideas had really presented themselves by the following week. At least not any that seemed worthwhile. There was, however, something else on Buffy's mind. "Will," Buffy asked, as the two friends sat at the kitchen table together, "if I wanted you to do something illegal, would you be up for it?"

Willow stopped her fastidious combing through the course catalog for the upcoming semester, and raised her eyebrows nervously. "How illegal?"

"Hacking in to the school's student database?"

Willow's face broke in to a relieved smile. "Buffy, I got us through the Initiative's systems. I think I can handle UC Sunnydale."

Buffy grinned back, relieved. Willow wasn't as skilled with magic in this dimension, but obviously her computer skills hadn't suffered a bit.

"What are we looking for?"

"A student," Buffy replied. "I think she left sometime last year."

Willow waited for further information, puzzled at the lack of supernatural explanation.

Trying to be as vague as possible, Buffy continued, "Her name is Tara. She's a friend, in my world."

"A friend," the redhead repeated skeptically, sensing something weird in Buffy's tone. "Wait, Tara?" Willow wracked her brain, trying to remember where she'd heard the name. "Have you mentioned her before?"

She had, and she sincerely hoped that Willow wouldn't remember the context. "I don't think so," Buffy said evasively. "She's a friend. Well, she's more like family actually. She just… she means a lot to all of us, uh, in my world."

The front door opened and they could hear footsteps stomping rhythmically against the porch mat. "Anybody home?" Faith called through the door.

"In here!" Buffy shouted back. Looking again at her friend, she asked, "So will you help me? I just need her address. I have a feeling something bad's happening to her here."

"Sure, Buffy," Willow agreed without hesitation. "I'll help."

Faith strode into the kitchen, having divested herself of her work boots. "Help with what?" She asked, on her way to the refrigerator.

"I asked Will to hack into the school's database and look up an address for a friend who used to go there."

"Who?" Faith asked curiously, plucking a bottled water from the fridge. She unscrewed the cap and brought the bottle to her lips, leaning her back against the countertop so she was facing the pair.

"No one you know, I don't think," Buffy replied. "Her name is Tara Maclay."

Faith's eyebrows scrunched together as she wracked her brain. "Doesn't ring any bells."

"Well," Willow picked up on the earlier thread of conversation, "I can get you the address. But if you guys don't know each other in this world, what are you going to say to her?"

"I'll think of something on the ride there."

"Is it far?"

"Uh, yeah," Buffy realized. "I hadn't totally thought it out, but it's probably gonna require a road trip."

Willow smiled. "Faith, are you gonna go with her? I don't think we can trust Buffy to drive herself more than 20 miles."

Faith snorted.

"What about Dawn?" Buffy asked, trying to think of a reason Faith couldn't go with her. She had detected the evil glint in Willow's eye, and already knew the reason for it. Spending all that time alone in a confined space with Faith… it sounded like torture. Not that she didn't like being with the other slayer—it was actually quite the opposite. Buffy thought it was appalling how much of a pervert she'd become since realizing her not quite heterosexual feelings toward Faith. Her eyes were constantly traveling to the other woman's legs, her biceps, the exposed flash of back that was on display between her tank top and shorts. She found she was letting herself be pinned more easily during sparring, using her flirty voice unintentionally, smiling too goofily at Faith's antics. If she wasn't careful, Faith would catch on that she was basically drooling over her.

"I can hang out here with her," Willow offered. "Actually, the band has a gig in LA this weekend, and I can't go because I have some psych reading I need to finish before classes start. It'll be perfect. Dawnie and I can do girl's weekend."

"What psych reading?" Buffy asked suspiciously. She didn't recall any of the courses they had looked at requiring summer reading.

"Oh, umm, it's an honors class I'm going to take," Willow told them. "So much reading. You'd hate it."

"An honors psych class," Buffy repeated, now clearly not believing a word her friend was saying.

"I love psych!" Willow exclaimed, only half-facetiously. "So, go on, you gals should hit the open road, take a break from the slaying, feel the wind in your hair!"

Faith wasn't buying Willow's sudden enthusiasm for babysitting (or psychology) any more than Buffy was, but the idea of a road trip did sound appealing. "I'm in," she said.

"Oh," Buffy murmured, suddenly flustered. "You're in."

"Unless you wanted to do your own thing?" Faith asked. "I wouldn't wanna cramp your style."

"No," Buffy answered sincerely. "You wouldn't be."

"Okay," Faith said agreeably, before shooting her empty bottle overhead into the recycling container. "Sounds like a plan." She left the kitchen, heading upstairs to shower.

It did not sound like a particularly sane plan, sitting in a small car with Faith for at least a few days, sharing small hotel rooms, with perhaps only one bed. And perhaps it was a very small bed. And in the middle of the night it would get very warm…

"Buffy?" Willow asked, concerned by the glazed look that had taken up residence on Buffy's face.

Snapping out of it, Buffy turned her best scowly face toward Willow.

Hopping quickly to her feet, Willow gathered her stuff. "Oh, will you look at the time? I'm late to meet Oz." She shoved her notebook and course catalog frantically into her knapsack, and snatched her keys from the table. "I'll get the address for you tonight!"

"Willow," Buffy almost growled.

"Bye, Buffy!" Willow called, as she hurried out the door. Alone at the table, Buffy slumped over, putting her head in her hands. This weekend had the potential to go very, very wrong.

XXXXX

Thoughts? ;)


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: *Please do not distribute or post this story anywhere without my permission.* Thanks to cookiesarefood for her betaing skills.

FLOWERS FOR A GHOST

_Hopping quickly to her feet, Willow gathered her books. "Oh, will you look at the time? I'm late to meet Oz." She shoved her books frantically into her knapsack, and snatched her keys from the table. "I'll get the address for you tonight!"_

"_Willow," Buffy almost growled. _

"_Bye, Buffy!" Willow called, as she hastened out the door. Alone at the table, Buffy slumped her head into her hands. This weekend had the potential to go very, very wrong. _

Chapter 7

A few miles from Highway 51, the only man-made light to be found was the flickering neon sign advertising vacancy at the roadside motel. Buffy stepped from the passenger side of the Jeep into the unseasonably warm night air. Plucking her cardigan uncomfortably from her damp skin, she grabbed her purse from the seat and closed the door. Faith came around the front of the car, and the two headed for the hotel office.

Inside, a middle-aged woman with a smoking habit that had added 15 years to her appearance barely looked up at them. The phone in her hand beeped jovially as she manipulated the tokens in the game she was playing.

"Hi," Buffy greeted politely. "Can we get a room?"

The woman glanced at them, the corner of her mouth turning downward as she took in Faith's appearance. Her dark hair was loose and disheveled from driving with the windows down. She wore no bra beneath her tight black tank top, and chipped fingernails were tapping an impatient rhythm on the countertop.

"How long?" The woman muttered.

"Two nights," Buffy requested. "We need two beds, please."

The woman gave her a noncommittal grunt, before brandishing a key. "That'll be $74.29."

Buffy pulled her wallet from her purse and handed over her debit card. In exchange she received the key and another grunt as she wished the woman a good evening.

The room was about as good as could be expected. The sink's faucet dripped. The air conditioner whined. "At least it runs," Buffy remarked optimistically.

"I call dibs on the shower," Faith answered, dropping her bag on the nearest bed and heading for the bathroom.

Her muscles were tense from the long car ride up to Idaho, but Buffy didn't protest. She was too tired to shower. As the bathtub made a few gross sloshing sounds before starting to run normally, Buffy set her bag on the closest bed and stepped out of her sandals. She pulled her brush from her bag and ran it quickly through her tangled hair. One makeup remover and a pair of light pajamas later, and she was in bed. At least the sheets smelled clean.

When the bathroom door creaked open sometime later, producing a large cloud of steam, Buffy blearily blinked back to consciousness. Faith stepped from the small room, a towel wrapped around her dripping form. In the dim light of the bedside lamp, Buffy's advanced sight could make out every drop of water slowly sliding down the other slayer's legs. Suddenly, she was wide-awake.

_Close your eyes,_ she told herself. Her eyes refused to obey that command. Instead, they were glued to Faith as she rustled through her knapsack for clean clothes. Her hair was straight and long down her back, with glistening droplets of water still clinging to her bare shoulders. The rather threadbare towel provided by the hotel shielded her back from view, but did nothing to hide the curve of Faith's butt, and it barely covered any leg at all. Again, Buffy's eyes moved to the other slayer's legs, watching the muscles flex as she shifted.

"Sorry if I woke you," Faith said neutrally, finally plucking her bag of toiletries and fresh clothing free.

Buffy flushed as brightly as if she'd been caught staring. "That's okay."

Faith turned toward her, clutching her stuff in front of her chest. "I'm almost done."

Buffy couldn't help it, her eyes quickly swept down the front of Faith's body. When she finally got them back up to the other slayer's face, Faith was looking away, her cheeks slightly pink.

"Sure," Buffy mumbled, "take your time."

Nodding, Faith headed back to the bathroom.

Once the door closed behind her, Buffy dropped her head to her pillow with a silent scream. Rather than beat herself up, she quickly focused on the real culprit here: Willow. Willow knew she was dealing with out of control hormones! Not to mention the inter-dimensional force of gay which was clearly at work on her. She hadn't mentioned that part to her friend, but she was sure it had to exist. What other explanation was there? In any case, she was going to torture Willow. There would be requests for details on her and Oz's sex life. There would be frogs! Okay, there wouldn't be frogs. Willow didn't deserve that much. But there would be revenge. Buffy would see to it.

Clothed in baggy boxer shorts and a tank top, Faith emerged from the bathroom. "You gonna shower?" She asked, mercifully letting Buffy's earlier ogling go.

"Uh," Buffy said, face still half in her pillow. _Don't look at her. Don't look at her!_ "I think I'll just wait til the morning."

"Cool if I turn this off then?" Faith asked, gesturing toward the lamp.

Buffy nodded.

Faith did so, enveloping the room in murky darkness. She pulled the thin comforter of the other bed up to her shoulders, settling on her back.

"Goodnight," Buffy said quietly, trying not to think about Faith's towel clad body from a few moments before.

"Night, Buffy."

XXXXX

The morning routine passed without any awkward nudity. By the time Buffy emerged freshly showered and dressed, Faith was already dressed and eating something rather unhealthy.

"HoHos?" Buffy asked disdainfully.

"Don't worry," Faith replied with a chocolate smeared grin, "I got you some."

"I was gonna say we should get breakfast at that diner we passed off the highway, but I guess if you're full of HoHos…"

Faith polished off the last bite and dusted the crumbs from her hands. "You read my mind. I could really go for some pancakes."

Shaking her head, Buffy picked up her purse. "You are a bottomless pit."

"Oh, right, like I haven't seen you eat an entire bag of cheese balls in one sitting."

Knowing there was no defense for that, Buffy merely frowned as the other slayer sailed out the door to the room.

The diner, while still qualifying as a greasy spoon, was definitely a step up in quality from their motel. The food was more than edible, the coffee was fresh, and the refills were free.

Faith appeared to be the picture of nonchalance, focused utterly on the tall stack of pancakes in front of her. Actually, she was intensely curious about this girl, Tara, who Buffy had driven all this way to see. She'd walked into the kitchen at the tail end of Buffy's conversation with Willow, but slayer hearing had actually allowed her to eavesdrop from the porch. A close friend, almost like a family member, who no one in this dimension had ever heard of? Didn't sound very probable.

"You figured out what you're going to say to her yet?" Faith asked, as they were finishing up with breakfast.

Buffy wrinkled her nose in nervousness. "Not exactly."

"'Hi, you've never met me before, but I came here through an inter-dimensional portal, and in my world we're BFF?'"

"Very helpful, Faith."

"That's me," Faith said cheerfully, "Faith the Helpful."

"More like Faith the Pain in My Butt."

Faith put a hand to her heart. "That hurts, Buffy."

Buffy picked up a stray strawberry from the side of her plate and tossed it in Faith's direction. It was easily deflected, but still felt good.

"You ready to go?" Faith asked, pulling some cash free from her wallet and placing it down on their check.

Buffy didn't feel all that ready. She'd planned to spend the car ride up thinking about what to say to Tara, but instead she'd spent most of it surreptitiously watching Faith. There had also been a nap that ate up a lot of her planning time. "Sure," she answered, sliding from the booth.

Faith led the way from the diner. In the car, she programmed the address Willow had given them in to the GPS. Tara's home was in farm country, and the drive passed quickly with few other cars making their way down the roads.

"I think this is it right here," Faith said after a while, slowing down as she craned to look out the passenger side window.

After meeting Tara's family members, Buffy had been expecting the house to be more like Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Instead, the house they were slowly rumbling toward looked welcoming. The whitewash was beginning to fade to gray, but the windows were clean and rimmed with bright curtains. A porch swing swayed unattended in the breeze. Behind the house, Buffy could make out two long, low buildings painted bright red. The air coming through the window was warm and scented with the earthy smell of hay and animals. Faith slowed the Jeep to a halt beside a newer model pick-up truck, and put it in park.

"Nice place," she said approvingly, peering around as she rolled up both their windows.

Buffy murmured her agreement. She was starting to wonder if the Tara in this world had quite the same home life. Maybe she'd driven all this way to check on a friend in trouble, only to find that the friend was doing fine.

Faith didn't give her any chance to hesitate, climbing right out of the Jeep. Buffy followed her lead, quickly striding toward the porch before she could change her mind.

Faith hung back on the top step, trying to give her some privacy.

Buffy rang the bell. A few moments later, footsteps approached from the other side of the screen door. A slight woman appeared, looking at them curiously. "Can I help you?" She asked.

"Hi," Buffy said. "Is Tara home?"

The woman's forehead creased slightly. "Who should I say is here?"

"I'm Buffy. I'm a friend from Sunnydale."

An unfriendly frown appeared on the woman's face. "She's never mentioned you."

"Really?" Buffy asked, sounding dismayed. "She told me all about you. You're Beth, right?"

"That's right," Beth agreed, still frowning.

"Beth, it was a really long drive up..."

She hesitated for another moment, but politeness seemed to win over. "Right. Okay, let me just get Tara."

"Thank you so much," Buffy said with a smile Faith knew was faked.

As Beth disappeared from the door, Buffy glanced back at Faith. The brunette quickly made a circle in the air by her ears, the well-known sign for crazy.

Stifling a grin, Buffy turned back to the door just as someone else stepped through it, joining them on the porch.

"Hi, Tara," Buffy said warmly. In spite of her earlier misgivings, she could tell immediately that this Tara was quite similar to the Tara she'd known. The girl's shoulders were bowed, and she wore her hair long enough to hide behind.

"H-Hi," Tara greeted, glancing quickly over her shoulder toward the door, as if expecting to find Beth standing there.

Sensing Tara's hesitation at talking where her family might hear, Buffy suggested they take a walk around the farm.

Tara nodded, her face momentarily disappearing behind her hair, and quickly passed Faith, leading them both off the porch.

She took them to an old picnic bench, gesturing for them to sit, while she remained standing. Tara brought her arms up in front of her stomach. "Should I know who you are?"

"No," Buffy admitted. "But I know you."

"From school?"

"Not exactly," the slayer responded. "This is going to sound really weird... but I sort of... know you from another dimension."

Tara stared at her for a moment, before frowning. "Did Donny put you up to this?"

"No," Buffy reassured her. "No, I'm totally serious. I'm from another dimension. I'm a vampire slayer, and my friends help me, and you are one of those friends. Well, not you, but the Tara in my world, I mean, and... you totally think I'm nuts now, don't you?"

Faith expected Tara to say yes, and possibly run screaming back to her house. To her great surprise, Tara studied them both through narrowed eyes for a moment, and then shook her head. "I'm not sure yet."

"Okay," Buffy said quickly, "I'll take that. Umm, what can I say to convince you... Oh, you could read my aura!"

Tara took a small step backward, her eyes widening in alarm.

Holding both palms up, Buffy tried to reassure her. "Yes, I know you're a witch, and wow, that sounded so much less threatening in my head." She grimaced. "Okay, look, let me start over. I'm totally down with witches. Some of my best friends are witches," she joked. When neither Faith nor Tara cracked a smile, she frowned. "Tough crowd. Okay, umm, the first time I met you, someone had mystically stolen my body, and you helped me get it back. You used a… comma? A karma?"

"A katra," Tara corrected gently. She studied Buffy curiously for another moment, before taking a deep breath. "So," she began slowly, "in your world... I help you fight vampires?"

Buffy nodded enthusiastically. "Vampires, other demons, all kinds of things. My friend, Willow, is a witch too, and you guys are good with the mojo."

A wrinkle developed between Tara's eyebrows. Faith could appreciate her confusion. This was a lot to take in.

Apparently having decided to sit down, Tara took a seat next to Buffy. The slayer turned so they were facing each other.

"So, I'm-I mean she's-still there, with your friends? She didn't move back home?"

Buffy shook her head. "Your dad came last year, with Donny and Beth, to try to convince her to go home. It didn't exactly work out like he planned." Buffy smirked, remembering how the man had backed down when challenged.

"But," Tara began, before she stopped. Her chin was down, her hair once again draped across her face. Her hands fidgeted in her lap. When she finally spoke again, her voice was very quiet. "How does she control it?"

Buffy felt a rush of compassion for the woman in front of her. Tara was a powerful witch, and a strong, sweet person, and she'd been lied to by the people who she'd trusted most. She reached out, gently lifting one of Tara's twisting hands and holding it in hers. "You're not a demon," Buffy told her. Tara opened her mouth to protest, but Buffy kept going. "I know that's what they told you, but you're 100% human. I promise you."

"How do you know?" Tara asked, almost unwilling to believe it.

"I'm a slayer," Buffy said with a smile. "So is Faith. We can sense demons. You're not one."

Tara glanced at Faith quickly, and the brunette nodded in agreement. Her spidey senses were definitely not tingling.

Buffy squeezed Tara's hand, calling her attention back to her. "I know your family tells you that you belong here, and if you're happy here, that's great. But I want you to know that you don't have to stay here. You don't know me yet, but, Tara, I know you. You're powerful. You're kind." Buffy smiled as Tara's flushed, looking down at her lap. "My Tara is part of my family. She lived with us after my mom passed away. Sometimes it seemed like she was the only person my little sister would even speak to."

A shy smile began to form along the edges of Tara's lips.

"Tara," Buffy said, looking at her until she looked back, "you deserve so much more than this. You are special." When Tara snorted softly, Buffy shook her head. "I'm serious. Tara in my world was shy just like you, but she met someone. Someone who loves her like crazy, and helped her realize how amazing she is."

Tears were quickly collecting in Tara's eyes.

"You should be back in Sunnydale," Buffy said firmly. "You should be in school, and you should be with people who appreciate you. I'm not saying the slay gig is the lap of luxury or anything, but you could help people. And you could let us help you."

"I c-can't just go," Tara protested, but her heart wasn't really in it.

"You can," Buffy assured her.

"But my dad…"

The slayer smirked. "I could pick your dad up and throw him to that barn over there. If you want to go, he's not stopping you."

At a loss for words, Tara sat silently, trying to process all this information. At the start of the day, her biggest plan had been to drive to town to see a movie with Beth. Now, some woman who might be crazy was telling her she needed to move back to Sunnydale, and that she wasn't actually a demon. It was kind of a lot to take in.

Buffy gave her hand a final squeeze before letting go. She knew Tara needed time to think about everything she'd said. Across the table from them, Faith was staring out into the field, her long hair fluttering in the wind. She seemed tense, although Buffy wasn't quite sure why. "Tell you what," Buffy said, "we're going back to Sunnydale tomorrow. If you want to, you can hitch a ride with us."

"I-I don't know," Tara replied, seeming alarmed by the speed at which things were moving.

"Think about it," Buffy advised, before climbing to her feet.

Tara jumped up beside her. Spontaneously, she threw her arms around Buffy. "Thank you," she practically whispered.

The slayer closed her eyes, hugging her friend back tightly. "You're welcome."

XXXXX

Faith barely grunted a syllable all the way back to the motel. Buffy picked up on the tension emanating from the other slayer, and she didn't try to engage her in conversation. By the time the Jeep screeched to a halt in front of their room, Faith's hands were starting to ache from how hard she was gripping the wheel.

She got out of the car quickly, shutting the door a little too hard behind herself. Buffy followed, utterly confused about where Faith's sudden change in attitude had come from. Once inside, Faith flopped back on her bed, putting her arms behind her head as if she were relaxing. Her closed eyes indicated she wasn't interested in talking.

Buffy would have been content to leave her alone, but they were stuck in a glorified rest stop in Idaho and she really had nothing to do. "What's up with you?" She asked in the least confrontational tone she could muster. Truthfully, she was a little annoyed. She hadn't even invited Faith on this road trip, and she wanted to bask in the goodness of seeing Tara again. Faith was ruining that with her sulky attitude.

"Nothing," Faith said gruffly.

"Obviously something's wrong," Buffy pointed out reasonably.

At first it seemed Faith would ignore this, but then she opened her eyes and sat up swiftly, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed so the pair was facing one another. "It just annoys me how you talked up your straight as an arrow bullshit all this time, when you had this epic love story with the girl who eats her own hair."

Buffy's jaw popped open. _What?_ "What?"

"'Oh, Tara, you're so special and someone loves you so much,'" Faith imitated. "Do you think it wasn't obvious to her that you were talking about yourself, by the way? Real subtle, Buffy."

"Faith," Buffy said, torn between laughing at the absurdity of this accusation and getting angry, "I wasn't—"

"I really bought your straight girl act, too," Faith threw out. "But I guess it wasn't the girl on girl part that freaked you out, it was just the part where it was me." The last sentence was cloaked in bitterness.

"That's not—" Buffy tried again to interject.

"Never pegged you for a hypocrite," Faith accused, her eyes glinting with anger. The mattress springs squeaked under the strong hands digging in to them.

Buffy finally managed to get a word in edgewise. "You're jealous," she realized. Faith's obvious anger aside, this realization elated her.

"What?" Faith scoffed. "Of course not. I just don't like being lied to."

"I wasn't lying!" Buffy insisted. "I was straight! And yes, you are; you're jealous."

"I'm not," Faith replied through gritted teeth. "And what do you mean you _were_ straight?"

"What?"

"You said, 'I _was_ straight.'"

Buffy looked a little nervous now that she was being confronted with her own slip of the tongue. "You're so stupid," she sniped, standing up quickly. She tried to go for the bathroom, but Faith stood too, gently but firmly taking her arm.

"Why am I stupid?" She asked urgently. A little seed of a thought was beginning to grow in her mind, but she needed to hear it out loud before she could believe it. "Buffy," she said, looking in to the other woman's face searchingly, "why am I stupid?"

"Because you would have to be to not realize I'm talking about you!" Buffy shouted, half-heartedly trying to tug her arm free.

Faith's heart was pounding in her chest. "What?" She asked.

"Nevermind," Buffy said quietly, trying to gather the shattered remains of her dignity. What the hell had she been thinking saying that? "Can you let me go now, please?"

"You never had a thing with Tara," Faith clarified. _She never had a thing with Tara. Everything she said was true. _

"No."

"She's with somebody else."

"Yes, now can I go?" Buffy tugged her arm again.

"No," Faith snapped, "we need to talk about this." Buffy had just confessed to having feelings for her, in a roundabout way. This definitely required a conversation.

"Look," Buffy said, in a very defeated tone, "I just really need to go in the other room and pretend this never happened. We don't need to talk about anything. It isn't fair to put this on you; I get that."

"Buffy…"

"Please don't say anything else," Buffy muttered.

Faith hesitated, before nodding and releasing her arm.

Buffy managed to get a few steps toward the bathroom before Faith stepped after her, taking her arm again. "No, wait."

She was about to protest. Her cheeks were burning red in humiliation. She had her best friend's demise to plot as revenge for sending Faith on this trip with her, and she was on the verge of tears. Faith had pulled her arm so they were facing one another, and was looking at her as if she'd never seen her before. The hand hanging at her side came up, rough fingertips sweeping across Buffy's cheek for a fleeting moment. Then Faith's thumb was under her chin, forcing it up gently, so she could kiss her.

Buffy didn't even realize she was holding her breath, not at first. Breathing was not a priority at this moment. The two of them had rarely been this close unless they were fighting or sparring. It was strange, feeling Faith's hands touching her skin gently. At home, she would never have been able to relax with Faith around. Now her eyes were closed, and her hands were moving of their own accord, reaching for Faith's waist.

Before they quite made it there, Faith stepped back, leaving Buffy opening her eyes in alarm.

"Sorry," Faith muttered, turning away, "I shouldn't have done that."

Buffy's face fell. She felt like she'd been kicked in the stomach. This conversation was an emotional rollercoaster, and it had just dumped her way, way back down.

"Okay, no," Faith said, turning back to her and crossing the distance between them. "I shouldn't have _stopped_ doing that." Faith seized her upper arms, pulling Buffy flush against her. Her kiss was slightly gentler, but just as direct, and Buffy felt herself lighting back up.

Acting quickly before Faith could change her mind, she wrapped her arms around the brunette, pressing herself into Faith's embrace.

Faith released her arms, bring her hands up to thread into Buffy's long hair.

_Breathe,_ Buffy reminded herself, even as her arms attempted to pull Faith closer. She'd never noticed how _soft_ Faith was. Her skin was smooth and delicate, her hair silky where it was brushing Buffy's fingertips. She let Buffy tug at her, molding their bodies together as closely as they could be.

They hovered for a moment, on the edge of the slow, soft kiss. Then Faith's hot breath was ruffling her hair, and her lips were parting, and suddenly it was a whole new kind of kiss.

Buffy had had a lot of kisses in her life, but this was probably the most anticipated one. She wasn't a kid anymore, like she had been when she'd met Angel. She was a full-fledged adult with grown up problems. She was old enough to know that some things just can't work out, no matter how bad you want them, and she'd thought her feelings for Faith fell into that category. But that hadn't stopped her from wanting it all the same.

Faith couldn't seem to pull herself back. She knew some part of her had been hoping for exactly this when she agreed to go on this trip with the other slayer. She wouldn't have imagined acting on it, not until she'd thought that maybe Buffy was interested in someone else. Suddenly the distance she was so interested in keeping between them didn't seem to make much sense.

Buffy was so warm, so eager to be close to her. One of her hands had slid under Faith's t-shirt, resting on the small of her back. Faith found that her mouth had started grinning without her knowledge.

She stumbled slightly, and Faith opened her eyes as Buffy gripped her arms to keep her upright. They were at the bed, with Faith's legs pressed against the edge. She hadn't realized she'd guided them that way, but apparently she had.

Failing to keep her balance, she sat down hard. Her hands slid down Buffy's arms until they were holding hands. Looking at their linked hands, Faith asked, "What are we doing here?"

Buffy tried to decipher the meaning behind her question. Did Faith think they were making a mistake? Going for humor, she smiled and said, "I thought it was called kissing, but I might be a little bit out of practice."

"Right," Faith said. Kissing. Kissing was good.

Buffy sat down beside her, leaving a little space between them. "Is that a bad thing?" She was trying to seem indifferent, but her smile didn't quite reach her eyes.

"I don't know," Faith answered her honestly.

Buffy nodded, dropping her eyes to the floor. The rollercoaster was taking a death spiral at this point.

"But I don't want to stop." Faith reached out, her palm skimming up Buffy's arm until it reached her neck. Her thumb traced the blonde's delicate jaw line. "C'mere," she said softly.

Buffy turned, bringing her knees onto the bed and moving in to Faith's space. The brunette cupped her upturned face in her hands and brought her lips to Buffy's.

Gentle pressure on her shoulders prompted Faith to lie back. Buffy lay beside her, her hand on Faith's stomach as they kissed. It had been so long since she'd been close to anyone like this. Faith couldn't deny how good it felt to have the weight of Buffy's body resting against her. There was no denying how good Buffy smelled. She definitely could not deny the way her hands just seemed to fit perfectly on Buffy's waist, or how at home they felt sliding under her blouse and on to her ribs.

She stopped kissing Buffy long enough to pull the fabric of the blonde's blouse aside so she could get to her neck. Ignoring the little voice in the back of her mind telling her to slow down, Faith let her mouth roam at will, kissing Buffy's shoulder, her collarbone, the very tops of her breasts. Buffy made a faint pleased noise in her throat. Her hands were in Faith's hair now, pulling her mouth closer, guiding her lips to the soft place where her shoulder met her neck.

Faith took the cue and peppered kisses in this spot, punctuating her movements with a delicate lick.

Buffy's head lolled, a whimper escaping her lips. Faith was trying to reign herself in, she really was, but her hands seemed to be moving of their own accord as she gently nudged Buffy on to her back. The blonde's legs parted automatically, leaving space for Faith to settle in.

The position wasn't a new one for Faith, and neither was the body underneath her. She knew these narrow hips and soft breasts like the back of her own hand. When Buffy wound her arms around Faith's back, pulling their bodies flush together, Faith abandoned all attempts to slow down. It seemed like they both wanted the same thing, and Faith was so tired of resisting the draw. Just being this close to Buffy was making her uncomfortably wet.

Buffy's hands found the edge of her t-shirt and pulled it up her back. Faith ducked her head, sliding out easily, and let Buffy pull it free. She sat back on her knees, reaching behind her to unclasp her bra.

Buffy didn't have what she would call a really good track record with sex. Two of her three partners had displayed varying signs of evil after having sex with her. Given that, she'd expected to be more nervous with Faith. Somehow, it felt really natural. She was a little unsure what she was doing, but she knew that Faith wouldn't care about that. She watched eagerly as the brunette removed her bra and dropped it aside. Topless now, Faith came back to her arms. One of Buffy's hands stroked her naked back, the other slid between them, palming Faith's breast. The trend of softness continued. Faith felt as delicate as flower petals, all except for her nipple, which was all too happy to rise to Buffy's touch.

Faith's lips were back on her neck, kissing and sucking every bit of skin they could find their way to. She didn't seem to care about the scar there, just kissed right over it on her way to Buffy's ear lobe. When Faith sat back up, pulling her mouth from Buffy's neck, the blonde whimpered in protest.

Faith brought unsteady fingers to the buttons of Buffy's blouse, making quick work of the little fasteners. She took Buffy's hands, pulling her back into a sitting position, so she could slide the shirt down her arms. As Faith easily unclasped her bra, Buffy's hands were already on the button of her jeans.

Again there was a little voice questioning whether she was making the right decision, but Faith ignored that as they managed to pull each other free of pants and underwear and socks. By the time Faith had settled next to Buffy, her hand expertly sliding between her legs, her reservations had disappeared. Buffy's skin was flushed and her thighs lightly trembling when Faith's fingers parted her lips and gently prodded at her opening.

Being inside another woman was a feeling Faith didn't think she'd ever get tired of. Buffy's labia were full and tinged red with arousal. She was scorching hot and wet as Faith's fingers moved eagerly in and out. Faith tilted her head back, burying her face once more in Buffy's neck.

"God, that feels good," Buffy sighed, the hand behind Faith's back digging roughly into her shoulder.

Faith wasn't expecting the blonde's fingers when they cupped her mound softly. She was deep in concentration, fingers expertly working in Buffy's pussy. Still, she slid herself closer, giving Buffy more room to work.

Buffy's showed no hesitation, her fingers immediately dipping into the wet heat of Faith's sex.

"Mmm," Faith murmured, sliding closer still so she was almost laying on Buffy. Buffy rolled onto her side, draping one leg over Faith's hip. Their breasts and bellies pushed together, each of them touching the other. She exhaled roughly when the Buffy's fingers found her clit.

Buffy's nails clawed into her back as her fingers quickly circled Faith's clit. The brunette's hips pushed back against her, begging for more friction. Buffy gave it gladly, increasing the pressure in her fingertips as she toyed with the other slayer's swollen clitoris.

Knowing that she wouldn't last long now that Buffy was hitting her stride, Faith redoubled her efforts. Sliding her fingers inside Buffy as far as she could, she curled her hand, pressing the heel of her palm into Buffy's slit.

"Ah," Buffy panted, trying not to lose the rhythm she'd achieved. Faith's hand was grinding down against her now, sliding back and forth quickly. Buffy's leg clutched Faith's waist tightly. It was hard for either of them to move in the miniscule space left between them, but somehow they managed.

"Kiss me," Buffy requested, through panting breaths.

Faith obliged, quickly bringing their mouths together. They grappled frantically, tongues meeting and stroking, as both furiously tried to make the other one come first.

Faith broke first, to both of their surprise. She tore her mouth free from Buffy's, her legs clamping tightly around the blonde's hand. A loud groan escaped against Buffy's cheek, where Faith had slumped. Buffy's fingers stilled, and she pressed a gentle kiss against Faith's temple.

Faith's movements had momentarily gotten off track as she'd concentrated on her own orgasm, but as soon as she had full control of her body again, she got back to work. With a sound Buffy could only classify as a growl, Faith gripped her tightly in her arms, her fingers renewing their enthusiastic assault on Buffy's sex.

She'd already been close, and Buffy was back on edge again in no time. Her back was rigid, legs tensed and tight as she concentrated. "Oh, God, Faith," she breathed, her eyes squeezed tight in concentration.

Nothing had ever sounded so good to Faith as Buffy moaning her name, and she couldn't wait to hear it again. Bringing her thumb to Buffy's clit, she pressed down, sliding the pad of her thumb up and down in rhythm with her thrusting fingers.

"Faith," Buffy cried again, digging her nails into the other slayer's back hard enough to hurt. She trembled in Faith's arms, muscles clamping down on the brunette's thrusting fingers. "Oh, Faith!" Buffy's hips surged forward as she threw her head back.

Faith gently slowed her movements as Buffy became limp in her arms. Buffy jolted again as Faith carefully withdrew her hand.

Buffy slowly came back to earth. She snuggled into Faith's embrace with a satisfied yawn.

"Tired?" Faith asked quietly. Gone was her earlier assuredness. She gingerly placed her arm over Buffy's stomach.

The blonde nodded, turning and wrapping her arm around Faith. Her lips brushed Faith's neck.

Faith let herself be used as a pillow, her arm cradling Buffy's back. With her free hand, she pushed the long blonde hair away from Buffy's face, tucking it behind her ear. Her eyes lingered on the healed scar still visible on Buffy's neck.

Buffy fell asleep quickly, leaving Faith in the rapidly encroaching darkness. She tried to relax, but the more she tried, the more her muscles seemed to want to move. Finally, she gingerly slid her arm free from Buffy, and got up.

She closed the bathroom door soundlessly behind her. In the small bathroom, she turned on the shower, not waiting for the water to run hot before she stepped inside. She pressed both hands to her mouth, smothering the first sob that tore from her throat. Her back slid down the slick shower wall, leaving her sitting on the tub floor. Elbows between her knees, she doubled over, hands pressing against her mouth hard enough to make her teeth ache.

Alone in the room, Buffy turned in bed, her palm sliding over the empty sheet.

XXXXX

What did you think? :) Thanks for reading!


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: *Please do not distribute or post this story anywhere without my permission.* Thanks to cookiesarefood for her betaing skills.

Flowers for a Ghost

_She closed the bathroom door soundlessly behind her. In the small bathroom, she turned on the shower, not waiting for the water to run hot before she stepped inside. She pressed both hands to her mouth, smothering the first sob that tore from her throat. Her back slid down the slick shower wall, leaving her sitting on the tub floor. Elbows between her knees, she doubled over, hands pressing against her mouth hard enough to make her teeth ache. _

_Alone in the room, Buffy turned in bed, her palm sliding over the empty sheet. _

Chapter 8

Even before they got to Tara's house, Buffy's nerves were as taut as guitar strings. She'd woken up to Faith coming out of the shower, suggesting they grab some dinner in a too bright voice. Less than 24 hours later, and Buffy was starting to hate that voice. Faith didn't seem to want to talk about what had happened, but she was happy to chat about the weather in Idaho, what the gang might be up to back home, or Xander and Anya's upcoming nuptials. All of which she'd enthused on with great relish, leaving Buffy at a loss as to what to say.

She wasn't sorry it had happened. Being with Faith had been amazing. It had felt right. So right it was scary, in fact. Being with Faith was satiating in a way she'd never experienced before. It had filled holes in her belly that all the non-fat yogurt in the world couldn't solve. Spaces she couldn't even have acknowledged existed before now felt full. Faith's hands, Faith's mouth, her trembling limbs, her perfect rasping breaths. All of it had crept somewhere under her skin, moving and rearranging her so that they'd fit together so perfectly, just the way it felt like they should.

But then came that voice, that distant bright voice, and Faith was pulling back, leaving her feeling more alone than she had since she'd come here.

When the Jeep rolled to an easy stop in front of the large farmhouse, Buffy sighed in relief. At least they'd be otherwise occupied for a while. Faith put it in park and cut the engine. Before either of the slayers could climb fully from the car, the screen door banged open, and a clearly upset Tara came running down the porch steps. "Let's go," she cried, quickly heading for Buffy.

"What's going on?" Buffy asked, afraid she already knew the answer.

"Please," Tara said, reaching her side, "let's just go." Unshed tears were glistening in her eyes. A small duffel bag was clutched tightly in her hand.

The front door banged again, and Tara's father came barreling toward them. A younger man, who Buffy recognized as Tara's brother, Donny, was hot on his heels.

"You get back in that house this instant," Mr. Maclay fumed, stopping just short of crashing in to his daughter.

Tara's eyes were downcast, but she managed to speak. "N-no," she said, in her trembling voice.

"Girl, I'm not gonna ask you again." Mr. Maclay reached for Tara's arm, but Buffy quickly stepped in front of her, stopping his motion.

"You don't want to do that," she said calmly, but with obvious threat in her voice.

Mr. Maclay turned annoyed eyes to the interloper. "Why don't you mind your own damned business and get out of here?"

"Not gonna happen," Buffy replied, crossing her arms in front of her body. From the other side of the vehicle, Faith's door slammed shut. She was making her way around the back of the car to join them.

Mr. Maclay's cheeks reddened as he took in the short woman in front of him, blocking his way to his daughter. "Just who the hell do you think you are?" He demanded. "My daughter's not well. She needs to be here, with her family." He glanced at Faith as she joined them, his lips wrinkling in disgust. "Not gallivanting off with a couple of dykes!" With that, he moved to shove past Buffy.

Although she knew the blonde could hold her own, Faith's anger had soared when she'd heard the slur he called them. She stepped forward, a solid wall of muscle that Mr. Maclay practically bounced off of when he tried to push past. "Watch your mouth," she growled.

Tara's father sneered, trying to dodge around Faith. She was too quick, keeping her body between him and his prey. Quitting his attempts, he directed his gaze over Faith's shoulder to his daughter. "You think your new friends are going to be able to help you?" He asked, putting some false concern in his voice now. "Tara, you need to be here. It's not your fault—what you are, but if you leave… you could hurt people."

Buffy had heard enough of this. She opened the back passenger door, motioning for Tara to climb in. Still blocking her father's access to Tara, Buffy looked at him in disgust. "She's not a demon."

"What?" He demanded. "Of course she is!"

Buffy shook her head. "No, she isn't. Neither was your wife."

Mr. Maclay laughed. "You don't know what you're talking about."

"You know how powerful she is, don't you?" Buffy asked, taking a step toward him. This was no longer just about Tara or her father. This man, who'd tried to stifle the women in his life, manipulated and abused them, he was only the latest in a line of men she'd known like this. She thought of the Council—the way they wanted to control her and Faith both. The council didn't view them as people. They didn't know the first thing about slayers, just like the ignorant man in front of her didn't know a thing about his daughter.

Sensing something dangerous about her, Mr. Maclay took a step back.

"She doesn't even know it yet, but you can see it. You're afraid," Buffy stated, her voice laced with scorn. "You can't stand the thought of a woman being out from under your thumb. You told her she was evil because you wanted to control her."

"That's not—" Tara's father tried to butt in.

Buffy spoke over him, stalking forward again. "You're a coward, Mr. Maclay. You want to trap your own daughter here so she'll never grow beyond what you want her to be. You're small," she said, disgust and anger radiating through her voice. "You're a small man."

Mr. Maclay stumbled back from her latest onslaught, colliding with his son.

"You can't talk to him like that," Donny cried, speaking for the first time.

Buffy turned her gaze to him, and his mouth snapped shut. She was shorter than both of them, but they cowered before her.

Faith closed the car door after the now crying Tara, and took a step forward, standing behind Buffy. She didn't need to touch the other slayer. Buffy wouldn't do anything to hurt a human being, no matter how angry she was. "I think we're done here," Faith said, glancing disinterestedly at Tara's family.

Casting a withering glance at the two men, Buffy nodded. "Let's go."

The slayers turned, heading for the Jeep.

Mr. Maclay took one final, futile step toward the car, crying out, "Tara!"

In the backseat, Tara shook her head, unable to look at him. As Faith made a quick turn in the driveway and headed for the road, none of them looked back.

XXXXX

Buffy spent much of the ride facing the backseat, trying to cheer Tara up with a constant stream of chatter. Faith didn't mind the noise, but it had the unfortunate side effect of leaving her to her own thoughts. Her mind was repeating a continuous loop of guilt over the night before.

It had been fun, there was no denying that. She was woman enough to admit that she'd wanted it, had wanted it for a while in fact. Buffy was funny, and she was sweet, and the muscles and adorableness didn't hurt either. But in the harsh light of day, Faith had to question her own decision making skills. Buffy was great, but she wasn't _Faith's_ Buffy. She didn't even want to think about how B would feel it she knew that Faith had barely made it through a few months before she'd jumped all over the alternate universe version of her. It made zero logical sense, but somehow she kept picturing B walking in and finding her in bed with Buffy, her mouth falling open in horror, her big hazel eyes swimming with tears. She knew B was never coming back, but it felt disloyal all the same. They'd had _plans_. They'd had a life. Faith didn't know if she really believed in souls—but she knew what people meant when they said they'd found their soul mate. That kind of thing deserved a proper mourning period.

Then there was the added concern of what was actually going on in this Buffy's head. Did she think this was a one-time thing? Did she have serious feelings and she wanted an actual relationship? Faith actually didn't know which one was worse—for Buffy to blow her off or for Buffy to pursue her. Plus, the other slayer had been living the straight life until she'd abruptly found herself dumped in this dimension, and the transition was hardly ever easy. Faith definitely should not have slept with her. She'd rushed things.

By the time they finally made it back to Sunnydale, Faith was pretty far into her spiral of negativity. They pulled up the driveway, and Buffy hopped out easily, taking Tara's bag. As soon as they got inside, Faith disappeared upstairs, leaving Buffy to do the introductions.

"Tara," she addressed her shy friend, "meet Willow. And this is my sister, Dawn."

"Hi," Willow greeted warmly. "It's great to meet you!"

Dawn smiled also. "Buffy told us you're a witch," she said excitedly. "That's so cool. Giles can do some spells—Giles is Buffy's Watcher—but he's not really a witch. I bet your spells are so much cooler. Can you show me some?"

Tara's face was pink already. "S-sure," she mumbled, glancing at Buffy as if for permission.

Although she'd generally tried to discourage Dawn from getting involved in the supernatural aspects of their lives at home, Buffy had already learned this Dawn was not as easy to boss around. She nodded her consent. Tara was cautious, and Buffy knew she wouldn't show Dawn anything dangerous.

"Awesome!" Dawn chirped. "Are you going to stay with us?"

"For a while at least," Buffy cut in, stemming the flow of Dawn's enthusiastic babbling. "Actually, Dawnie, I was thinking maybe I could bunk up with you, so Tara doesn't have to sleep on the couch."

Dawn was tempted to say no—Buffy was a renowned cover hog—but seeing how uncomfortable Tara looked, she nodded instead. "Sure."

"Oh," Tara said, dismayed, "you don't have to do that!"

"We don't mind at all," Buffy assured her. "Let me show you where to put your stuff."

The group headed upstairs, with both Willow and Dawn excitedly asking about magic.

Faith could hear them talking from inside her room. She unpacked her duffel bag, tossing dirty clothes into the hamper carelessly. The last item inside was a light blue t-shirt, one of her favorites. It also happened to be the one she was wearing the day before. She remembered Buffy's fingers hooking under the shirt, sliding her cool palms onto Faith's warm skin and tugging it up. Shaking her head, Faith crumpled the shirt into a ball and tossed it into the hamper with the rest. She sat down heavily on the bed. A framed photo of a grinning Buffy stared at her from the bedside table. Under Faith's gaze, the grin seemed to grow sadder. "Don't look at me like that," she muttered. She turned, angled so she wouldn't see the frame anymore.

From down the hall, Buffy giggled at something Willow had said. Faith needed to get out of the house—do something to clear her head.

Digging her cell phone from her pocket, she shot off a quick text message. She plucked her duffel from the bed and strode to the dresser, haphazardly grabbing a few items out and shoving them in the bag. Her phone chirped—a new text. Flipping it open, Faith quickly scanned the contents. Satisfied, she closed the phone and slid it back in her pocket.

A knock sounded at the door, startling her. "Yeah?" Faith called.

Dawn poked her head through the door, smiling happily. "We're gonna stop at the Magic Box so Giles can meet Tara, and then Buffy said she'd spring for dinner." Dawn's eyes glittered with glee. "I'm gonna order the most expensive thing on the menu. You in?"

"No, you're not," Buffy interjected, coming up behind her sister and slinging an arm over her shoulders. Dawn pantomimed stumbling under the weight, and shot her a mock glare. "We're gonna leave in like half an hour," Buffy said, addressing Faith now. "Gotta jump in the shower—eu de road trip doesn't really suit me."

"No," Dawn agreed, wrinkling her nose at her sister, "it doesn't."

Over the sound of Buffy's long-suffering sigh, Faith pulled a look of disappointment. "Actually I was going to head to Xander's, help him with that kitchen remodel he's trying to do before the wedding. He's been watching a little too much HGTV," she joked. "Totally in over his head."

"Oh," Buffy said, trying to appear unfazed. "Okay. Want us to bring you back something? Dawn's eating off the kids' menu, so I can totally bring you a doggie bag."

Dawn protested shrilly.

Faith shook her head. "I'll be out late. Matter of fact, Tara could stay in my room—I can crash at Xander's."

Buffy was starting to feel a little ill. "Okay," she said uncertainly. She knew avoidance when she saw it, and something was telling her that Xander's kitchen didn't need to be worked on urgently.

Dawn was not as unobservant as the slayers believed, and she glanced back and forth between them, suspicious.

"I better go," Faith said, shrugging her pack onto her shoulder. "I'll catch you guys later." She moved past them, ruffling Dawn's hair on her way.

As she disappeared down the stairs, Buffy managed to plaster a smile on her face. "I'll hop in the shower and then we'll go, okay?"

"Sure," Dawn said agreeably.

Buffy moved away, quickly disappearing into her bedroom and closing the door. Downstairs, the front door closed behind Faith. Dawn looked around the empty hallway. Something was definitely up.

XXXXX

"Something's up," Dawn announced, entering the kitchen and interrupting the quiet conversation Tara and Willow were engaged in.

Willow looked at the young girl expectantly. "Are you going to elaborate on that, Dawnie?"

"With Buffy and Faith," Dawn clarified, seating herself beside Tara. "I was watching them talk upstairs, and Faith practically ran out of here."

"She's probably just late to meet Xander," Willow said dismissively. Glancing at Tara, she explained, "Faith works construction, and Xander kind of bit off more than he could chew with his new house."

Tara nodded.

"She wasn't late," Dawn said, as if speaking to complete idiots. "She wasn't even planning to meet him today!"

"How do you know?" Willow asked skeptically.

"Because," Dawn pointed out, "Buffy was surprised. If Faith was going out later, don't you think she would have mentioned it when they were together all weekend?"

Willow thought this was rather thin evidence, but before she could say so, Dawn pointed at her.

"This is all your fault."

"My fault?" Willow repeated, taken aback. "What?"

"They totally did it!" Dawn exclaimed. "You were pushing Buffy to make a move!"

"They're not together?" Tara interjected, surprised.

Neither Willow nor Dawn noticed, too busy arguing. "How do you know that?" Willow demanded. "And anyway, I didn't exactly—"

"I know everything," Dawn cut in smugly. "And you did so!"

"Well," Willow sputtered, her cheeks reddening. "So what! Buffy's been moping around like a… a… moping person, and Faith—"

"Faith's in love with Buffy," Dawn declared. "The real Buffy."

"Umm," Tara said, touching Dawn's wrist gently. She glanced over to see Buffy standing in the doorway to the kitchen.

Buffy lifted her hand, displaying the knapsack dangling from her limp fingers. "I forgot my…" She trailed off, turning away.

"Dawn," Willow hissed.

"What!" Dawn whispered back.

"I'll talk to her," Tara volunteered, seeing that her companions were about to erupt into another argument.

"No," Dawn said, getting up before Tara could, "she's my sister. I'll go."

When Dawn made it to the second floor, Buffy's door was tightly closed. She rapped her knuckles against the door lightly before opening it, not giving her sister the option of telling her to go away. "Are you okay?" Dawn asked, staring at Buffy's back.

The blonde stood at her dresser, palms resting flat on top of it. Her form was stiff. "I'm fine," she replied, her tone flat.

Dawn knew that wasn't true. She entered the room hesitantly, taking a seat on Buffy's bed. "I'm sorry," she offered, still waiting for Buffy to turn around. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."

"No," Buffy said, then cleared her throat before facing her sister. "It's fine."

Dawn didn't believe that for a second. "No, really. I know what it's like to feel like… you're not real. That you don't belong."

Buffy nodded, going to her bed and sitting down tiredly. "I _don't_ belong."

"Buffy," the younger girl said desperately, "You do belong." She came to sit beside her sister, carefully picking up Buffy's hand in her own and pressing their palms together. "Do you remember when I cut my hand? And you said we were sisters no matter what?"

Buffy nodded. Of course she remembered.

"You were right," Dawn told her. "No matter where either of us came from. I _know_ you're my sister." She squeezed Buffy's hand. "But you have to understand, in this world, so is Faith."

Buffy could see things from Dawn's point of view. If the two slayers tried to make a go of things, and it didn't work out, things would definitely change. Faith wouldn't abandon Dawn, but she would move out. They would see less of each other. Dawn was growing up fast, faster than Buffy would have wanted in fact, but she had already lost her mother. She was just afraid of losing what little family she had left.

"I'm really sorry," Dawn tried again, after the lack of response she got from Buffy.

Buffy looked at her, bringing her free hand up to brush Dawn's long hair over her shoulder. "I love you, Dawnie."

Dawn stared at her. "Getting kind of weird."

"Weird love's better than no love."

Dawn laughed. "I've heard that." Releasing Buffy's hand, she smiled tentatively. "So, are we okay?"

"Yep," Buffy said agreeably, "but you are definitely not getting dessert now."

"What!"

"Now get out so I can de-stinkify myself, and we can get this show on the road."

Dawn did as she was told, clomping loudly down the stairs and back to the kitchen.

Alone in her room once more, Buffy took a deep breath and got to her feet. Bending to the bag she'd retrieved from downstairs, she fished out her toiletries. "Okay," she murmured to herself. "You're okay."

Standing in the shower, she was definitely not okay. She didn't want to hurt Dawn, or Faith, or herself for that matter. It seemed like no matter what, someone was going to lose. Unless they tried, and it worked out. Sure, Faith was freaking out now, but they could talk. Things could get better. Wasn't there even a little chance?

By the time she stepped from the shower, Buffy knew what she had to do. She could try to convince herself that things would work, but ultimately Dawn was right. They were a family—albeit a strangely cobbled together one—and some risks were just too big. No matter how much she wanted it, she had to let Faith go.

XXXXX

So… how ya'll doing? Does anyone need a hug? :D


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: *Please do not distribute or post this story anywhere without my permission.* Thanks to cookiesarefood for her betaing skills.

Flowers for a Ghost

_By the time she stepped from the shower, Buffy knew what she had to do. She could try to convince herself that things would work, but ultimately Dawn was right. They were a family—albeit a strangely cobbled together one—and some risks were just too big. No matter how much she wanted it, she had to let Faith go._

Chapter 9

"So," Xander said conversationally, his voice muffled by the mask he wore over his mouth and nose, "the kitchen's really coming along."

"That tends to happen when you spend every free moment working," Oz remarked from behind his own mask.

After pulling the last of the cabinets free from the wall, Faith placed her hands on her hips and surveyed the wrecked kitchen triumphantly. Dust coated her clothes and hair, as well as her two assistants.

"Speaking of which," Xander said, as he walked to the displaced refrigerator, "not that I don't appreciate the help, but do you wanna tell me why you're spending every waking moment in my kitchen?" He unearthed three bottles of water and passed them out.

"Because you left this until two weeks before your wedding, and I don't want Anya to leave you at the altar," Faith suggested, uncapping her water and guzzling half of it quickly.

"Right," Oz said, nodding. "Valid point."

"No, it's not," Xander protested, slipping his mask up over his head. "Well, it is," he corrected, "but that's not what's really going on here."

"It's not?" Faith asked, her tone amused.

"No," Xander insisted, looking at Oz for agreement. The taciturn man merely gazed back, neither confirming nor denying the possibility. Seeing he would get no help from that direction, Xander decided to try another route. "Faith," he began, concern in his voice, "what's going on? Why don't you want to go home?"

She shrugged, pulling her mask over her face and breathing in the somewhat clear air that awaited her.

"Did you have a fight with Buffy?" Xander prodded gently.

"No," Faith answered, with a brittle laugh, "I definitely didn't have a _fight_ with her."

"Then what," Xander started to ask, but cut himself off abruptly. His eyes grew big as saucers. "Oh my God," he exclaimed, turning to Oz, "they totally did it!"

"Still here," Faith cut in, pulling Xander's attention back to her.

"You did it," Xander cried again, his words tumbling out in a jumbled mess as he pictured this in his head, "you and Buffy, and you guys… with the… oh, my God."

"Do you need some sort of medication?" Faith asked.

Oz carefully maneuvered Xander through the open back door and sat him down on the deck. As they waited for Xander to gather his wits about him once more, Oz looked at Faith. "Not the magical experience you were hoping for?"

She sat beside Xander, the bottle of water dangling between her splayed knees. "No, that part was fine."

Apparently having gotten himself pulled together, Xander presented her with a more concerned face. "What's the issue then? The Buffster freaking out?"

Faith sighed, remembering the obvious hurt on Buffy's face as she'd all but fled from the house. "No," she admitted, "I am." Looking down at the bottle she was twisting in her fingers, Faith continued, "I just can't stop thinking about what B would think."

Xander's eyes were sad. "She's not coming back, Faith."

"I know that," the slayer muttered, annoyed.

"Don't you think she'd want you to be happy?" Xander prodded gently.

"Yes," Faith answered without hesitation.

"So, what's the problem?"

Faith shrugged, annoyed with herself, and annoyed with Xander. "She's gone," she said, after a moment, "and no one's even mourning her."

"We are," Xander replied. "We all are, in our own ways. We haven't forgotten about her."

"I'm mourning her?" Faith asked incredulously. "How, by sleeping with Buffy?"

Xander persisted, although it was clear Faith was unwilling to really listen, "I was there when Giles told you it was hopeless," he reminded her. "I saw your reaction. We all know you're grieving for her. Even Buffy does."

Oz tried a different tactic. "If there's a Faith where she is, what do you think Buffy's doing?"

Faith tried to dismiss the question. "If she swapped places with this Buffy, the Faith in that world is locked up."

"Let's say she wasn't," Oz argued.

Faith considered it for a moment. "I don't know."

Xander interjected, "Buffy was crazy about you—she thought you guys were soul mates."

"Such great soul mates that she would jump into bed with anyone who looked like me?"

"No," Xander said, beginning to lose patience. "The kind of soul mates that are meant to be together, no matter how many worlds there are, or what life throws at them. Buffy _is_ Buffy," he said, almost confusing himself trying to explain. "I'm not saying you have to marry her. I'm just saying, don't push her away and say you're doing it for Buffy. She wouldn't want that."

Faith stood, tossing her empty bottle into the trashcan beside the door. "Alright, Dr. Phil, time to get back to work. The kitchen ain't gonna build itself."

Xander looked at Oz, who shook his head, as if telling him to let it go. Faith would come around in her own time, and there didn't seem to be anything they could do to convince her.

XXXXX

Buffy strolled from the student services building, Tara walking happily at her side. "So," she asked, "how does it feel to be once again matriculating at UC Sunnydale?"

"Great," Tara answered quickly. "I can't wait for school to start!"

"Whoa there," Buffy said sarcastically. "Some of us are enjoying vacation."

"Right," Tara said, reigning in her enthusiasm. A moment later, she turned to Buffy, her face serious. "Thank you so much. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't shown up."

"Tara," Buffy said, obviously not for the first time, "stop thanking me!"

Nodding quickly, Tara assured her, "I will! It just hasn't fully sunk in yet."

"Well," Buffy said kindly, "it will." Gazing up the hill beside them to one of the less attractive buildings on campus, she asked, "Are you sure you want to move back into the dorms? You're welcome to stay with us, you know?"

"I don't want to wear out my welcome," Tara protested. "Besides, when Faith gets back—"

"_If _Faith comes back," Buffy corrected, "we'll figure it out."

Watching Buffy's dejected expression from the corner of her eye, Tara asked, "She's still at Xander's?"

"That's the word on the Scooby grapevine," the slayer answered. Her tone filled with annoyance. "The Faith I knew wasn't exactly big on dealing, but I thought the Faith here was less into the avoiding thing. Guess I was wrong." Tara frowned sympathetically as Buffy continued, "Does she think she's going to live at Xander's now? Because I don't think that's really the honeymoon he was envisioning. And what about us? I'm mopey, and Dawn's moping is in another league. I just want her to come home. We can pretend it never happened if she wants. She just needs to come home, and…" Buffy trailed off, smiling sheepishly. "And I'm totally rambling. I'm sorry."

"No," Tara said, "it's okay. Just… why don't you tell her?"

"That I want her to come back?" Buffy asked uncertainly. "She can't deal with us sleeping together. I don't know how she's going to take the 'move back in and be platonic life partners with me' speech."

Tara smiled. "I wasn't going to put it quite like that."

"Then how would you put it?" Buffy asked, as they entered the quad. The area was set up with a variety of tables geared toward the touring students wandering the campus. "Cupcakes!"

Allowing herself to be steered toward the cupcakes, Tara shook her head. "I'm not really good at speeches. Just talk to her, you'll think of something."

The women manning the table frowned as Buffy picked up three cupcakes, in spite of the sign encouraging them to take _one_. "Maybe I should bring her cupcakes," Buffy suggested, before biting into the first of hers. "I'll get her in to a sugar coma, and it won't matter what I say."

Picking up her own cupcake, Tara quickly led the way away from the table. "Good idea," she said, half seriously. Baked goods did tend to improve things.

Buffy bit into her second cupcake dejectedly. She wasn't sure there were enough cupcakes in Sunnydale to really make her talk with Faith any easier.

XXXXX

Another three days went by before Buffy had absolutely had enough of Faith's stubbornness. She finished washing the dinner dishes and picked up her car keys.

"Where are you going?" Dawn asked. "I thought we were doing movie night. Lost and Delirious is out!" She held the DVD aloft as if to convince her sister.

"I'll be back soon," Buffy promised. "I'm just gonna run to Xander's."

Realizing what that meant, Dawn dropped her protest. "Okay."

During the drive over, Buffy practiced all the very calm and convincing things she would say to Faith. She planned to confidently inform her that there would be no weirdness between them. They would be friends who were co-parenting a teenage girl by day, and slaying demons by night, and that was all. No feelings. No aggressive yet sexy wrestling during sparring. Nada.

Xander opened the door to her knock, immediately ushering her in. "An," he addressed his fiancé, "let's go to the store and get that stuff we need."

Anya frowned. "We don't need anything."

"Did I say store?" Xander asked, slapping himself lightly on the forehead. "I meant ATM! I have money to deposit."

"Money?" Anya immediately perked up. "How much money?"

Xander lifted his car keys from the table by the door. "I'll show you! _Just get in the car_."

If Anya was suspicious at all, it didn't show. She gladly followed Xander outside, leaving Buffy standing alone in their living room. There was a clear sight line to the still under construction kitchen. It looked almost complete. Faith had been busy. Just as Buffy began to walk toward the back of the house, Faith emerged from the small hallway off the kitchen, which Buffy knew led to the spare bedroom. She lingered in the doorway, arms crossed over her stomach. "Hey."

"Hey," Buffy said back, reaching the kitchen. "You've gotten a lot done back here. It looks good."

"Thanks."

All of her well planned thoughts seemed to be fleeing her mind. Buffy ran her fingertips awkwardly over the island's countertop. "Dawn'll be happy when you're done," she suggested. _So will I. _"She misses you at home."

Faith looked a little stricken at that. "I miss her, too."

Trying not to sound like a desperate girlfriend, Buffy asked, "You _are_ coming home, right?"

"I don't—"

Buffy rushed on, not wanting to give Faith the opportunity to say no. "If you're worried about what happened between us being an issue, you don't have to be."

Faith paused, surprised. Things between them were a jumbled mess, but the one thing they were _not_ was a non-issue. If Buffy's nervous demeanor was any indication, she definitely didn't believe her own words. "Why not?"

"It was just a mistake," Buffy said, trying to sound calm.

"A mistake," Faith repeated hollowly. That stung. Yes, she'd been thinking it was a mistake too, but a few days away from the house had started to shift her thinking. She didn't know for sure what she wanted now. Plus she'd thought that Buffy had real feelings for her. She wasn't expecting the other slayer to say it had been a mistake.

"Yes," Buffy said, "a mistake. You're obviously really uncomfortable around me now." Buffy blinked her suddenly wet eyes, unable to look Faith fully in the face.

Thinking she'd really better start explaining herself to Buffy, Faith dropped her crossed arms and stepped forward. "I was, yeah, but—"

"Okay," Buffy cut in, her voice laced with hurt. "So let's just pretend this never happened." She swallowed hard, willing herself not to get more upset. Faith would never want to come home if she could tell how sad this was making her.

Faith flinched. "Is that really what you want?"

She wanted to say no, of course not, but hadn't Faith shown that she couldn't handle any kind of relationship between them? She'd practically run away as soon as she could. "I just think it's for the best."

Faith nodded, her jaw tight. She knew she could have handled the situation better, but Buffy's method of unilaterally deciding where they'd go from here was rubbing her the wrong way. "Look," she said, finally being allowed to speak freely, "I just needed a little space to… process. I get that you told me something pretty serious, and I was a total dick to disappear like that. I'm not saying," she paused when Buffy shook her head, "what?"

"It's not about—I'm not upset. I'm just thinking about the bigger picture."

"Bigger picture?" Faith asked, increasingly annoyed by Buffy's monopolizing of the conversation.

"We're a family," Buffy answered, "a really, really weird family. I don't want to jeopardize that—not when we don't know what this is, if it's anything at all." She finally managed to meet Faith's eyes again. "I'm just trying to do what's best for Dawn."

Faith felt her face flush. "And what, I'm not thinking about Dawn?"

"I didn't say that, I—"

The words were out before she could stop them. "You're not even really her sister!"

Buffy froze, looking stunned.

"Buffy, I didn't mean that," Faith said immediately, reaching for the blonde's arm.

Buffy's fist met Faith's jaw with painful accuracy, sending her stumbling backward. Buffy's throat was thick with the tirade about to spill forth, but she hesitated a moment, seeing that Faith wasn't turning back toward her. Had she really hurt her? The thought cooled the anger coiling in her stomach.

After a moment, Faith's shoulders began to shake, her breathing loud and uneven.

"Faith?" Buffy asked cautiously.

Faith whirled to face her, while simultaneously stepping further away. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" She hissed, cupping her red face.

Buffy gazed back, surprised by the tears leaking from Faith's eyes. "I wasn't thinking; I just reacted."

"You reacted by punching me in the face," Faith replied incredulously. "So again, what the fuck is wrong with you? You can't just hit people if they say shit you don't like."

"I don't," Buffy protested, kind of mystified by Faith's clear agitation.

"Just me?"

"I," Buffy began, then seemed to change her mind, "I'm sorry." She tried to close the distance between them, but Faith quickly stepped away.

"Don't you touch me," she said through gritted teeth.

Buffy dropped her hand.

"We're not in your fucked up fucking world. You do _not_ hit me. Ever."

"I'm sorry," Buffy said again, her voice sincere. "I just—"

"You just what?" Faith demanded shrilly.

"I got angry and I… I just reacted. I'm sorry."

Faith shook her head, dropping her hand from her rapidly bruising face. "You know I was actually thinking that I was freaking out over nothing. That maybe me and you together wasn't that crazy. Well, joke's on me, right? You look at me, and you see _her_."

"That's not what I said," Buffy immediately protested, then the rest of Faith's words sunk in. "Wait, you were thinking maybe this isn't crazy?"

Disgusted, Faith shook her head again.

"Faith," Buffy pleaded, "I'm sorry."

Faith turned away from her. "Just go." Without waiting for a response, she disappeared back down the hall to the spare bedroom. The door closed behind her with a quiet click.

Buffy stood in the kitchen for a moment, replaying the scene that had just happened in her mind. Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes throbbing painfully. She turned, quickly heading for the exit. She managed to close the front door behind her before she started to cry.

Xander's car turned the corner, headed for home. Buffy quickly wiped her face, darting for the Jeep and climbing in. She pulled haphazardly from the curb before Xander made it to the driveway. She couldn't stand to answer his questions or see his concern, knowing how badly she'd just screwed up. Another block up, she stopped at a stop sign. Hot tears coursed down her cheeks. She leaned forward against her steering wheel, trying to get herself under control. A moment later, there was a honk behind her. Another car was waiting. Buffy sucked in a deep breath and blinked to clear her eyes. Then she drove forward, toward home.

XXXXX

Thank you so much for reading. :) I will be out of town next Friday, but I will post the next chapter as quickly as I can.


	10. Chapter 10

*Please do not distribute or post this story anywhere without my permission.* Thanks to cookiesarefood for her betaing skills.

I'm back in town and responding to reviews now! Sorry for the delayed response if you left one. Much appreciated as always. :)

FLOWERS FOR A GHOST

_Hot tears coursed down her cheeks. She leaned forward against her steering wheel, trying to get herself under control. A moment later there was a honk behind her. Another car was waiting. Buffy sucked in a deep breath and blinked to clear her eyes. Then she drove forward, toward home._

Chapter 10

Buffy felt like her face would crack from all the fake smiling. Being a bridesmaid had seemed really glamorous when Anya had first asked, but the actual duties did not live up to her expectations. It mostly consisted of guiding the already intoxicated guests away from the open bar, and trying to keep Xander's Uncle Rory from palming her butt during one of the many times he had cut in on her dancing with someone (anyone!) else. The dress wasn't exactly flattering either. Through some cruel twist of fate, Willow had escaped bridesmaid duty. Instead she was wearing a flattering slim cut tuxedo that complimented Xander's, having been assigned the role of best man. Faith too had escaped the green monstrosity currently wrinkling in every conceivable location. Only Dawn shared her pain. Actually, Dawn had gotten off a little worse, since her dress came complete with horrendous puffy sleeves.

Dinner had been a pleasant interruption from the whole thing, with just the gang sitting at the head table and chatting quietly. No sooner had the first couple headed back to the dance floor than Uncle Rory was back at her elbow, holding out his hand in invitation. Trying to keep the frown from her face, Buffy sighed and accepted his hand, allowing herself to be led back toward the floor.

Uncle Rory stopped short of the floor when his path was blocked by a tuxedo-ed form. "Actually," Faith said, her voice chipper, "do you mind if I cut in? I've been waiting all night to get on blondie's dance card." She punctuated this statement with a wink. Uncle Rory seemed torn between politeness and wanting to further monopolize Buffy's time. "Thanks," Faith said, not waiting for his response. She stepped around him, seizing Buffy's empty hand and pulling her free.

Buffy followed her gladly. Faith walked to the center of the floor, turning and placing Buffy's palm on her shoulder.

Trying to cover her surprise at Faith choosing to interact with her, Buffy said, "I was beginning to pray that vampires would invade the reception so I would have a valid excuse to get away, but this is much better. Thank you." She laid her other hand on Faith's shoulder.

"Well," Faith murmured, finding a comfortable grip on Buffy's waist, "after your tenth dance I started to feel pretty sorry for you. Thank God you're a slayer or he would have broken a few of your toes."

"Please," Buffy muttered, "him stepping on my feet was the least of my problems."

"Uncle Rory's a little handsy," Faith agreed. "If he asks Dawn to dance I'm gonna throw him out on his ass."

Buffy looked around quickly, relaxing when she spotted her sister dancing goofily with Tara. "I second that."

There were several inches between them, and the pair shuffled along slowly, like middle schoolers at their first dance. The momentary levity seemed gone, and the silence quickly became strained.

Trying to keep the mood light, Faith forced herself to look at Buffy. "You look nice."

Buffy gave her an _oh please_ look. "I look like a Mucinex commercial."

Faith snorted. "No," she protested, obviously lying.

"_You_ look good," Buffy said jealously. "Why couldn't I be on Xander's side? No fair."

"Like Anya was going to get me in _that_?"

Buffy shot her a mock glare. "So what you're saying is, I have you to blame for me being in this fashion faux pas?"

Faith merely grinned.

"I'll remember this," Buffy promised darkly. The song tapered off and another slow tune began playing. Glancing around, Buffy saw that Dawn was still safe from Xander's unsavory relatives. As silence threatened to descend once more, she tried to keep Faith talking. "So, how have you been?"

"Okay." Faith shrugged. "Working, the usual."

"Yeah…" The usual included picking Dawn up for outings and occasionally running in to Buffy on patrol, but it did not seem to include any plans of coming back to Revello Drive. It definitely did not include any actual conversation between the two slayers.

"How are you?" Faith asked politely.

Buffy opened her mouth to give back some vague pleasantry, but the truth tumbled free instead. "I feel like a horrible person," she answered honestly. "I want to talk to you all the time and tell you how sorry I am, but I know you don't want to see me so I'm trying to respect that."

Faith stared at her for a moment, her fingers unconsciously tightening around Buffy's waist. She looked like she might walk away, but finally she said, "I'm here now."

Forgetting to dance, Buffy took a deep breath. This wasn't exactly the venue she had planned for this discussion, but if Faith was willing to listen, then she had to roll with it. "I know I messed up," she began sincerely. "I know I crossed a line with you. I obviously still have issues I need to work out related to the other Faith. And I know you're not her. I _do_ know that. I see how you love Dawn, and hard you work here. What an amazing slayer you are."

"It didn't seem like you knew that a few weeks ago," Faith pointed out, her voice flat.

Buffy winced, but nodded in agreement. "I know. I'm sorry, Faith."

Faith digested this quietly for a moment. Then she said, "I get that you had a pretty heavy situation where you came from. But you literally, three seconds before that, were telling me that we're family. And then you hit me. Do you get why this is such a big deal?"

"Yes," Buffy assured her, "I do."

Faith nodded, her brow still furrowed.

"I hope you can forgive me."

"Buffy," Faith said, sighing, "I can forgive you. It's just... everything that happened was so messed up, and some of it was me, some of it was you. I just don't know where we are."

"I understand," Buffy said sadly.

Faith noticed Willow looking at them with concern from where she stood, off the dance floor. She pushed gently at Buffy's hips, starting them moving once more. "I don't think you do," she answered. "What I had before, with her... I never knew people could be that happy, you know?" She looked away, her face wistful. "Now she's gone, but here you are. And I'm looking at you and I'm thinking... maybe you're supposed to be here." She met Buffy's eyes, looking at her intensely. "You're wound so tight, Buffy, and you have these walls up that I don't even totally get yet, but you started to let me in. I know you did," she added plaintively. "And you look so fucking good, and I just—I'm losing my mind here."

Buffy stepped closer, her hands tightening on Faith's shoulders. "You're not," she promised.

Faith's hands on her waist stopped her from moving any closer. "Well, I must be," Faith said quietly, "because just when I start thinking maybe something this crazy could actually work, you remind me that it can't."

Ouch. "You didn't handle things that well either," Buffy pointed out, with no real malice in her tone.

Faith accepted this. "Yeah, I know."

Desperate to salvage something out of this conversation, Buffy said, "Maybe it's just not right. Or maybe I pushed things too fast. Nothing has to happen between us. Just come home."

Faith wanted to go home. She missed Dawn. She missed the house, with its big, bright kitchen and the leak she'd been meaning to fix under the bathroom sink. It was the only place that had ever really felt like home to her. She knew she couldn't stay at Xander's much longer. He and Anya would be back from their honeymoon, and they would need their own space. She had been debating whether it was a good idea to go back to Revello Drive, or whether it was time to face facts and get her own place. It would be somewhere nearby, where she could still spend plenty of time with Dawn.

"We miss you," Buffy added.

Going back meant going back to Buffy. Even if they scrapped this whole crazy thing and kept things completely platonic, was she really going to be able to live with Buffy? "I need a little more time," Faith said, "to think."

Buffy's face fell. She nodded in resignation. She didn't really believe Faith would come back, and that hurt. It hurt for herself, because she knew there had been a chance between them to make a go of things. Not necessarily romantically, but just to have a relationship that didn't end in blood and tears. If she'd ever had that chance with Faith at home, it had been too short and tenuous to grasp. She wanted that here. It hurt too for Dawn. Buffy had thought she was doing the right thing, trying to shut down things with Faith before it hurt their ability to live together as the family Dawn so desperately needed. Instead, all she'd done was mess things up.

"Hey," Faith said, noticing Buffy's clear sadness, "it's okay. I meant what I said-we're, well, we're not _good_, but we're okay. I'm not going to disappear if I don't move back."

"Right," Buffy said, forcing some pep into her voice. "Of course. I know that."

From the stage, Oz's voice rang out. "If I can have everyone's attention over here," he paused, gesturing to the small table near the stage where Xander and Anya stood, beaming. "Our newlyweds are ready to cut the cake!"

Buffy pulled her hands back from Faith's shoulders. The brunette gave her waist a last squeeze and then released her. "Come on," she said, "let's watch Anya murder Xander after he smears cake on her face."

Buffy cracked a smile at that. Faith could find an upside to everything.

XXXXX

With the Fall quarter only days away, UC Sunnydale's campus was brimming with students. The lines at the bookstore were out the door. Parents of freshmen bustled around, blinking back tears. The dorms were a madhouse, with people dropping boxes and knocking in to one another right and left. "You're sure you wanna stay here?" Buffy asked, as she easily juggled all of Tara's belongings in her arms.

Tara inserted her newly claimed key into the lock on the door. "Positive," she said, grinning. The knob turned, and she opened the door to reveal a small, bare room outfitted as a single.

"At least you have your own room," Buffy conceded, entering and depositing her items on the bed.

"I'm not really in to roommates," Tara admitted, as she unearthed a small box of desk supplies from the pile. "Something about other people seeing me undressing really freaks me out."

Buffy raised an eyebrow.

Flushing, Tara muttered, "N-not in all contexts."

"I would hope not," Buffy replied, grinning at Tara's obvious discomfort. She settled herself on a bare section of the mattress, beginning to sift through Tara's belongings and separate them.

"So," Tara said, trying desperately to change the subject, "I was thinking of adopting a cat. They're doing an adoption event at the pet store this weekend, and I saw some of the kittens online. So cute."

Buffy's ears perked up at this. "What would you name it?" She asked curiously.

Tara considered this, as she arranged a variety of items on her desk. "Something cool like… Miss Kitty Fantastico?" She suggested. "Oh! Or Pierre."

"Pierre?" Buffy laughed. It was endlessly fascinating to Buffy to find out which things stayed the same in this reality and which were different. "My vote's on the first one."

"It does have a certain ring to it." Satisfied with the desk, Tara retrieved her suitcase from the bed, plopping it on the desk chair and unzipping it. As she began placing her small amount of clothing in the battered dresser, she asked, "Has Faith said anything about moving back in now that I'll be out of her room?"

"That'd be a no," Buffy said discontentedly. "When she said she needed time to think, I was hoping she meant like half a day."

Tara smiled sympathetically. "It's only been a week since you guys talked it out."

"I know," Buffy said. "On the plus side, I've had lots of time to dwell on all the things that went wrong with me and Faith at home, and how I could have avoided some of them." She smiled with false cheer.

"Oh, sweetie," Tara said, stilling her organizing to look at her friend. "You can't beat yourself up over everything from the past. That's not going to help."

"I know," Buffy agreed, "and I'm not trying to do that. It's just that the more I think about her, really think about her, the less I hate her and the more I just feel… sad."

"Isn't that better than hating her?"

"I'm not sure." Buffy fidgeted uncomfortably under Tara's gaze, and the witch resumed her unpacking. "I wrote her a letter," Buffy said a moment later. She looked up to meet Tara's eyes. "Probably silly." Actually it had felt pretty good. She'd put it all out on paper. The things Faith had done that had hurt her so badly. The things she wished she could take back. It was so much easier to talk to someone when you knew they'd never know what you said.

"It's not silly," Tara insisted. "It sounds good. It sounds like you're letting go."

It felt suspiciously like that too. "Which would have been a good thing to do before I tried to knock Faith's teeth in."

"It would have," Tara admitted, "but better late than never."

"I think it's _too_ late in this case."

"I don't think so," Tara said sincerely.

She really hoped Tara was right.

XXXXX

"Hi," Buffy said cautiously, when Faith opened the door to Xander's house.

"Hey," Faith greeted. "What's up? You wanna come in?"

"No, actually," Buffy said awkwardly. "I wanted to give you something."

Faith watched curiously as Buffy reached in her bag and produced a slim white envelope.

"Here," Buffy said, thrusting it forward.

"What's this?" Faith asked, running her fingers over the unmarked paper.

Buffy hesitated. "You'll see," she said. "Just read it."

"Okay," Faith agreed, giving her a weird look.

Buffy turned, rushing back the Jeep. Faith looked down at the envelope in her hand, then closed the door. She'd been in the middle of making herself dinner, so she headed back to Xander's _(gorgeous, amazing, who did that kitchen?) _kitchen. Initially, she placed the envelope down on the island, flipping the burner under her stir-fry back on. As she stood there, sautéing her dinner, curiosity kept drawing her eyes back to the small package. She tried to ignore it, but Faith had always been an instant gratification type of girl. She turned the burner back off, set her spatula down, and picked the envelope up. She carefully slid her finger under the flap, tearing it down the seam. Inside was a single sheet of lined paper, folded in thirds, and filled with Buffy's loopy handwriting.

Faith leaned on the counter, and began to read.

XXXXX

With Dawn and Buffy both at school, Faith entered an empty house. She wasted no time in heading through the kitchen and out the back door. Her eyes immediately sought the lavender she'd planted several weeks ago. The stone sat where she'd left it, and it was warm to the touch when she knelt and placed her hand flat on it.

"Sorry I haven't been by," she said quietly. "A lot's been going on."

She sat in silence for a few moments, feeling the cool breeze ruffle her hair. "This wasn't supposed to happen," she said aloud. "This wasn't our deal. You weren't supposed to leave me. Not like this," she paused, brushing away the first few tears beginning to drip down her cheeks.

"You're supposed to be here. But you're not. I don't even know if you're… if you're okay, or if you died, and I am so _lost_. I am so lost without you." She leaned forward, her palms pressing down into the marker, shoulders beginning to shake. "I feel like I'm betraying you. How stupid is that? How fucking stupid is that? _You_ left _me_." Sobbing now, she slumped down, her head on her forearms. "You left me."

She cried there, her tears collecting on the impervious stone, until her ribs ached, and her face burned. Finally, Faith took a deep, shaking breath, and sat back on her heels. Her fingers lingered for a moment longer on the stone, softly, like a lover's touch, before she gently pulled them back. "I think," she said hoarsely, staring at the makeshift marker, "I think I have to stop this." She blinked against the tears rapidly invading her eyes once more. "I have to let you go." She nodded, swallowing hard. Climbing to her feet, she took a deep breath. She squared her shoulders, and turned, heading back in the house.

She washed her face in the kitchen sink. After, she pressed her hot cheeks into one of the flowery dishtowels Joyce had loved and dried off. On her way out, she paused in the foyer, quickly flicking through the stack of mail neatly piled there. One envelope in particular caught her eye. It was addressed to Buffy, from the department of Family and Social Services. It was neatly torn open, the contents folded back inside. Faith plucked the letter free, opening it without hesitation. She quickly skimmed it. Their social worker had recommended that their case be resolved. She was confident that Dawn was in a loving, stable home, with more than adequate care. Faith tucked the letter back inside, replacing it in the pile. Then she sat down on the stairs to wait.

XXXXX

Buffy made her way up the porch steps, her coffee clutched in one hand while she tried to select the correct key from her ring with the other. Her sunglasses slid down, barely dangling on the bridge of her nose, while her purse meandered perilously close to the edge of her shoulder.

She reached for the doorknob, and was surprised to find it unlocked. Cautiously, she nudged the door open with her toe, looking around for signs of demonic activity. Instead, she found Faith, seated on the stairs, tapping a folded envelope on her knee—Buffy's envelope, containing Buffy's letter to the Faith back home.

"Hey," Faith greeted, her face largely unreadable.

"Hey," Buffy said, putting her things down on the table beside the mail. "Dawn won't be home for another hour." She smoothed her hair back, forcing a smile to her face even though she felt nervous.

"Yeah," Faith agreed, standing up. "I came to see you." She came down the last two stairs, stopping a few feet from Buffy. She held the envelope up briefly, then placed it down on the table, tapping it lightly as she let go.

"Oh," Buffy said, dumbly.

Faith stuffed her now empty hands in her pockets, rolling her shoulders forward. "I didn't know… I mean, I knew some of it, but I really didn't _know_."

"I wasn't ready for you to," Buffy replied, her eyes somewhere around Faith's bellybutton.

"Did you really mean what you told her?" Faith asked. "Can you ever really forgive someone for all of that?"

"I didn't used to think so," Buffy answered. "She tried to apologize to me after… _after_, and I just couldn't hear it. I wasn't ready. I thought I'd never be ready."

"And now?"

"Now," Buffy said, taking a deep breath, "Faith is gone—or I'm gone, however you want to say it—and I can't change what happened. But I can choose what I do now. And I'm choosing to let it go. Let her go."

Faith nodded, taking another small step forward. The early afternoon sunlight drifting into the foyer cast her shadow long on the stairs. "Why'd you show me this?"

Buffy swallowed hard. "I want you to know me. I want you to know my story. Even the horrible parts, even the things I'm ashamed of." She blinked, unsure why her eyes were suddenly wet. "I'm letting you in." She looked at Faith, standing just out of her reach. "I want you to let me in." She took a step closer. "No running away, no hiding. Can you do that?"

Faith thought about the stone outside. She thought about the wind on Glory's tower, about B's hair flying behind her as she jumped through the air. She thought about Buffy and Faith, each of them trying to break the other one. She thought about Buffy standing in that hotel room in Idaho, her wrist grasped in Faith's fingers, her lips turning up, pink and sweet. "I don't know," she said honestly, reaching out to take Buffy's fingers, pulling her forward, meeting her in the middle, "but I can try."

XXXXX

That's all, folks. Thank you for reading this one.

A lot of people have asked me about Alt Buffy, wanting to see her in this story. I mostly blew you off. :p I had good reason… Alt Buffy has her own story. :D It is being posted at chosentwofanfic dot com, and I just uploaded the first chapter. It's called The Girl from Away. Hope you will check that one out too. Any readers and/or authors are welcome to sign up at C2, and we'd love to see any of you over there. You bring the feedback; I'll bring the fuffy. :p :D


End file.
